Self-Titled

Chapter 22

Josh's POV

His words hit me like a baseball bat. I have never wanted to take something back this much.
"Josh, I've been inside because I'm depressed! Most mornings, I don't want to do anything! Even though my parents have spent so much money trying to make me happy. Ya know, I knew this would happen, you don't understand. Just..just go."

I'm a monster... He was hurting so much and I wasn't there. I-I- Why would I do such a thing to someone I love so much? "Tyle-" He cuts me off saying "No! Josh, I will not take the bullshit anymore! You don't get to 'Tyler?' me and everything be fine! It's not fine! How could not have seen me hurtin- OH WAIT.... I know the answer. You were with CASSANDRA! A bully, a bitch and someone that decided that others people self-esteem is insignificant... THAT is the person you chose over me. I've been NOTHING but good to you! Have I EVER hurt you?! No! Because I LOVE you! But I can't be with someone that doesn't recognize my existence. Someone that can't care about ANYONE but their DAMN SELF! Get the HELL out of here!"

Tears well in my eyes as I grab my backpack and a pillow as I walk ou-actually it was more of a run. A run away from the pain, away from the hurt, from the disappointment and terror I caused. I scan the area, looking for a place to hide.

As I look around I see Cassandra wandering. She sees me and greets me with a warm smile, then realized that I'm not returning the gesture. I immediately start briskly walking away as she shouts my name. "Josh? Josh? Josh?! What the hell-JOSH?!" She then catches up with me and turns me around. I assume my expression isn't the kindest, because when she turns me around.... Her face turns pale and she looks scared. Her hands still holding my shoulders, she says "J-Josh, what's wrong? You were ignoring me?!" I close my eyes, trying to contain my anger. I then open my eyes and respond "Really? "What's wrong?", are you actually kidding me?" Her face still scared, mixing with confusion "I-I just want to know why you are ignoring me."

I scoff and say "Give it a break with the nice girl act..... Cassandra! We all know that you are just using me! But why? Do you want to get in my pants or what? Because that seems like the only reason you aren't awful to me!" She looks down while tapping her foot impatiently "J-Josh.... Do you really think I just want to have sex with you?" I cross my arms. "I don't see any other explanation."

She starts to tear up, leaving a tear stain on her face. She takes her hands of my shoulder and says with her hand in her hair "Great! Fucking Great! The only friend I've ever REALLY had thinks I'm a slut..." She looks at me and says "Look... I'm not a nice person! You know that! But I don't try to do it! And I don't just have sex with everybody! I'm not a WHORE okay?! If anything I try not to be a bitch! I don't WANT to have sex with you, I WANT a friend, dumbass! I have n-I didn't- I just-" she looks down and starts to cry. "It's bad enough other people think I'm a whore, but YOU too?! Wow, I have shitty taste in friends. And I'm sorry for hurting Gabby. I was awful. Is that what you want? Or your boyfriend?"

I look at her, telling her with my eyes to stop herself. The tears begin to form again "I-I-I might n-not have a-a- Um... T-Ty and I might not be-" she then moves in, giving me a hug. But then I realize, this is exactly what Tyler said. I care about her more then him. She then pulls away and wipes the tears from my face "If you want me to, I will apologize to both Tyler and Gabby. I need to anyways, I was an awful person." I nod my head and smiling. A fake smile. The kind of smile you make when you have to take a picture with someone you don't know. The kind that covers up that confusion or sadness.

She grabs my hand and leads me to my cabin. I wait a couple feet behind her. She knocks and Tyler opens the door. He looks at her and then me and says "What do you want?" She twiddles her thumbs and pulls on her sleeves. "We need to talk, Tyler."