Under the Bridge

chapter twenty one- "a large bag of M&Ms"

IT TOOK MY MOTHER AN HOUR TO RETURN after Hope departed. I had sixty minutes of solitude, and I spent all of it worrying about Liam. I told him to text me updates, because I couldn't imagine just how much pain he was in. He still hasn't responded, and the black Rolls Royce was just parked in the garage. 

We're not going to talk until dinner, I might as well stay up here. 

My phone buzzes on the desk, the only sound in the room being its loud hum. He's responding to my text message with a call, which means something very bad is going on. 

I take the device and click on speaker phone, sinking back into my sheets. 

"Liam?" I say, worry lacing both syllables profoundly. 

There's shuffling on the other side, and I hear footsteps. "They're gonna lock her up, for a little while. In-patient care." He croaks, voice heavy and raspy. "She's just a little girl." 

I remember those years of mine, when I was exactly that low. When I was in a nearly identical situation. "In-patient is temporary, Liam--how long will she be there?" 

 "A week." He says, not even having to think. "I'm in the parking lot right now." His voice sounds like it's in the process of breaking apart, but he's also being hesitant, like he's shy to tell me. Liam Walker is everything but shy. 

I lean against my headboard. "Did you drop her off?" I ask. 

"Yeah." 

"Can you visit her?" 

There's a silence on the other end that answers my question, but he confirms it anyways after a couple of seconds. "Not until they determine her state." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Sorry isn't going to fix her." He mumbles over the line, barely distinguishable. 

I sigh. "Liam, you can't fix people. You can't get rid of anxiety, or depression. It doesn't go away. Even if it cools off, it still hangs over your head. It slowly breaks you down." 

"I know." He replies, as though he knew the exact feeling I'm referring to. Maybe he did. Maybe he felt it firsthand. 

"You're a good brother." I say to him with absolute conviction. 

He doesn't respond. There's this quiet between the two of us, heavy breathing from both ends filling the line. I want to hug him like he hugged me, I want to make him feel as secure as he makes me, I want to be with him right now. 

I think I'm the only person he's told. 

"Tonight was supposed to be fun." He breathed. 

"Sometimes life spoils it." I say, genuinely. "What were you gonna do?" 

He laughs a little, it's weak, but it's there. I feel instantly a little better. "I don't think you want to know." 

"I'm not that innocent." 

"I was gonna get stoned with the band and then try and hook up with Andrea again." He says, honestly. 

"Were you two dating or something?" I ask, confused by the word again. 

"Do I really seem like a dating guy?" I thought back to Hope's words earlier today. "We just kinda fucked from time to time. We're just friends, there's no feelings. I miss that though. It was convenient and fine. Sorry, I don't know how to talk to my female friends, since it's just you and the one I have sex with." 

I laugh a little. "It's okay, Liam. Just talk to me like your other friends." 

There's more quiet from his end, then shuffling, and a car door. "I don't think I've ever told anyone as much as I've told you. I don't think you're like my other friends." He comments, and I hear even more shuffling sounds, followed by some kind of metal noise.