Daddy's little girl

30

"Atticus"

"Go away"

"Come on, whatever that asshole said doesn't change what me or AJ or even Martin think of you"

"I said go away!"

"Just at least let me in"

I've had myself locked in my bedroom for the last 3 hours balling my eyes out. About an hour ago i had grabbed my razor blade from my bathroom and  was fiddling it in my fingers. I'd done self-harm in the past. I had the slashing scars to prove it. But this pain was so much worse than why i ever did it in the past.

When i first cut, it was the night my parents told me that they were divorcing. I loved them together and we were a happy family and my vision wasn't for us to break up. Yet we did.

As River continues to mumble words to me i begin to swipe the blade against my arm. Not enough force to pierce skin, but enough to feel it brushing against it.

I take a deep breath in and close my eyes before adding pressure and slashing it across my wrist. My eyes begin to water as the surprisingly good feeling comes back. I open my eyes to see the single cut i just made slowly begin to drip with blood.

If River knew what i was doing he would kick the goddamn door down.

I let myself take out my pain and slash myself a couple more times before dropping the blade and curling into a ball.

I didn't cut down my forearm to where i would kill myself. I did it longways so i could feel the pain without ending my life in the process. I wasn't ready to die.

yet

I look at my arm to see it's stained my shirt with blood. The cuts were swollen up and bright red. The blade beside me had trickles of blood against its sharp edge.

I start to hear River banging on my door again so swiftly pick the blade up in my hand and keep cutting

slash

slash

slash

slash

BOOM

Before i'm able to make another cut against my skin River is standing in my room with the door about to fall off his hinges. AJ and Martin soon come in behind him panting.

When they see me their face drops. I cover my face in my hands and River slowly pries the blade from my fingers.

"What the hell have you done Atticus?" He mumbles pulling my arms from my face and examining them.

His face pangs of hurt as he sees my bloody cut up arm and blood stained shirt.

"We gotta take her to the hospital" AJ blurts, "She looks like she's lost a lot of blood"

It was now that i was believing what AJ was saying. I was starting to feel lightheaded and the small pool of blood by my side was only getting better. I was bleeding a lot.

Soon i sense everyone moving all around me. Rushing and calling 911. I start to feel more lighthearted and my eyes start to roll to the back of my head.

"Hey, Atti! Stay with me, Stay with me" River states holding my face in his hands. I try, i really try my best to open my eyes and look at him. I see white behind my eyes before the room goes dark.

---

Rivers POV//

"Is she dead??" AJ screeches rushing over to Attis side

"No, she just passed out from blood loss" I groan continuing to wrap the gauze around her wrist to lower the amount of blood able to get on the floor.

"Ok, ambulance is outside" Martin announces looking up from his phone

"Great" I grunt before picking her up in my arms bridal style and starting to walk to the front door.

From then on everything was hectic. The sirens, the bright flashing lights, the rushing nurses, the needles and the blood.

But one thought kept rising through my head

please be okay

----

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