My Heart is All Yours

2)Regrets

Chapter is dedicated to my bestiee @ferin-binth-gafoor.

Bahz bin hakeem reported:
The messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him said,
"Varily anger corrupts the matter just as vinegar spoils honey."
[At-Tabaran,Al-mu'jam Al kabeer, no:16386, Hasan]

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7/8/2017(present day)

Ajay's pov:-

I never in my life ever thought a day would come like this.A day just as I wished once.Now I am regretting the words once I had said.I regretting the chaos I had made.Regretting the days which I had lived once.Regretting for being not me then.

People say never make a promise when you are happy . They say never take a decision when you are sad and never say a word when you are angry.I say never wish a thing when you are angry.

We wish.Wish upon everything.On every moments we live.On everydays we wish something.We wish on the happiest moment.Wish on the sorrowful time and wish on the expectations we have.Wish on the fear we have and wish at the times of angry.

In my case, I wished on the last part.Yes,Anger make us wish.wish on the worst things that could happen.Even we wish upon the death.And I, I wished more than death.

Now I think I did the mistake.A biggest mistake in my life.Seeing her here on the bed makes me feel hurt.Because there is somehow somewhere i know, is my fault too .But didn't I wait for this to happen??I want to be happy now.But why can't I? ?Is it a sympathy?Or realization hitting that I am the reason for this.

2 years.I was waiting for this to happen for 2 years.But what happened to me? It feels like she is going through the same stages like once I lived.Now I am stuck between my happiness and anger.Don't know what happened to me that now I actually feels like regretting.

Standing here alone on her bedside and looking at her make me realize what situations I went through, that I wanted to forget, but doesn't go away easily,despite how hard i tried.But more than that I realize what I did to her.I didn't even know what took me here? Why am i here?? When I heard about her accident this morning I was just feeling nostalgic ,rather irritated.Should'nt I be happy? Happy because I was waiting for this.happy because she was the person who made my life a living hell.But why? Why can't I??What landed me here from lendon.

Her doctor told me that she was having hallucinations.And while then she met the accident.Was i the reason for her hallucinations?
I want to be strong now.This is the situation which I've been waited for all these times.Now I can't take the risk by letting myself down.Call her and say her that my wish is accepted. And it is accomplished.but..

But looking at the sleeping aastha infront of me makes me feel hurt.I squirmed on seeing the innocent looking aastha.It hurts to even knowing that she is having this torture in life.

I was looking and looking at her when I heard the door clicked open and there he came.

What is he doing here?

He stood there dumbstruck as me when his eyes met me.

Breaking the complete silence he asked "What are you doing here??"his voice show a little bit anger.

"I was just came to"i was saying when he cut me off.

"Ooh don't say you came here for enjoying the scene.You know. after fulfilling your revenge and"

He was saying and i cut him off and asked confusedly "Hey,what the heck are you talking?"

But i know exactly what he's talking about.