The Ides Of March

Authenticity

Chapter 15 : Authenticity

“I – I guess, I'll see you Monday? If I don't see you before then anyway.” Sarah said cautiously, placing a hand on Esmeralda's arm lightly.

Esmeralda glared slightly at her, wishing she would stay. Sarah smiled softly, shaking her head and skipped down the stairs, nodding towards Logan respectively and walking towards the trees that surrounded her house and disappearing inside them.

After she disappeared, Esmeralda turned her gaze toward Logan, and noticed that he now stood at the bottom of the steps. “I was hoping we could talk.”

“Are you drunk?” She snapped, and watched as a look of guilt passed over his face, but it was gone as quick as it came.

“I guess, I deserved that.”

Esmeralda turned her head up, and let some of the rain drip down her face. “You deserve more than just a rude tone towards you, Logan. And there's no guessing.” Looking back at him she muttered, “But you won't get it from me.”

Hope blazed in his eyes, and Esmeralda forced myself not to smile.

“After talking to Sarah, I realized that I should be telling you all of the things I was telling her, and all of the things making me push you away. Because you deserved to hear it, just as much as I deserved to say it. Out loud. Not inside my head, where I drove myself crazy. Apparently you can reject your mate.”

A million different emotions played across his features. Confusion, surprise, disappointment, hurt, anger and rage.

“I-I'm not rejecting you. I don't think. I don't really now, actually. I feel like it will be easier if I did that, though. The thing is Logan. . . I'm scared.” She met his shocked and confused gaze and forced herself to look the other way. “I'm scared, Logan. Of not being good enough. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not old enough, having different opinions and views that you don't believe in. But most of all. . . I'm scared of being loved and loving someone else. Because I've lost so much already and I don't know if I can handle any more pain.” She stared intently at the ground, slightly wishing she could take back the last few minutes. And possibly the last few weeks. But then, if mates are fate and destiny they would definitely cross paths anyway. She was startled and ripped from her thoughts as two warm, large hands caressed her face.

Looking up she met Logan's soft gaze, a refreshing change from the harsh looks that slightly scared her. “You are more than enough, Esmeralda. You're beautiful, loving, kind, honest, smart, and amazing. And you are never ever going to loose me, I promise you that.”

“So did my sister, a week before she died.”

“Esmeralda, believe me. Trust me.” She continued to stare at him and watched as his gaze flickered down. No, no, no, don't you dare. I'm not ready to completely break.

“Esmeralda?” He asked unsure. “Are you – are you scared of me?”

Her eyes widened slightly, and her mouth opened and closed. She breathed in softly, and closed her eyes for just a moment. “Sometimes. I don't like it when you get angry, and the fact that you were drunk didn't help. But at the same time I believe that you would never hurt me.”

“That's good. Because I would never hurt you, Esmeralda. Ever.”

She nodded slightly, and gave him a weak smile. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.”

The two gazed into each others eyes for a second, before his head slowly started to inch closer to hers.

“You – you can't . . .” Her whisper was barely audible, and Esmeralda could feel herself start to slightly shake.

“Why not?”

Esmeralda looked up at Logan and her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Why couldn't he?

Why couldn't he what?

Right, kiss me.

But why can't he kiss me?

Because I -

Esmeralda's eyes bulged when she felt another pair of warm lips on her own.

It was soft and sweet, leaving her with that feeling of being on cloud-9.

Her lips, with a mind of their own hesitantly followed his movements.

His actions were delicate, as if he thought she would fall apart in a second. And in all honestly, she felt as if she would fall apart in any moment.

She wanted to be strong and pull away, but as the seconds went by she realized she was happy, and she wanted this.

So she let it happen, and she knew she would never in her life, regret letting Logan – jerky Logan – steal her first kiss.

___________

Finally uploaded ! :D

OKay, so I am finally 100% satisfied with this story! :D Woooo!

I kind of changed it alot, though, so I'll do a quick sumary of what is changed incase anyone might be wondering. ;p

#1. Instead of taking place in March, this story takes part in the middle of September.

#2. The way Logan and Elle first officially met is changed. (Cara wasn't with her) Their whole first exchange in the woods and in his house is actually completely different - and longer.

#3. You kind of know right from the beginning that Elle's family is religous.

#4. You're introduced to Cara in Chapter 4, not in the first one.

#5. Esmeralda's panic attack is still mentioned in the original chapter it was, but its hinted in earlier chapters.

#6. Esmeralda's purity ring is also hinted in earlier chapter's.

#7. It is no longer 1st person, but 3rd person as you can see. And there are a few parts where you ge insight on other character's such as Logan and her parents. (Example : There's a few paragraph in the beginning of a chapter where Logan watches Elle sleep and we get to see deeper into his thoughts and personality).

#8 Chapter 5 is completely different and is just a short chapter. Just an interaction between Logan and Elle. Nothing extremely important that affects the story, its propose is just to give an insight on their personalities and stuff.

#9 The title is changed! I felt Possessive kind of just gave the idea that its all about a relationship, But its not. I've had this story planned out (the ending anyway) since summer of 2010. And it was two ideas put together, a romance one and kind of an action one, so i felt the need to change it. Hope you like it!

I really hope you like the changes, and this chapter. Please comment and tell me what you think.:)