Engineering Moon and the Crazy Doctor [Completed]

26. Why

If all the reasons, doubts, fears, and denials were ignored, could I finally answer all the questions I have? To put names to all emotions that are boiling inside? Those emotions that have been chasing me the very moment I saw him, but reasons had told me, it's impossible to happen; making me doubts myself due to insecurities; heightening my fears of the unknown; until bringing me to a constant denial of my own feelings.

If we ignored everything, would it cease all the bafflement and finally reach the end of the maze I am in?

Once and for all, I just want to wear my heart on my sleeve. Forgetting all the facades I have, and stop running away from the whole nine yards of unfamiliarity. Because I don't want to lose what this freaking mind and heart have been shouting for quite some time.

I don't exactly know when, where, and how did it happen.

 Are you supposed to discern it when you fall for someone? It would just catch you off guard like a bullet to its target. Fast and deadly. Once you've realized it, you're already bleeding badly to the point of untreatable. Nonetheless, you still want to keep on going, to see how far it will take you...

I don't exactly know when, where, and how did it happen. But I guess, I know perfectly the answer to Why.

Forth has always been a good friend, and a drinking buddy. Popular with all the girls just like our best friend Phana. With that rugged looks, flawless chivalry, and enchanting gift, who wouldn't get attracted with this man? I even used to tell that he should have hailed as the campus moon to annoy my best friend, and well, in an honest answer, because I do believe he has every right to.

I am not saying that my best friend wasn't fit for the title, however isn't we tend to get biased to the person who has a special space in your heart? I just used to tease him, not knowing, or should I say, denying the fact (for that's where I was good at) that I am already by his hook.

I was a big time flirt, I admit it. But, as time passed by, I was flirting to let the women off him. Have I mentioned how fucking gentleman he is? He has no idea how to reject a woman. Sometimes, his subtle, kind rejection could even make a woman fall for him big time. And he's completely oblivious to it. Therefore, I would do the honor of chasing them away for him with an ulterior motive I haven't realized until now.

He's appealing, in a way he wasn't aware of.

He's charming, in every odd things he does.

He's amazing, with that angelic voice and sweet nothings.

He's perfect, with all those flaws and imperfections.

And he's the only person, I haven't expecting of making me feel so complete...

The only order to this muddle mind, the serenity to this clutter heart, and the answer to all my questions in life.

Never in my wildest dream would I have this strong kind of feeling with someone. Enough to forget who I suppose to be was.

Messing around is my expertise, until he came and render my heart.

Heck! I am channeling my inner poet I never thought I have. 

A/N

The video is too beautiful for me not to share. :) full credits to the owner. 💕💕💕

This chapter is meant to be short as it's just Beam's monologue.