The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️

Ch. 2

I tuned out after listening to what Jaxon had said about me. That's why I didn't know that they continued talking about me till the end of the period. I only found out about it when Jaxon took me out later that day. He took me out to ice cream, and that's when it all happened.

"So, Harley, give me information on that bastard Hunter Douglas." He said. It shocked me. He was never straight to the point. He usually said a few sweet words before finally asking the question...

"I, uhm, I..." I stuttered in shock

"Oh come on. Can't you do this little favor for your crush?" He smirked. My eyes widen in shock and my heart clenched painfully in my chest.

"Wh-what?" I manage to stutter out

"Harley, it's so obvious. You're such an innocent girl when it comes to guys. That's why it was so easy to get some information out of you. The guys also pointed out how painfully obvious it is. They said that they always caught you day dreaming about me. It's understandable though, all girls have a crush on me." He said cockily. His ego grew larger with every word that came out of his mouth.

"If you tell me the information, I might just consider dating you." He said. My mouth dropped. He'd date me because of that? Are you serious?! I finally saw his true colors. I knew that the way he talked to me was a facade, but I didn't want to believe it. I don't know why he's suddenly acting like this, but I don’t like it.

I stood up abruptly. I blocked off the feeling on my heart. I knew that this would be happening soon.  He would hurt me soon enough, but my heart never listened. It had a mind of it's own.

"You want some information on Hunter Douglas? He's a guy who actually loves his girlfriend very much. He treats her and all women with respect. He's a gentleman and is NOT egoistic. He's not a player or an asshole. He's a nice guy who stood up against you because he knows that the girl he loves has her eyes on you. Hunter Douglas is a nice guy and nothing like the asshole that is seated in front of me." I grab my things and rush out of there.

I didn't know what to feel. On one hand, I was proud that I stood up against him. I stood by my mind this time, and not by my heart. On the other hand, I felt like bawling my eyes out. He knew that I liked him and he uses it to his advantage. He became this egoistical jerk. He showed me his true rotten colors, and I'm actually glad he did. This one moment could help me completely move on from him.

I ran back home and slammed the door shut. I rushed to the restroom, and sank down to the floor sobbing. It hurt. It hurt so much. It's not a crush or an infatuation. I really loved him, well, the fake him. I loved another one of his fake personalities. I loved the way he made me feel.

But today he didn't make me feel special, important or loved. Today, he made me feel pathetic. He made me feel like a gullible  little girl, which was true. I am a gullible girl.

I looked at myself in the mirror and began to question. What was wrong with me? Why can't I get ANYONE to like me? No one even wants to be my friend. Was it how I looked?

Most of the people in my school were blondes or brunettes. I was the only ginger. We used to be four, but the other two graduated and the other transferred schools. I had wavy ginger colored hair, and my eyes were light blue. I was very pale. I looked like I never go out in the sun, and I do, but not often. I go out at night only. I know that's not healthy, but there's too many people in the morning. I don't know what my body is like. I guess it's average? I don't really know.

Why does it feel like everyone doesn't like me?

Why can't I make any friends?

What's wrong with me?

Will I always be alone?

Will I die alone?

Am I going to graduate high school with no interesting story to tell my kids?

Am I going to have the most boring high school life ever?

Am I never gonna be happy?

And I continued to question myself throughout the entire night. The last thing I remember was crying myself to sleep on the bathroom floor.

//////////////////