The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️

Chapter 62. [END]

I was lucky enough to have the entire weekend to mourn the loss of what never was. I let my tears turn into waterfalls and let my friends hold me in silence.

They still disagreed over what I should do next. Mali thinks I should forgive him while Emma thinks otherwise. In the end, however, Emma was right.

This was the final straw. I'm done crying over him and hurting over him. My heart has no idea what it wants. It's unstable and doesn't full understand that were are other better men out there.

For now, my mind was in charge while my heart locked itself away to mourn. My mind was set on ignoring Jaxon the entire day and focusing on finishing up the school year problem free.

But when was that ever an option in high school?

*

There was weird tight-loose feeling in my chest by the time last period rolled around. I hadn't seen Jaxon all day and it made me feel relieved and slightly disappointed at the same time.

I sat on my desk with the nth sigh of the day. The day was almost over and everything had gone smoothly so far. Right now, the teacher was talking about one last project for us to do before the school year would be over again.

It was a partnered project and I didn't know anyone in the class, so I kept silent. I'd be fine with whoever was left. That's why I got up to my teacher at the end of the class and asked about my partner.

"It's me." A dried husky voice spoke up from the doorway before my teacher could respond.

I tensed up and closed my eyes.
'It was just me imagining things. This is just part of the whole grieving thing.' I foolishly thought to myself.

But I wasn't. I turned my head and saw Jaxon there in a huge hoodie and jeans looking like he was dead where he stood. My mind was blurred from reality and imagination as I took him in.

His eyes looked to be as puffy and red as mine were when I had no makeup but he had the addition of dark under eyes to complete his look. His hair was oily and stuck up all kinds of ways and his hoodie looked dirty with stains.

I couldn't look away even as the teacher confirmed that Jaxon was the only one left without a partner. I had to blink repeatedly to make sure it was him that was looking back at me with blank emotionless eyes.

Everything blurred in my head from what happened next, but I next found myself being pulled back onto a sidewalk -barely missing the honk and yell coming from a zooming car.

My breathing was fast, but I don't remember whether it was because of the car, the run, or Jaxon. I had tumbled onto a touch that was so painfully familiar that it burned underneath my skin.

"I know you hate me, but you don't just go running into traffic, you idiot." His voice rumbled underneath his breath

"Get away from me." I managed to let out

"I can't do that. I really...I need to talk to you. Properly."

"Please, Jaxon, I can't look at you right now." I was already crying. Why have I wasted so much tears on this man?

"Harley...Please, hear me out. One last. Hear me out one last time." He was begging. Did Jaxon ever beg? I don't think I've ever heard him so desperate.

And I don't think I've ever been so tired. My body ached and slumped over in his arms. He held me close and silently- taking me...somewhere. I don't know anymore.
...

What I did know is that I woke up once more feeling like I got the best sleep in a while. I wonder if it had something to do with Jaxon sitting next to me- the familiar feeling of him lulling me into a sense of safety that made me think everything was okay again. I don't know how to feel about being so well rested while he looks like he's been stressing until the sun went down.