Ruin S.M

Chapter 17

Previously on Ruin

His eyes flickered from my eyes down to my lips.
I could feel my heart beating fast but it instantly stopped as soon as our lips touched.

He pulled back and looks into my eyes.
"Wow" he mumbles smiling at me.

"Yeah" I reply nodding my head but  little did Cameron Alexander Dallas know that I didn't feel any sparks.

*******

Today my mom came to visit us from Nashville.
Currently we're sitting in the living room watching a movie and eating popcorn while the boys went out to play basketball and I wasn't planning on watching Johnson lose.

"So how was Nashville without me?" I asked.
"It ok I heard you're a model now" she smiled.
"Yeah I had my first photo shoot for Forever 21 some days ago"

"That's nice so do you finally have a boyfriend because I know Jack won't come far with dating?" she smirked.

"No but I have a date on Wednesday"
Clapping her hand she looked up.
"I always knew you and Shawn would"
"Let me stop you right there it's not Shawn"

Raising an eyebrow she looked at me weirdly.
"I thought you liked Shawn you guys were inseparable" she exclaimed.

"Shawn Mendes is an asshole"

"Why that?"
"He doesn't know me he forgot who I am" I smiled outside but it broke my heart inside.

"Are you sure that you're talking about Shawn" she asked which annoyed the shit out of me.

"Mom how many Shawn's do you know?" I asked.

"Well I had a boy"
"Forget Shawn it's Cameron I'm going on a date with Cam" I smiled.

"You and Cam ,since when do you like him?"
"I don't know" I mumble under my breath

"Is it because of Shawn?" she asks taking a sip of her Capri Sun.
Clueless I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What does Shawn have to do with this?" I asked confused.

"You don't like Cameron I know it is it because he and Shawn look a like?" she questions.

I have to admit they look quite a like but I would never do that would i ?

"What's that suppose to mean that I can't live without Shawn?"
"No God I didn't mean that it's just that" she started but i rudely interrupted her.

"No I know what you mean
Shawn has been there for me and all that and I know everyone thinks that I'd be better with Shawn and that I've completely changed but I don't care" I get pretty defensive and yell

"Hunny I know as your mom I see it in your eyes" she tried to touch me but I back off.

"As my mother you're not my mother.
You adopted me don't forget and just for your information Shawn Mendes is dead to me he forgot who I am?"

By now tears were running down my face.
I walk up into my room and lock the door.

I pick up everything I see and throw them against the wall.

My body shivers in fright I'm having a panic attack.
I'm losing strength and my vision is getting blurry.

My head is spinning and my hands are heavy

I crawl into my bed breathing heavily trying  but I find no luck.
Crying I grab my inhaler made for panic attacks and inhale the the spray inside.

Still a bit shaken I lean back on my bed and take a nap.
I feel someone wrap his arms around my body.
Taking in the scent of his cologne I smile.

"Was is that bad?" he asks
"Yeah can we go to a therapist or psychologist" I ask Matt looking into his eyes.
He sighs and smiles
"Sure"