Alex's Story

Chapter 11

I reversed out of the school and sped towards my house. I parked the car and got out, getting my bag with me. I unlocked the house and stepped in, and sat on the couch on decided to get on Flitter with my laptop. There was a lot of things said about me on there.

'Oh my gosh, Alex is such a slut.'

'Did you hear what she did with Christian.'

'I heard she got an STD from another guy too'

'She can literally kill herself, I wouldn't care'

'Maybe she should stop being a whore or a slut!'

'Alex Northern, If your reading this, I hope you kill yourself 'cause no one would care anyways,'

'All Alex Northern is is a fat, ugly, worthless, slut pig"

I shut my computer and let everything out. Why would Christian do this? And say sorry afterwards? Does he not understand what this kind of stuff does to people? I can't take it. Why does my life have to be like this? I know more people have it worst, but this is pretty bad too. I cried for a good 30 minutes before getting a text.

Hey I'm sorry, but I can't hang with u no more 'cause of all the things on Flitter. Sorry, but i dont want to b joked at 4 bein friends with u.
~Alice

Great, One more flippen thing messed up in my life. I took my computer and headed upstairs. I didn't want to see anyone or be near anyone. I know that there's no one in the house,but still. I sent Amy a text, 'Are u still my friend w/ all this goin on?'. I needed to know who my real friends are and aren't.

'Ya, dude wht happened with u nd Bran?' She asked referring to Brandon.

'Well I told him I didnt know my feelings 4 him and he got mad nd told me he didn't care 4 me no more, so idk ask him.' I sent back lying on my bed.

'Well He's pretty upset. He locked himself in his room nd wont come out :/' She sent back, now I feel really bad.

'I do love him, I just can't now.'

'Hes just inpatient. Well i g2g eat. ttyl babe xoxo'

'Ok bye luv u 2 boo' I sent my phone down and went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror long and hard. Am I too fat? Not pretty enough. I weighted myself on the scale. I was 145 pounds. That's a lot. I guess I can go on a diet to lose some of it. There was a depression quote that this girl posted on her Flitter. It read 'I Have The Universe In My Veins And Sometimes,I Need To Let It Out.'

That quote stuck out to me today. I know why I'm sad, but its hard to explain why I feel this way. Maybe the universe needs to come out for a little bit. Maybe the food that I've eaten needs to come out and maybe the food I don't eat, stays uneaten. That night I made a promise to myself. I would starve until I was 115 pounds and IF I do eat, It's coming back up. That night I unscrewed my pencil sharpener and got the razors out of it. That night I let everything out. The lies, hurt, neglect, rumors, EVERYTHING!

Call me what you want, But this is where my story starts on out, the night I saw the blood trickle down my wrists. My name is Alex Michelle Northern, and this is where my story starts.