The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️

Ch. 4

I see Lennon waiting for me by the entrance of the cafeteria. He was talking with the new girl. They looked really close, and I didn't want to interrupt. I'd probably end up third wheeling...as always. I sighed and pretended not to see them. I walked to the cafeteria with my head looking down at my phone. I felt a hand grip my arm and turn me around.

"Oye. Where do you think you're going?"  He asks with his eyesbrow raised

"Oh there you are!!" I say

"Yeah. You wouldn't see because your head is looking at the floor." He says. I sheepishly smile at him in response.

"This is my best friend by the way. Emma this is Harley. Harley this is Emma." He introduces us. I smile and stick out my hand for her to shake.

"Hi, I'm Harley"

"Emma" She quietly says as she shakes my hand. Her eyes were trained to the floor.

We make our way into the cafeteria and take our spot in line. Lennon was the most talkative out of the three of us. Emma was the shyest. I was in the middle. Emma and I were listening to Lennon tell a story about a party he went to when two arms wrapped around my waist. I tense up immediately and felt the familiar pounding of my chest. I pushed away the feelings of my heart and focused on the anger I had towards him.

"Let go of me, Jaxon." I say. I hear him chuckle and let me go.

"Awww why not, babe?" He smirks at me

"You're so cocky. Do you still think that I like you? After I've seen your true colors, there's no way I'm going to like you. I'm not gonna be another pathetic fool that falls for your sweet talk. Good luck on trying to get revenge now, babe" It was my turn to smirk at him. My heart protested against what I was saying, but I will not ever be another victim of his ever again.

I noticed some people staring at us. As I walked away from him, I heard murmurs everywhere.

'Holy shit. Did she actually just say "no" to Jaxon Parker?'

'What did she mean by revenge?'

'What the hell is going on?'

'I am so confused right now'

'I heard they were together'

'No way! Jaxon would never go for someone as boring as her'

And the gossiping starts. I go out of the cafeteria and take a seat under the big apple tree. Before our school, this place used to be a farm. This apple tree is the sole survior of the farm. I don't know why they never cut it down, but I'm thankful they didn't. It's my spot. This is where I stay most of the time.

I close my eyes and take deep breathes. I could hear footsteps coming by, making me snap ny eyed open. My shoulders sag in relief when I see that it's just Lennon and Emma.

"What was that back there? Your ex?" He questions

"No. He's just a pathetic cocky wannabe asshole badboy that I used to have a huge crush on" I roll my eyes at the thought

"Oh...so what happened?" He asks

"It's a long and boring story." I say, not wanting to talk about it.

"We hav-"

"We brought you some food. You weren't able to get yours." Emma interrupts Lennon.

"Thanks" I smile gratefully at her. She smiles back at me for the first time.

They sit down beside me and Lennon starts blabbing on and on once again. I got to know Emma better, and she's really nice. They both came from the same school which is why they're best friends.

"Who's your best friend, Harley?" Emma asks

"I don't have one" I shrug

"What? Why?" They ask

I shrug again. I didn’t want them to know how much of a loner I was. We heard the bell ring, so we packed up our stuff. Emma and I waved a pouting Lennon goodbye and headed off to our class.

We sat down by the window. As we were talking, I felt someone sit in front of us. They stared right at us, making us look up at them. I sighed in annoyance when I see who it was.

"Come on Emma, Let's seat somewhere else." I stood up and grabbed my stuff.

"Wait!" Reece said while grabbing the other end of my bag. Kaden sat next to him staring at me. I raised my eyebrows at them.

"We wanted to apolo-"

"If you're gonna apologize for that bastard, then stop. If he actually wanted forgiveness, he should say sorry himself." I sat back down in my seat.

"I think I know why you guys keep saying sorry. Jaxon is so stupid that he doesn't know what I have the power to do." It feels like my heart is slapping me for talking shit about Jaxon.

"You know that I know your dirty little secrets. I could tell one loud mouth and the whole school will know before lunch. I could also tell the police. I could ruin you three, but Jaxon doesn't seem to know that. You two do though. That's why you keep apologizing for him. Am I right? Or did I hear the conversation you two had in the back of the school wrong?"

The two of them look at me in shock. I smile a fake sweet smile before grabbing Emma's hand and taking us to a new seat.

Even though I know that I could do all that, I would never. I can't do that. I know how to push away my heart, but it gets it's way sometimes. It's unhealthy to deny what I want. I know that. But it's also unhealthy to like someone like Jaxon. He'll just keep hurting me.

I just have to accept the fact that nobody will ever love me.

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