Aftermath

25

I was having nightmares again. They would always be of me fighting someone. Rather if it's my mother, my father, Rodney, or Shiloh. However, this time I was fighting myself. I'll wake up covered in sweat, dry heaving and lashing out. I don't know what it means, but it scares me.

"What's wrong Dow?"

I flinched at Shiloh's nickname for me. I didn't have the guts to tell him, but it was ugly as hell.

Looking him over, I saw his perfect face staring back at me. I took in his pearly whites, his almond shaped eyes, and his well sculpted nose. It made me wonder what our child would look like.

I was distracted by the bags at the door. I officially moved in with him. I was suppose to be Ecstatic, but losing my grandmother was the worst pain I ever felt in my life. I thought it would be seeing my father die or killing my mother. But, seeing the light fade from her eyes made me feel hopeless. Thinking about it caused fresh salty tears to fall from my eyes.

"come here shawty."

Ever since I moved in I felt like a burden. Constantly crying like a wimp, and eating like I've been starving and left in the desert. I could hear him calling me again but I didn't move a inch.

"Dow come here."

I cried harder.

"What's wrong?"

"That nickname is horrible."

He chuckled, causing me to glare at him.

"Is that why you're crying?"

I contemplated the question. There were so many reasons for me to cry, can I just pick one?

"Dow-"

I cut my eyes at him causing him to put his hands up.

"Meadow." He began rubbing his neck like he was nervous and carefully choosing his next words.

"Look you know I ain't good with touchy shit. But, I got you baby. I got us."

"How? We're so young! We both have no parents, we need guidance, and money and-"

"Look at me!"

I instinctively closed my mouth. Putting my head down.

"Are you saying I'm a failure because my dead beat ass father decided he wanted nothing to do with me!?

"No I-"

"Are you saying I can't do this because he didn't want me!?" I felt his breathe on my face as he got closer. I was beyond scared, I felt my palms getting sweaty and my throat tightening.

" Because I never had a father doesn't mean I can't take care of my child. Fuck him for never wanting me and fuck you for doubting me!"

The weight on the bed shifted as he began to put his clothes on.

Is he leaving? He can't leave me!

"Shiloh" rI reached out to him, but he snatched his arm away.

"I need to clear my head." He began walking out but turned around to say one last thing.

"You know how hard I worked to be nothing like my father?" When he seen I wasn't going to answer he continued.

"Of course I made horrible decisions when I was younger but I tried like hell to change. So for you to sit up here and tell me I'm not good enough fucking hurts. I ain't no bitch but that right there hurts and that's all you been doing lately Dow. You been hurting me shawty."

Next thing I know, I hear the door slam causing me to instinctively reach for my stomach. I began to cry again, snot formed as the tears flowed.

I was truly alone now.

*

Every waking hour I was up. Eating mostly, crying over sad scenes in movies, and worrying about Shiloh.

I called him five... six... no twenty times and every call went to voice mail.

My egos was having a field day.

Call him.

Find him and cut him.

Cry.

Slap him!

Cry

Where the fuck is he!?

I called him again.

"Yo. If you're hearing this I can't take your call right now. Please call back at another time."

I was becoming completely delirious. I could have swore I saw a ghost.

The waiting part is worrisome, slowly driving me insane.

So, I did what any logical person would do. I got my shit and was heading out of the door when I heard keys jingling.

I waited, biting the inside of my cheek so I can unleash all my frustration out on him.

But it wasn't Shiloh that walked through the door.

It was....

My aunt. I was so confused.

"How the hell did you get a key and why are you here!"

"Slow your roll niece, I'm here to help."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Oh!" She said with notorious grin.

"This key?" She said with a grin. Making me more furious by the minute.

I can feel my brows go up.

"Umm yes bitch that key."

She chuckled.

"I knew I liked you. You're my favorite."

"I'm your only niece so try again. Why are you here and how did you get a key?"

"I'm apart of Shilohs plan."

I looked at her to elaborate. I wasn't giving out free information, I needed to know everything so I can act accordingly.

"To get Rodney locked up. Or something like that I wasn't really listening."

I crossed my arms, stepping closer.

"And? What about it?"

"Shiloh's wanted to get the ball rolling. He's pissed at you by the way."

I cut my eyes at her for sliding that in.

"But, Rodney doesn't know that he lives here so we're starting to put the pieces together to get that motherfucker put in jail for killing my sister."

I was shocked by this new information.

"He did what?"

Seeing the shock written on my face she moved to give me a hug.

I was so shocked by her revelation that I let her hug me.

"Oh honey didn't you know? Shiloh told me he killed your mother. It's okay we'll get that bastard one way or another."

After processing this information, I grinned slightly.

Shiloh was a smart motherfucker.