Under the Bridge

chapter eighteen- "i look like a moldy chicken nugget"

I'M IN THE CAR with Liam, Andrea, and Miles. Miles is driving, Andrea has taken shotgun, and I'm in the back with Liam and several musical instruments. We've been crammed together as if we're a can of sardines. My legs are pressed together against the door, and his thigh is warm against mine, which at least makes the beginnings of Oregon winter slightly less freezing. 

It doesn't change the fact that I feel like all of my bones are out of place. 

I'll be home any minute, anyways. It's 2 AM, and I technically have plans with Hope at noon tomorrow, or today, I guess. 

Miles pulls into my street, I tell him the code to my gate so he can pull in. I can't help but miss my newfound friends, and the music I heard. I've never felt this close to Liam before, and it's a strange sort of emotion. When I'm around him, I'm happy. 

Maybe it's because of the literal closeness, or the emotional, but I can't help but be grateful that someone I'd normally be afraid of had joined my circle. I'm happy to have broadened my horizons.

Liam looks at me before he goes, the smile on his face soft, and tired, but genuine. 

I normally can't tell if someone's grin is real, but I know when Liam's is, because he doesn't smile all that often. When it's not a flirtatious smirk or a coy curl of the lips, the likelihood that he's really sending someone a kind expression is small. When it is real, you can see the corners of his eyes crinkle and this warmth radiates off of him. He makes you feel instantly feel secure, like everything is fine. 

I want to see him smile more. 

"I'll see you." He says, kindly. 

"Yeah." 

I don't think I've ever slept better. 

* * * 

"Harry Potter marathon?" Hope asks as I hop into the car. I'm moving slowly, I feel like shit, and my eyes are barely open and surrounded by dark rings. 

I didn't even drink, I'm just tired. 

"Something like that." I smile shyly, buckling my seat belt. 

Hope clicks on the radio, and some generic pop song starts playing. She cutely bobs her head along. "How are you holding up?" She asks in a kind and hushed tone, in direct contrast to her current bubbly attitude. 

I shrug. "I'll get over it." 

She raises her eyebrows at me. "That's very out of character for you. Is there someone else or something?"  

Besides Alec, who I probably won't see ever again, nobody. 

"Nobody's interested in me, I look like a moldy chicken nugget." I say. 

She laughs and shakes her head. "God, if I could be like anyone in the world, it would be you, you know?" 

I raise my eyebrows. "What are you talking about?" I say, a laugh painted mostly in shock and disbelief filling the car. 

My best friend rolls her eyes. "You're hot, you're smart, you've got the world in front of you. All you need is a little bit of self confidence and you could be the new Renee Woods." 

I snort. "I really don't want to think about that family right now." 

At a red light, Hope purses her lips together. She gives me this look of sympathy and compassion that only makes sense from a best friend. I realize just how much I've missed her since she left a week ago, and just how much I've changed in that little time.