(Picture on the side is Roo)
DIARY OF A WORTHLESS CUTTER
Chapter 2: Stay With Me
Oliver.
Soon I was on the plane to England and closer to Josh. I put in my headphones and Na, Na, Na by My Chemical Romance came blasting through. As I mouth the words, I pull out the book. Opening it to the next entry, I begin to read.
April fourth, two thousand and six
I wrote a song today, about Oli. I might put it in another entry though; it's not even finished yet. I titled it Stay With Me.
Everyday I go to the tree house Oli and I made when we were eleven. I actually live in it now. Oli insisted on leaving his pillows and stuff on his bed before he left. They smell just like him, oranges and vanilla. I sleep on his bed. I use his toothbrush. I wear his shirts. Hell, I even started buying his body wash and stuff so I smell like him.
I quit eating three days ago. My mum has been checking my arms constantly- silly girl. Why would I cut where she would easily find? I have a feeling that she is suspicious. Lately I am more careful. I only cut in the tree house. She never goes up there.
Oli sent me a picture of his new room. He asked how he should decorate it. I told him to make it look like our tree house. One wall being posters, another being pictures of us, the third wall having drawings on it and the fourth being blank. He started a band, calling it Bring Me The Horizon. I also have a band, You Me At Six. I laughed when he told me the name of his band.
The funny thing was that on Fridays after school we went to this little cafe called Six, there was this yummy ice cream thing there and it was called The Horizon. We always got one and split it. I love them almost as much as I love Oli. I remember one time when this skanky whore walked over and started to flirt with Oli.
He got all angry because she called me a worthless fag, and took what was left of my a Dr. Pepper and poured it over my head. JUST BECAUSE I WAS WEARING PINK JEANS! Oli was so mad that he told her to fuck off and then poured his whole glass of grape soda all over her, she was dressed in white jeans and had on a pale blue crop top. She slapped him and sulked out of the cafe.
Oli saw the tears in my eyes as I shivered and BAM! OFF GOES HIS SHIRT AND JACKET! He handed them to me, because he thought I looked cold. I shyly took them from him and took off my t-shirt. Blushing as I noticed him watching me, I remember telling him to take a picture cause it would last longer. Guess what he did then? HE TOOK A FUCKING PICTURE. I pulled his shirt and jacket on then got a handful of whipped cream and hugged him.
With my whip cream hand, I slapped it into his hair making him squeal like a girl. He tackled me and then sat on me while spreading ice cream all over me. Soon it was an all out war. I put caramel on his bare chest and straddled him. By the time we were done, I was in my boxers covered in white; he was in his as well but covered in thick, golden-bronze liquid.
He had the cafe owner take a picture of us before we left. I think I fell asleep sometime after 'cause I woke up on Oli's chest the next morning and he was staring at me. I think he might have given me a bath because I was clean and my hair was damp. Gosh, how I wanted to kiss him. He looked like he was watching me sleep. The picture from that day is hung on our wall in the tree house still.
I remember that day; I still have a picture of shirtless Josh in my phone. I also remember listening to his whore moans in his sleep. I recorded them on my phone... Sexiest thing I have ever heard.
Turning the page, I see an unused condom taped to the page. In addition, an anime drawing of Josh and a small girl both looking 16 was marking the page. Josh was holding her as she clung to him like a koala. She was kissing him on the cheek- making him blush. The girl had long caramel bronze hair up in pigtails and wore a tight pair of black and red split leg skinnies. Her shirt was a corset- black and red. A Hello Kitty bow was in both of their bangs- Josh's bow pinning them out of his eyes. The girl flashed a rock on sign with her hand. There was an actual picture of the exact same thing underneath the drawing. The back was dated April 9, 2006.
April Twelfth, two thousand and six
Found Oli's stash of condoms today. How many of them did that boy need? There was like hundreds of them in a box under his bed. Along with those I found some lube- brand new, hadn't even been opened. I wonder why he had lube and condoms in our tree house... Last time I checked he liked girls. But, what if he liked guys? Then I have a chance, a small one - ha ha dick joke- but a chance nonetheless.
In addition, there's a new girl in school. She's nice. Her name is Veronica. Nevertheless, I call her Roo. Her parents shipped her off to England because she wouldn't stop getting into fights with the other students. Originally, from Iowa in the U.S. she has a slight accent and that country girl charm. Her favourite phrase when a guy compliments her is 'Aw Shucks' and her accent becomes thick. She's bisexual and hilarious. A bit bipolar but overall very nice.
Roo and I have become quite close. She cuts too and is slightly anorexic. All the guys at school have been drooling over her. Next week we're dying her hair a random colour. I think she and Oli would get along great since her dream is to have her own tattoo parlour.
She drew this picture of us in today maths. Before that is, she called Ms. Caraway a stupid skittle cunt when she told her that she couldn't have her headphones in during class. Ms. Caraway was furious. She looked at the small girl - who growled savagely, narrowing her red eyes, and terrifying the teacher- in fear before just leaving. Our math teacher just left. Right at the beginning of the lesson. The girl that caused it pumped a fist into the air and let out a shout of joy before putting her headphones in and continuing to listen to some My Chemical Romance.
She grew up having two older brothers and two older sisters, with one younger brother and an older half brother. Both her older brothers were linebackers for the American version of football. Her sisters being cheerleaders, Roo rebelled because her whole family expected her to be a sporty little whore that wore short outfits and let every football player in her pants. She dyed her blonde locks to a dark bronze and then started wearing corsets, tutus, and tights with Converse. Her grey eyes lined thickly in eyeliner. Sometimes she even wears contacts that change her eye color to crazy colours. When that didn't faze her family, she did something drastic- she joined the football team. Her father being a total sexist freaked out. Ha, ha actually, she's a good kicker. Won the state championship that she did.
Best.
Girl.
Ever.
I turn and mark the page just as the plane lands.
