Self-Titled

Chapter 6

Josh's POV

Well that was embarrassing. Me and Tyler walk to the mess hall, and grabbed sloppy Joe's. After we grabbed our food, we sat down at the table closest to the door. The tables were made of a nice red wood, and the chairs were a match. We sat next to each other.
As I was about to bite into my sandwich, I hear a voice cough behind me. I turn around to see a group of three girls. I just stare at them. One of them said "Um... Could you like, beat it? We sit here. We sit here every year." I just look at them, a little frightened. I look at Tyler, who is clearly ignoring them. She raises an eyebrow "Can you like not hear, cause if you can't, what the hell are you doing in band camp?"
Tyler smiles and sets his Sloppy Joe down and turns around in his seat. He folds his hands together, still smiling, but this time a fake, almost like he's planning something, smile. He looks up at her and says "Cassandra! Lovely as ever? How's it been?"
She frowns and crosses her arms "I'd be better if you were to walk your happy ass to any other table."
He sighs, still smirking. He then whispers "And still a bitch." I laugh, mostly because I like never hear Tyler curse, but when he does, it's hilarious.
Now she's fuming. "Get up, Tyler! I know you like to be a douchebag to everyone, but if you could leave, it would be gratefully appreciated. So march yourself to that table, Jerk!"
He laughs "No can do.... Ya see," he motions on the table "I sat down, I took a bite of my sandwich, I drank my drink. So this means I am comfortable, and you are still standing, making your food go bad. I could get up and move, but yah see, my best friend Josh is comfortable too. But if you still want to sit here, we can make room! We are great company, I promise!" He winks at her.
She is so frustrated. She yells "Fine! Have fun, asshole!" She struts away.
Tyler, now pleased with himself, turns back to his tray and continues eating. I start laughing hysterically. He looks at me and smirks, then says "What?"
I smile "What?! You-She-Uhh..... What?! That was the most hilarious thing I've ever thing."
Tyler chuckles, "Yeah yeah, now eat your sandwich..." We both laugh, until dinner is over.
We both walk back to the cabin. Still no more roommates, thank goodness! Me and Tyler lay on the bed and turn on the TV. Luckily, there is WiFi here so we turn on the TV and turn on Netflix. Tyler puts in his account information and says "Don't tell anyone, okay?"
I laugh "Okay, your secrets safe with me." But this night I can't help but look at Tyler differently.
His eyes, dark brown, like chocolate. His pink tinted lips, and his curly hair, but not too curly, just on top. He defended me at dinner, he cared for me when I was having the panic attack and he has treated me with affection, not in a way he treats anyone else. He makes me feel special. I wouldn't say love, but I think I have feelings for hi-NO! HE IS YOUR ONLY FRIEND! YOU CAN'T LOSE HIM! If I make any move, he could never talk to me ever again. I can't even THINK about him like that! But I can't help it.
He looks at me, his chocolate eyes, concerned "Josh? You kinda zoned out... You okay? And don't you dare say fine!"
I can't tell him, even if his lips say things so perfectly, making his words fall together smoothly. I snap out of my thoughts, and I laugh "Yeah..." I grab the back of my neck "I was just feeling bad about not texting my mom, but if I answer, she will blow up my phone.. AND I do not mean metaphorically, quite literally!"
He puts his arm around my shoulders, making a shiver go down my spine, I guess he felt it, because his words were filled with actually worry "Josh? Are you okay, you have been off all day, but especially now?"
I give up "Tyler, do you know what it feels like to realize, basically, that if you do one thing, yeah it might be something great, but it might also mess up everything?" He sighs and looks forward "Yah. Quite recently, actually. And it blows." He smiles, a fake smile. I look down at my lap, holding back a tear. Why do I act like a child? Tyler moves him arm back and puts it on my shoulder.
He looks me straight in my eyes. His faux smile, now a frown "Josh.... Look, I will never be 'manly', but even if I was, 'manly' people, don't hide their problems. Don't pretend that nothing wrong and that you're fine, you aren't fine. I have problems..."
I scoff and say "Tyler!? You literally are always so confident, you aren't anxious about what will happen if you do something!?" Tyler removes his hand from my shoulder and looks forward and whispers "Is that what you really think?"
I feel myself getting anxious again. "I've always felt like that. Talking to people, being around people, being alone, I have to think, rethink, redo, because I feel too anxious not to. I feel like I'm letting people down, or that I'm not doing good enough." I remember that I just met him, and stopped there.
Tyler looks at me seriously. "Josh, if there's one thing I want you to never forget, it's that you are always going to be good enough."