Under the Bridge

chapter thirty six- "the greatest sin to rock music"

CHRISTMAS DINNER TASTES LIKE ramen noodles and ice cream straight out of the tub. The fact that there's a shimmering green tree surrounded by presents in the room ten feet away seems to spew spirit in a depressing sort of way. The festive decorations feel empty. 

A last minute business trip cancelled our tradition of hiring a professional chef and pretending like there's a lot of us.  It's not the first time, but it doesn't keep me from hurting. 

I'm sitting on the couch, legs held tightly to my chest, Haagen Daz to my left, and festive blanket pulled over my body. Everything smells like my Candy Cane candle, which makes me feel like there's no real escape to this holiday. I'm thinking of just calling it a night and going to sleep. 

My phone buzzes. 

I jump back and spy the lit up screen, creating a small halo of light between two pillows. I pick it up and spy a message, then a few more that I must have missed. 

There's one from Hope from a few minutes ago. 

dude!! I love you!! merry christmas!! happy holidays!!! 

Her aunt lets her drink wine with them around Christmas, so I guarantee she's a little drunk at least. I respond with a similar, but less enthusiastic message. 

Next, was one from my mother. 

Happy Holiday! Check the milk in the fridge, it's probably expired. 

I sigh and run my fingers over the screen, trying to write a reply. I can't articulate an answer, so I click away from the conversation and check my next message. 

hey, i realize i didn't give you ur xmas present. r u in the middle of something? 

I see that it's from Liam, and I feel a little smile creep onto my lips. Then, I look down and notice I'm in pajamas, covered in crumbs. This wasn't ever an issue for me now, but now that there's a person who's allegedly attracted to me, and I don't want to lose that because he hasn't realized I'm ugly yet. 

nope lol I respond, nonchalantly. 

I feel like that if I type the wrong thing, I will ruin everything. Text messages are so ambiguous, that you never know what someone really means. They freak me out a lot. 

i'll be over in ten ;)

I rush upstairs to get out of my outfit and changing into a dark red sweater and skinny jeans. I feel like these light blue leg prisons are a constraint on my mobility. This is why I don't normally wear pants that you can't get away with sleeping in. 

I look in the mirror and see that though I look put together, my eyes are still a little red and swollen from crying. I hope it goes down in time. I don't want to turn this quick gift exchange into a pity party. 

I grab the small package that I purchased for him. It's wrapped neatly in white paper with gold ribbon that looped around it. I've always been god-awful at buying gifts, so I tried really hard to make sure that I didn't mess it up. 

Just then, the doorbell rang, and I slowly made my ascent down the stairs and to the foyer once more. I set the package underneath the tree, since me having it in my hands might make him assume that I was putting thought into the last ten minutes. 

When I turned the knob, I saw a different Liam than I normally did. He was dressed up, probably forcefully, in nice brown slacks and an obnoxious green Christmas sweater covered in little embroidered reindeer. I can guarantee it was his mother who made him wear it, and I can guarantee that he was really pissed off. The smile on his lips is a little shy, but it's cute. His hair is still messed up, and his bright hazel eyes have a warm look to them.