1. That little dance your thmbs do when you don't know how to answer a text.
2. I'm not clumsy. The floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
3. Me: Hey I like your shirt.
Them: Thanks, I got it for seventy dollars at the department store
Me: Really? Because for seventy dollars at Burlington, I got the same shirt, three lamps, cashmere underwear, a golden retriever, and two puerto rican children.
4. Reasons why I lose at air hockey: 2% Don't block in time 98% Hit it into my own slot
5. Does anyone ever see things in their dreams and then later in life see the exact same timng and freak out for a couple seconds?
6.Apparently Twilight is so popular because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a vampire...
7. "Hand dryers work so much better than paper towels," said no one ever
8. I bet Earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.
9. "When one door closes, another one opens." Imagine how annoying that would be if that were true. You close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open. Your cat escapes. You run out and jump into your car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your over-stuffed pantry as its unlatches.
10. Does anyone esle wake up in the middle of the night thirsty as heck and water tastes like it came from God's personal pond?
11. Being such a good cook that even the fire alarms cheer you on.
12. Me: I didn't do it! Teacher: Then why are you laughing? Me: Because whoever did it is a freakin' legend!
13. Everytime someone types 'LMAO' I imagine a French cat.
14. American kid: You're from the UK? Cool! So do you have tea with the Queen? British kid: Do you go to McDonald's with Obama?
15. Person: Let's watch a scary movie! *hours later* Dude.. walk me to the bathroom.
16. 1 new message: runs for phone, jumps over sofa, runs a marathon, swims the Atlantic Ocean, pushes mom out of the way, grabs phone "K"
17. A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It's a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: *looks at the paper* Where's the grass? Kid: The cow ate all of it. Teacher: *looks at the paper again* Then. where's the cow? Kid: It left, there was no more grass.
18. I don't know what's more awkward, answering Dora or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
19. What a crappy year. People used to imagine that 2012 would be full of flying cars, but all we have is blankets with sleeves.
20. The awkward moment when you type your password into the username section and you hope no one saw it.
21. Tip of the day: When eating a taco hold a another tortilla so when the stuff falls out... Boom! Extra taco!
22. Dear Youtube, I can deal with Ads. I can deal with buffer. But when Ads buffer, I suffer.
23. Remember when Troy and Chad thought that saying Sharpay spent the holidays shopping for mirrors was the greatest diss ever? Oh my gosh..
24. DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE!! ..... You little rebel.. I like you.
25. What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you've fooled me! What;s behind that blur? Is it an umbrella? An Elephant?
26.I'm so mad.. Why aren't toasters called tanning breads?
27. I found two of my mom's old Nokia phones.. Dare I tether them together with a steel chain like nunchuks and become the hero Gothem derserves?
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I AM SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOREVER! I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO SHOW HOW SORRY I AM! THIS ISN'T EVEN VERY LONG TOO! aRrG! I PROMISE TO UPDATE AGAIN REALLY SOON! AGAIN! I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY X1000000000 SORRY!
~Sarah :) xx
