The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️

Ch. 14

All my life I've felt empty and alone. When Jaxon and the rest came into my life, I felt like I could actually be friends with them. I felt complete with them. I guess I was wrong.

At this moment, I don't feel alone. I don't feel empty. In fact, I don't feel anything at all. I'm numb. At this point, my heart was used to the pain. It didn't even have energy to long for Jaxon. I couldn't keep going on. I have no purpose. Tell me, what/ who am I supposed to live for? Nobody cares for me.

Why is it that depressed people are almost always those who are abused or bullied or both? Can I be classified as depressed? I'm not sure; I never checked. Doctor's and Medicine are too expensive.

I didn't know what to do with life anymore. What purpose do I have? Most people have a dream they want to achieve, but I don’t. You need a dream to achieve it, and I don't have one. So now what?

I lie in bed thinking of my future. Is it bad that I can't see myself past the age of 21? I stare up at the ceiling with Mike whining by my side. I haven't paid any attention to him when I got home. I ran to my bedroom and flopped down on my bed.

I hated being alone in times like these. It gives me really depressing thoughts. You may already know this...

Hearing a knock on the door, I stood up and opened it. I smiled lightly at the person in front of me. I haven't seen him in a while.

"Hey Chris" I greet him

"I finally found you!!!" He cheers happily

"What do you mean?" I ask

"I've been going around the whole 6th floor asking if anyone knows where you live. After a lot of "I don't know", There was this woman who said she knows what hall you live in. I continued knocking my way to your room" He smiles cheekily at me

"Oh god" I forced out a little laugh

"Why?" I ask him

"Well...I'm new to the area and was wondering if you'd show me around? You're my only friend here" He says

"Okay okay. I wasn't doing anything anyway. I'll just get changed real quick" I open the door wider to let him in

"Hey Mike!!!" He says as he squats down. He plays with Mike as I get ready. I changed into an ocean blue tank top paired with my white shorts and white converse. I grabbed my purse and went back out. Chris looks up and smiles widely at me.

"You look amazing" He says, and I smile thankfully in response.

We head out to the mall nearby. I was so thankful that Chris wanted to hang out today. I would've still been contemplating about my sad life if he hadn't came. Chris was really fun to hang out with. He was talkative and funny. I barely talked this whole time. I just kept laughing at his stories and jokes.

I found out that Chris was in his first year in college. His college was quite near here which is why he moved here. He wants to be a vet. He came from a place far from here. His parents are currently travelling the world. He has an older sister who is a lawyer, and she is engaged. He talked about so many more things but those were the important ones.

After hours of walking around and talking, we took a break and ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant we found.

"Okay okay okay. I've been talking way too much for way too long. It's your turn. I wanna know more about you" He pokes me nose when he says "you"

"There's literally nothing to tell. I'm one of the most boring person you will ever meet" I say

"Noooo. No one is ever boring. Tell me something interesting about yourself"