Me: *drops books at school so cute boy will pick them up*
Me: *trips over books*
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms.
"What does the chef recommend?"
"Sir, this is mcdonalds"
If a teacher or person ever sarcastically says something like "what are you, 12?" hit them up with a "on a scale of 1-10 yes I am"
When you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like "i don't know what to tell u man"
Normal person: Sings lyrics
Me: Sings lyrics
Sings backup vocals
Sings guitar riffs
Air-drums entire song
Headbangs
Drug dealer? Nah man. Hug dealer. Come here.
I secretly like getting assigned seats in school because it takes away that awkward "i have no friends in this class where the hell am I gonna sit" factor
If you are feeling rad don't let anyone ever turn the r into an s
We'll we'll we'll if it isn't autocorrect
When you try to take a screenshot but end up locking your phone
Ma'am, its been 7 months and we have no signs of finding him. We have to drop the investigation, I'm sorry. *closes where's waldo book*
I'm not saying I'm a good actor but I HAVE won as many oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio.
You can't spell school without I want to stab myself
I'M WAKING UP [kicks your door down] I FEEL IT [charges into your room] IN MY BONES [punches you in the face] ENOUGH [pulls shirt off] TO MAKE MY SYSTEMS BLOW [yodels] WELCOME TO THE NEW AGE [agressively twerks] TO THE NEW AGE [screams] WELCOME TO THE NEW AGE [looks you straight in the eye] TO THE NEW AGE AAAGGGGEEEEEE [quietly leaves the room] good night.
College is thousands of dollars but pizza is only like ten so what is the obvious choice here?
*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break
Ah yes, school work. *shoves pencil through eye*
"DROP THE BASS" the orchestra member drops his instrument and knocks over all of the other muscians. the concert is ruined.
*Leans off bed to reach laptop charger*
Parkour
"Wanna hang out? When are you free?"
I'm never free, $25 per hang out session please.
Boy: did it hurt?
Girl: *sigh* did what hurt?
Boy: when you broke through earth's crust ascending from hell
Find my soul mate??? Haha more like find my other sock where the heck did it go?
Me: Oh that's cute *checks price tag*
Me: No it's not
I'm so fab the bags under my eyes are from prada
Yeah I run marathons
Movie Marathons
___________
Hi
I collected stuff from tumblr that made me laugh
I hope it makes you laugh to
Since that's basically the whole point of this book
So
Yeah
Bye
Adios
Bonne Journee
That's french
without the accents
Just though you should know
Okay
Bye
Again
-Sarah xx
