Aftermath

17

Meadow

The flight back to California was rough. I was sleep deprived and my depression was getting worst.

When we finally arrived home I went straight to the bathroom. I nearly screamed when I saw the face looking back at me. My eyes were sunken and the bags under them were very visible.

I tried sleeping but I just can't. Every time I close my eyes, I picture Shiloh dying. My grandmother was being very helpful but I didn't have the strength to appreciate her.

A knock on the door grabbed my attention.

"Meadow are you okay baby?"

"I'm fine grandma, no need to worry."

"I'm here for you baby, you don't have to be strong."

"Thank you." I responded barely above a whisper. Strong? How the fuck do I be that?

I looked at myself one more time and decided I couldn't do this anymore.

Why was my life so hard? I thought losing my parents was the worst of it all but for them to be alive and acting the way that they are... and for Shiloh to...

Shiloh

Why did he have to go! Why couldn't he be here for me!

"Why!"

I screamed on the top of my lungs. We were just starting to be together and just like that. He's gone. I gripped the edge of the sink and looked at my reflection again.

I can't do this, I can't even sleep. I need to find something to stop the pain.

I open the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. I saw a lot of options for what I was about to do.

I whispered a prayer.

"God please forgive me for this, I know this is not the right way but please forgive me. I can't go on."

I saw different pills for different purposes. It didn't matter which one I chose, I knew if I took enough the job will get done.

"Meadow?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of my grandmother's voice.

"I'm okay grandma just taking a dump. I'll be awhile." I said adding a grunt for good measure.

"Too much information baby, just spray when you're done." She laughed slightly.

Before she walked away, she said.

"I'm here for you baby, I know it seem like the world is dark right now but I promise it'll get better."

"I love you grandma." I didn't know what else to say. I wanted her to know I loved her before I left.

"I love you too baby. When you finish stinking up my bathroom we can have a girls night like how we use to do it when you were younger." She said, her voice filled with excitement.

"Sounds like a plan." I croaked out, knowing that I would be gone and it's going to break her heart.

"See you when you get out funky." I could hear the smile in her voice when she walked away.

"See you." I said as tears formed in my eyes.

"God take care of my grandmother." I said while popping multiple pills in my mouth. I laid on the floor.

Now I can finally, Rest In Peace.

*

Heather

Meadow ass been in the bathroom for awhile. I didn't bother her because she is known for stinking up my bathroom.

I had everything settled. The popcorn was popped, the movie was set up. The nails polish was seated neatly by the towels and nails polish remover in case we messed up. I smiled at my work.

Getting up to go to the bathroom I knocked on the door slightly.

"Come on funky everything is ready."

No response.

"Meadow Amari Sanchez, you known for long and stinky poops but this time takes the cake." I said while laughing knowing she was probably too embarrassed to have a come back.

However when she didn't respond at all I was a little worry. I tried the knob. It didn't bulge. I began to panic.

"Meadow!?"

I slammed my body repeatedly into the door and broke the door off the hinges. I saw my grandbaby lying still on the floor with a empty pill bottle in her hand.

"Oh no no no no no." I bent down to see if she was still breathing.

She wasn't.

"Meadow! Why baby why!?" I screamed rushing to get to my cell phone.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My grandbaby took a lot of pills! I need an ambulance!"

After I told the woman my address I went back to lay down beside meadow's Lifeless body.

"You'll be okay baby, they are going to come and get you breathing again."

I played with her soft hair.

"You got hair like your father, a perfect Mixture of the two."

"Why did you try to leave me Meadow? We could've got through this together."

When I didn't get a respond I kept talking.

"I lost your grandfather but I didn't lose myself. Why couldn't you hold on for me baby."

I could hear the ambulance now.

"Here they come baby. They are going to save you."

I just want to say to anyone who's thinking about committing suicide, it's not worth it. I know life can be crazy and everything seems like it's not going to get better but it will. Trust me when I say this, you have something and People to live for!

If anyone needs to talk I'm here and you can also call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Also, listen to logic's song. He's explaining why Suicide is never the answer.

💙

This is just a story but suicide is never the answer no matter how hard life gets. Keep pushing 😘