Under the Bridge

chapter twenty four- "read at 8:04"

IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS since I've spoken to him. I wasn't being treated as he treats James, or Brian. He was treating me like everyone else. He wasn't acknowledging me. Somehow that hurt worse. I wanted him to scream at me, to let it all out. I wanted to feel a glare aimed at the back of my head in English class. Instead, I felt nothingness. 

I'm walking home. I'm shivering as white flecks of snow hit my face, turning my skin to ice. I feel like I deserve this, but I also feel like I just stuck my head into an ice cream cone.

A car pulls up beside me, and I widen my eyes. There, at my right, is a face I did not expect to see. The window is rolled down,and their eyes are filled with worry and content. I feel relieved, and nervous, and uncomfortable. Each emotion is unique like a snowflake, piling up like a flurry in my mind. 

"You shouldn't walk home in this cold." Renee says, her voice laced with concern. 

I widen my eyes. "I'll b-be okay."  I stutter, not sure if it's from the shivering or from the nerves. 

"Get in the car, Olivia." She commands, semi-forcefully. It reminds me of the day it was raining, when Liam wanted to drive me home. 

I sigh and enter the passenger seat, relieved to see nothing but her. No James, no popular friends who used to bully me, just Renee and her Volkswagen Beetle. "Thank you." I mutter, feeling a wave of warm encircle the car. 

"I heard what you said to my brother." She admits, driving forward after I've instructed her on where to go. 

I freeze. 

"He deserves it." She continues. "He's been acting like a douchebag since he made varsity, I just didn't want to admit it myself.

I nod. "Left, here." 

She turns the wheel. "I heard you and Liam broke up, too." 

I sigh, not knowing what to say at all. "We were never dating." Is what I decide on. 

"Okay." Is all she says, pulling into the neighborhood. The rest of the car ride is silent, except for a thank you that I direct her way while I leave the car. 

I return to my bedroom and cry. 

* * *

I didn't expect the text message to appear on my phone when it did. I was in English class, in a seat situated straight in the middle to avoid interacting with either boy that plagued my life. Beside me, a goth chick was painting her nails. The scent was heavy and filling the room. I wondered why the teacher hasn't noticed, or cared. 

Then again, Mr. Palmer was never known for having good judgement. 

I have my phone at the corner of my desk, on silent. Everyone is supposed to be reading, and I see faintly what Mr. Palmer was doing at the computer. Scrolling through Facebook. 

The message lit up my screen, which caused the girl next to me to widen her kohl covered eyes and curl her red lips into a smirk. Good girl gone bad, it seemed to read. 

I look at the device as I hide it behind the pages of my textbook. 

i'll still be at the winter gala thing. 

I turn around to look at Liam, but he's just messing around with Miles in the back row. He's ignoring me, still. 

i'm sorry. I type back, knowing that he's finally listening. 

Read at 8:04 AM. 

I turn back around. Maybe things weren't fixed, after all. 

* * * 

My mother and I are looking at dresses. Just because an event is classified as black tie, doesn't mean I can't wear a hoodie and sweats, right? My mom says otherwise. She compares my wardrobe to a basket of rags used for cleaning. 

I sigh. I hate boutiques. It feels like everyone in here is judging me. 

"This is pretty." The Russian sales clerk says, lifting up a sparkly piece of fabric that only covered a few select parts of my body. 

"Where's the rest of it?" My mom asks, looking at the tiny dress in horror. "We need something that won't make my daughter look like a sexy disco ball. This is a classy event."  

I sigh. This is going to be a long day. 

"How about you just pick some things for me and I'll try them on." I mutter, turning my oversized hoodie into paws and crossing my arms. 

My mom smiles. "That's a great idea. Someone go get her a fitting room." 

* * *

Every dress is worse than the last. My mom's style morphed from Hillary Clinton to 2001 Brittney Spears, to Hillary Clinton again. This last dress had lapels and rhinestones. 

I feel like I'm going to throw up. 

The sales clerk returns to the elegant fitting area, her manicured fingers clutching a silky dark green fabric. "This one is my pick, it'll look beautiful." She explains, words full of confidence. 

I run my fingers over the material and find that it is indeed silk. It's smooth and soft, feeling like butter under my hands. I'm careful to put it on, but when I do, I notice that it looks better than anything I've ever tried on. 

I gaze at the mirror, and I don't see a shy girl with grey, bland, eyes. 

I see a girl with eyes that look like a storm in contrast to a long, emerald gown. It's strapless, the top clinging to my skin and the rest falling effortlessly at my feet. My pale skin and freckles don't look like they're in hiding, they look beautiful in contrast. 

I want this dress. 

It moves with my body, swaying at every motion while I walk. 

It looks gorgeous. Scratch that, I look gorgeous.  

* * *

"You look amazing." Louisa comments as she dusts the shelves. I've tried on the dress again and walked down the stairs, trying to see which shoes I should pair with it. Hope is here as well, helping me decide. 

"I second that." My best friend says, cruising back into the room with a sandwich in her hand. "Liam's going to faint at first sight." She says, throwing herself into the soft seat on the couch and looking at me. 

"Liam, as in the boy who was over here the day you faked sick?" Louisa asks, which causes Hope to let out a shriek. 

"Holy mother of Snape! What did she just say?" She exclaims, dropping her tuna melt onto the floor in complete shock. 

I sigh, and Louisa looks frightened. I'm not mad at her, she probably expected Hope to know. 

"It wasn't anything. It was after James, and he just came over and talked to me." I explain. "He's my friend. Or was, I guess." 

Hope rolls her eyes. "I can still rip off his balls if you want." 

I shake my head. "I just wish that everything goes back to normal tonight. I want my friend back, you know? I've messed it all up. But like, I'm mad at him, I feel like we are both kind of in the wrong. I just feel like everything is going to heck." 

"A word of advice." Louisa says in her thick accent. "Boys are stupid and don't know how to read between the lines." 

I think that was the most important thing she's ever said to me, and she once taught me how to get a blood stain off of a white couch. 

OMG WE HIT 10K!!!! I  SAID I WOULD REWARD YOU GUYS IF WE DID BY TUESDAY BUT TBH I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!! WHAT DO YA'LL WANT? I CAN'T DO ANOTHER WEEK OF STRAIGHT UPDATES BECAUSE I HAVE 5 TESTS NEXT WEEK BUT I MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. COMMENT!!!

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dedicated to: captainbaconella