A life less ordinary ||~~Elax/Elmax~~||

Awkward questions

After the film, they both went to their respective homes. Max, as usual, needed to be home pretty early as her mom was a complete worrier, and she didn't want to risk pissing Billy off if she was late.

Now she was alone, El allowed her mind to drift, processing the events of the past few days. For the first 12 or so years of her life, her days had been filled with routine, every day she was told what to do, every day spent within the confines of the lab, and so she had very little to think about in her time alone, and she was only ever really alone during her allocated sleep time.

Lying back on her bed, gazing into nothingness, her mind drifted to the same thing it always did nowadays, the same person, Max. She thought about the dance lesson Max had given her, about the way Max's hands had felt on her, the way she felt when they were so close to each other, and she came to the realization that she liked it, all of it, she cherished every moment she spent with Max, every moment except the one where she lied to her about why she looked away, she still couldn't work that one out. Running her hands through her hair, she closed her eyes tight, unable to fully understand what she was feeling. She wanted to ask someone, but for some reason she didn't want to admit these feelings to anyone else, they frightened her in a way. Dammit Max, what am I going to do? she asked herself.

She fell asleep eventually, her dreams again unsettled. She'd gone to sleep thinking of Max, and how to distance herself from her feelings, but her dream betrayed that idea, showing her instead an alternative path, one where she confronts the feelings, confronts her. She smiled in her sleep, reflecting the happiness in her dream.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Karen had gone up to check on her, worried about the recent nightmares, and saw her smile. She turned to leave, content that El was going to sleep well, but was stopped in her tracks by the shaking feeling starting in her feet and working its way through her whole body. Steadying herself against the door frame she could feel the whole house shake, she turned to look at El and saw a grimace on her face and her body thrashing around, kicking the bed covers onto the floor. "N...no...NO!" she heard El shout, before sitting bolt upright, eyes wide open. As she did so, Karen felt the tremors stop.

"El, it's ok honey, its ok" Karen said, holding her tight, feeling El's tears through her top. "Try to go back to sleep, it's late, we can talk in the morning." El sniffed and nodded, settling back into bed, trying to ignore the feeling of dread inside.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The next morning, El woke early, tired from a restless night, unable to remember the nightmare as usual. She did, however, remember what she had been contemplating before sleep.

"Mike?"

"Yeah" he replied distractedly whilst looking for his other shoe, "dammit, where the hell is it?" he muttered to himself.

"Um...can I...can I ask you something?"

Mike looked up at her from his position on the floor, finally noticing the uncertain expression that she wore. "Yeah, ask me anything" he said.

"This might sound weird..."

"I think we've cornered the market on weird" Mike replied with a smirk, "shoot."

El smiled, "ok, at school, when you get changed for sports..." she started. Mike had no idea where this question was going, "so, do people, like, look at each other?"

Mike just sat there and stared at her with his mouth slightly open, "what?" he finally managed.

"Oh, um, like in the girl's locker room people just walk around with not much on and people look but don't seem very interested..."

"Riiiiiiight...and?"

"So, if there was someone who looked away, on purpose, then what would that mean?" she asked.

"Ummm, I guess they could just be shy...or feel uncomfortable, like self-conscious" he reasoned, "it's not something I've ever really thought about, sorry."

"No, that makes sense" El said, still looking thoughtful.

"Is there anything else?" asked Mike, really hoping this conversation was over.

"So, what if a person only avoids looking at one particular person...what does that mean?" she asked.

"W...why do you ask?" replied Mike, buying himself time to think of an answer.

"So" continued El, ignoring his question, "when you and Dustin and Lucas and Will change you can look, because you're friends and comfortable with each other?"

Mike was now bright red, "El...I...uh...yeah, I guess...but..."

"But what?" said El.

"Look, I guess there's like unspoken rules, like its ok to look if you're not...'interested'...but if you are 'interested' then you shouldn't." He saw that he had just confused El, "I don't know how else to explain...ok, first of all, maybe look is the wrong word, it's weird to look full stop, but it's ok to 'see'. Sooo, I have no interest in seeing Lucas with no clothes on, so I can 'look' in that general direction, it wouldn't be weird, but for example if I was interested in seeing, say, Will with no clothes, like I liked him, then I shouldn't look, it would be invading his privacy, like I'd be checking him out..." Mike trailed off, "sorry, I don't think I explained that at all well."

El looked down thoughtfully, and for the first time in a very long time she contemplated trying to read his thoughts.

"So, uh, why...why are you asking, El? This doesn't just come out of nowhere" Mike said, for his own reasons paranoid that one of the boys had brought up the subject.

It was El's turn to try and stall for time, "um, I heard one of the other girls mention it in the changing room...I didn't know what they meant."

"Not that I'm ever unwilling to help you, but why didn't you ask Max...or Nancy?" or anyone else on Earth he thought.

"Oh, uhhh, it happened the other day and I kept forgetting to ask..." she said, praying he wouldn't question her any more. She would have regretted asking him completely, but his words had confirmed a possibility that she hadn't previously been sure existed.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~*