WINGS || Taehyung

#49 - Family Forever

You sighed as you warily eyed the heaps of notes you had yet to finish. Who knew the lectures would be so much in only a month? And it didn't help that you'd missed out on the important ones. Your finals were around the corner and coping with anything at all was tough. But you'd long deserted the idea of complaining. Jungkook, too, had not been bothered by the amount of homework he had from school - or he simply chose not to be bothered in front of you.

Two months passed in a hectic mess - copying notes and learning them late into the night, while Jungkook returned late from practice occasionally and joined in completing his own school work with you beside him. Food was often neglected as you'd barely had any time for bathroom breaks - let alone cooking. But Jungkook would be such a sweetheart sometimes and bring home some take away, convince you to eat with him and you'd both binge watch something on Netflix. It was all okay.

Except...

Except you missed Jin. Everything you did, everywhere you went, every footstep you took further away or closer to his room - a room that was now used by Jungkook, you'd remember him. Holding a mug for a cup of coffee would remind you of him, because he always made that perfect cup of coffee - dark, strong, and slightly sweet - just the way you loved it. And walking into the kitchen was usually out of the question - that man had made the kitchen his home. It was impossible to not remember him anywhere you went. At times, you even found yourself picking up his shirts from one far end in his closet and sniffing them, because he'd hugged you so many times that you'd got accustomed to the scent. And now that he was gone - it was sometimes, or for days together, too hard to bear. You'd curl up into a ball and cry and cry and cry for hours on end. Jungkook would sometimes cry along with you - because he was just as much as friend as he was a brother to him. And not to mention, he missed his best friend so very much.

You'd rarely seen Jungkook cry over Jimin's demise. But the day of his best friend's funeral was a day you'd never forget. He seemed to be more heartbroken than Jimin's parents were. Jimin's mother had even offered to let you both stay with them - or at least Jungkook, but he'd politely declined with tears in his eyes. You were the only family left for him, and he'd need somebody to hold onto just as much you'd needed somebody as well.

It was possible that your thoughts swarmed with Taehyung more than Jin. It was happening now. Since Jin was gradually being forgotten - his clothes had been given away to his parents in the next month, the car he owned being used by your brother was perhaps the only reminder left of his. And the pictures in your phone. Perhaps you ought to delete them if you really wanted to move on.

But that's what you were afraid of.

You believed - which Jungkook deemed a stupid hope - that one day maybe Taehyung might return, maybe not to live with you like you were hoping, but maybe for a final, satisfying farewell. The last time you'd seen him, exactly three months ago was in such a haste. Words were either impossible to find in the coiled mess of queries and doubts or there was too much to say - no in between. And this time, if you'd be given one last chance to tell him goodbye - you'd rectify those rookie mistakes, and you'd organize your words better. You were sure of it. Only, you weren't sure of whether you'd be given that chance.

Sometimes, you'd remember the night you'd slept with him - given away your first time to a Fallen Angel. And more than being disappointed, you held a certain pride that you couldn't quite decipher why you were having. But, nevertheless, you'd loved that night and you also hated it because you now felt stupid - you'd felt this much earlier - for not letting him know of your feelings back when you'd really had the chance. Then maybe you'd have gotten more time with him. Much deserved time.

'Hey, Y/N, you're day dreaming again.' Jungkook had been waving his hand in front of you for the past few minutes, and only now had you seemed to take notice. Blinking rapidly, your cheeks flushed before your pen pretended to work swiftly on the paper you were writing on, and the one you'd deserted because you just couldn't write the essay on 'The Happiest Moments of Your Life'.

The irony - you wanted to laugh at it; go shove the paper into the professor's face and burn it perhaps. Because anything that had been happening in your life for the past three months was everything but happy. Was anything but worth remembering.

'How was practice?' You really were considering doing the above scenario. It might calm your inner self. For now, all you wanted was distraction. You turned around to look at him and frowned as you saw his lip quivering slightly. Then he cleared his throat loudly.

'Usual - guys messing up, myself messing up even more - I don't even know why I'm bothering to continue-'

'Hey,' You sat beside your brother on the couch, his white shirt a perfect see through as the material absorbed his sweat. 'You've been working on this dream for years. What use would all that hard work be if you let go right now?' You ran your fingers through his sweat slick hair. He clicked his tongue softly before a tiny smile rested on his lips - he liked what you were doing. You pressed the pads of your fingers onto his scalp, massaging it gently, not at all minding the sweat.

'It's just for a few more months and you'll finally be showing yourself to the world - who you are and what you're very much capable of doing.' You cooed gently. It was silent for a few moments - and those few moments, was some time that was needed to forget you had any worries in this world.

His closed eyes opened slowly, his gaze directly set on you, 'Why didn't you tell me about your mother?'

Your fingers stopped working, your eyes slightly wavering as they struggled to remain focused. You never knew he'd known of your deceased mother all along. The pictures were so carefully hidden-

'Father had told me...to get me to go against you- but that's not the point here. You could've told me about her, Y/N.'

'How did you- What made you think I was hiding it from you?' Since he was adopted, you'd assumed with your lacking knowledge that he wouldn't want to know about her. So you never bothered to bring it up. It wasn't a complete lie.

'With every year older I got and understood you, Y/N, I could see the burdens you'd faced from it all. Waiting until you'd turned of age - it was painful or you. Although you'd really tried to hide those bruises, I'd seen them. And when you'd finally won legal custody over me,' He stopped to wipe a tear that had fallen onto your cheek, 'I thought you'd be free from all that burden, but...but you still weren't at peace. And you still aren't.'

You opened your mouth to reprimand him, because you were already beginning to get defensive. But he beat you to it, 'Sometimes - sometimes I feel like I'm not talking to my sister but to a completely different person. The person whom you've lived the entirety of your life showing others. The only times I've seen you be your actual self was when you cried yourself to sleep at more nights than one, or the time you had to keep me safe from all those people. I saw you fight, Y/N, and that was you letting out your anger and sorrow on them. That was you, being you.' You stared at him with wide eyes. For a nineteen-year-old who barely got pass through Math and English, he was a boy of words and understanding. Some traits you'd never thought he'd possess. Because that's what he showed the world.

'But I don't blame you, though. I love you either way, Y/N. You're my family, after all.' He added with an adorable eye smile that had your heart shaking and eyes watering as you embraced him. You were his family, and he was yours. You both were each other's strength, yet each other's weakness. You stayed on the couch with your hands around his neck and his around your waist for minutes, and you wouldn't have minded to remain so for hours. But you had work to finish - which you now were enthusiastic to finish. You definitely knew what were 'The Happiest Moments of Your Life'. And they were moments spent with your brother, if not with anybody else.