Under the Bridge

chapter twenty nine-"tense"

THE AIR IS TENSE. Liam looks very, very uncomfortable when his eyes meet Brian's. I assume something has happened, but I'm not sure as to what it was. 

Elizabeth wasn't talking at all. When our eyes met, I saw nothing but desperation underneath lingering underneath her skin. Being in this room seemed to make her monumentally uncomfortable, and nobody, except for Liam and I, seemed to notice. Her gaze was hollow, lacking life and hope. It looked like a mirror into the past, one that I couldn't seem to escape.

Liam wasn't saying much, either, but I think it was because of me.

"So, Olivia. I see you've been spending a lot of time with Liam." Brian commented, slyly.

Liam's expression stiffens into a glare directed at his stepfather. "Can you please get a life instead of leeching onto mine?"

I become tense.

"Your mother may tolerate this type of disrespect, but I don't!" Brian said, loud voice causing everyone but Liam to jump back and shake.

Liam just raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, Brian, but I don't think I'm obligated to respect someone who sleeps with married women and doesn't respect me or my family." 

I widen my eyes and look to Elizabeth, who is staring at her plate with trembling hands and wiggling her leg impatiently. 

Brian stands up. "You need to get off your ass and do something productive with your life! All you ever do is fuck up and go missing!" 

Liam looks like he's about to do something stupid. There's this rage in his eyes, burning like a bright blue flame. It roars through the room, radiating from both sides of the table and exploding. 

I look to my left, analyzing his face. Clenched jaw, fists tightened, lips pursed. I set a hand on his arm, and he whips around, only to have his expression soften a little. 

"Liam." I say, quietly, but not weakly. "Please." 

The rage melts away, and he relaxes his body a little. "I'm sorry." He tells me, and nobody else. His gaze flickers back to Elizabeth, and I realize he's apologizing to her as well now, but she doesn't change. 

"So, you two are a thing now?" His mother says, trying to change the mood of the conversation. 

I blush and take my hand away and Liam cements his eyes on me. We sit in silence for a second, the silence harsh and unwavering. I feel every emotion from the past couple days wash over me, and I don't know what to say. 

"No, we're not." Liam says, finally. 

I feel my heart snap in half. 

"Figures, girls like you should stay away from boys like Liam." Brian says, which makes me feel just as bitter as Liam does. 

I bite my lip and look down, not knowing what to say. I wanted to come to his defense, but I didn't want to be hated by Liam's entire family. "Liam, I think I have to get home." I say, shaking hands pulling my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry for leaving so soon." 

"Olivia." He protests as I stand up, setting a hand over mine. 

Chills, I feel chills. Even though his hand is warm, I feel frozen like ice, resembling nothing but the flurry of a snowstorm outside. His eyes are staring right up at me, and he jerks up to meet my position. 

"Let me drive you, it's cold." 

I shake my head. "I have plans with Hope. She lives a couple blocks away. I might as well get the workout." I lie, walking past him and throwing my jacket back on. 

"Olivia, Jesus Christ--"

"--Liam, I really don't want to have this conversation right now in front of everyone." I say, pushing up my glasses and turning away. "Merry Christmas." I whisper, because I feel like I won't see him at all until long after the holiday ends. 

When I leave through the front door, I feel snowflakes fall onto my cheeks. It's so cold, it's like my tears will turn to solid any minute. But I keep walking, feeling my nose and fingers turn bright red. 

I don't make it far before I hear my name. 

Liam Walker is running, probably freezing in just his thin long sleeve shirt and jeans. He's sprinting, careful past the ice, and he looks at me with such intensity that I can't seem to keep walking. 

I can see my breath mingle with his in the frosty air. We're a foot apart. I can see the flakes of snow on his eyelashes, and the sad expression in his eyes. "Olivia." He mutters, brushing a strand of hair out of my face. 

"What do you want from me, Liam?" I ask, crossing my arms across my chest tightly. 

He bites the inside of his cheek and hangs his head slightly. When he returns to my gaze, I see the same look I got the other day, full of compassion and happiness. My heart is pounding, my breaths are shaking, and my head feels like it's going to explode. 

"I want you, Olivia. I want to be with you." He says, confidently, sure of his answer. "But I don't want to fuck it up and break your heart, or lose you." 

I shake my head. "Heartbreak is a part of life, Liam." I tell him. I realize that now, we are only inches apart, and the space between us closes. 

His arms wrap around my waist, my hands on his warm shoulders, and our chests pressed up against one another. I'm not cold anymore. His lips are on mine, not careful, or cautionary, but dangerously exploring, and filling me with the same fire I saw in him when he was angry, though now it's morphed into something better. One arm moves up and is in my hair and on my jaw, guiding me against him as the kiss deepens. 

He breaks away and mutters a few quiet words against my lips. "Come back." 

"I can't." Not after I embarrassed myself in front of his family, or after I've already left. I'm not returning to that house today, and I'd much rather just be with Liam, alone. I'd even prefer to be by myself, if it meant I didn't have to talk. 

"Okay." He says, surprising me. "But at least let me drive you home, or to Hope's." 

I sigh and take his icy fingers in mine. "Home."