My Heart is All Yours

26)Convert & Abandoned

"And you see the people entering in to the religion of Allah in multitudes.
Then exalt (Him) with the praise of your Lord & ask forgiveness of Him. Indeed,He is ever accepting of repentance", (Surah AnNasr-2 & 3)-Quran

...

In life,most people must have felt and experienced their most awaited dream coming true.Living their dream.. A dream,a prayer,that first falls out of their mouth once they keep their head in the ground.A dream that's been residing in their hearts for a very long that even witnessing it in reality was unbelievable.A dream,they thought was far yet near,fearing if it would ever slip away.A dream that only Allah had the power to give it life.

From what I know or more like what I feel, I was one of those people who got blessed with watching their dream being painted in a reality for forever in their heart,infront of my best friend,imam and a stranger who was yet to be called as mine,at this Masjid.Just the thought bought shivers down my spine,I embarked on this unforeseen which is still difficult to unfold.

It happened half an hour before when  the man who's taken control of my mind now actually confessed or asked for my hand in marriage.My unshed tears filling in my eyes made the vision blurry of the man,yet I saw how he shivered a little to watch my reaction.I saw how he breathed out the pent up fear and nervousness once I managed to tell him I was ready to take a new path with this man of my dreams.

I looked at the form sitting in my front,the very man I always wished to see despite the trembles that formed around my body.I looked at his eyes,a hazel desert in which I found my little figure lurking in search of one thing, Trust.And he showed me all the remnants of sand in those desert,conveying me to hold on to it and I did. I trusted him.

I trusted him when he said he'd talk to my family for my hand in marriage.I trusted him when he said he has already talked to his family about me and his feelings.I trusted him when he said he wish to marry me earlier so he could take me home,his home.I trusted him when he said he'd take care of me.I trusted him with all my instincts and consciousness,A leap of faith starting to build completely towards him.

"Are you ok?", a hand touched my arms shaking me from the train of thoughts causing me to look at my left and think of this girl who have helped and understood me from the day one.

A grateful smile appeared on my lips before nodding my head,my lips tight and words stuck in my throat due to all these emotions flowing inside.I was indeed grateful for meeting these people in my life,who held my hand to walk the right path.

After leaving the cafe,we reached this local Masjid to take my shahadah.We were at the middle of women's & men's section.The imam,zabir and some other guy sitting on the mat of men's section while we at the same mat in women's.The large curtain was the only thing that seperated men from seeing women in this Masjid.Now it is stretched to side for us to see.For me to take this shahadah.

The Masjid was quite,not a dust of creatures except for us at this time.It was after asr and everyone dispersed after the congregation.I waited in the back ignoring the curious glances of some people while hira and others prayed.Looking at them praying,I was craving to do same,to know how it was like praying like that.But I gulped the lump in my throat along with that wish consoling myself saying the first thing I'd do after I convert would be praying.

Zabir has talked to imam about me and when the imam saw me,the first thing he asked was if I was converting as per my will,wish and knowledge on this religion,I said yes before he gave me some papers to sign on.

After signing the papers I adjusted the dupatta over my head which hira put on my head on our way to the Masjid.I found a peace within sitting here.The peace I yearned for all these years.