The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️

Ch. 50

I froze up when I heard Jaxon's voice echo through the halls. Kaden's little twin siblings, Corey and Carrie, rush to the door to greet the guest. Kaden goes after them, but Reece stays and looks at me with guilt all over his face. I put two and two together and glared at Reece.

"Why?" I snapped at him

"Harley-"

"I told you that I wanted at least one day free of complicated feelings and problems." I say

"Yeah and you told me that in the spirit of Christmas, let's put all the upsetting things in the past. Can't you do that with him?" He says

"It's not that easy, Reece!" I say exasperated

"Just talk it out! Can we all just be happy and problem free before this year ends? Can we all start a new and be happy by New Years?" He says

"I-"

"Reece..." Jaxon's voice cuts through out conversation. Reece and I turn to face him. He had a sad smile on his face.

"I appreciate what you did man, but Harley's right. It's not thay easy to just forgive and forget all the things that I've done to her. As much as I really want things to be okay with her, I don't want to force her into forgiving me and force her into being with me. I'm gonna respect what Harley wants." He says

"Jaxon, I thought-"

"Yes, I do want her to be mine. I want that so much, but if she doesn't then she doesn't. I can handle not having her as mine, but I can't handle losing her forever. I'll wait and wait until she forgives me. When that day comes, I won't push my feelings on her. I'll be perfectly contented with being her friend." He then looks from Reece to me. I felt my heart pound in my chest, but...but at the same time it's cracking.

"Harley...I'm really really sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hurting you so much. I understand why you'd never want to date me, and I'll accept that. I just hope...I hope that we can still be friends. I hope we can still hang out and laugh together. I hope you won't cut me out of your life..." He looks at me with guilt in his eyes and on his whole face.

I felt really bad to put him through this pain. I know what it feels like. I know it very well. He's doing the same thing I was doing. He's pushing his feelings back and staying contented as friends. That's exactly what I've been doing.

"I...I need time to think..." I say softly

I needed a LOT of time to think. My feelings were all over the place. I could make out shock, sadness, and confusion, but they were mixed in with so many more. I knew that a headache was coming up...

"Okay, but...in the spirit of Christmas, can we please put things behind us and just enjoy today?" He asks hopefully

"S-sure" I say with a soft smile. It's Christmas: things should be happy. I...I can think about all this later. Jaxon smiles widely at me. He leaves when Kaden calls him into the kitchen.

Reece turns to me and sighs.

"I know he's hurt you and broken your heart,  so I guess now it's even because you broke his heart as well." He says

I felt guilt hit me. I didn’t wish anyone to feel the way I did with Jaxon. I didn't want to ever be someone who would break a persons heart, but I guess that's just not possible. As long as your heart is involved, someone will always get hurt. That's what I've learned.

Reece went into the kitchen,leaving me alone with my thoughts. I couldn't handle the intense emotions, so I decided it was time to leave. I grabbed all my stuff and left the house without a word.

So much for a happy Christmas...

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This isn't the New Years updates!

The new years updates will be tomorrow as soon as it strikes 1 where I live.