Under the Bridge

chapter thirty two- "harry potter married draco malfoy"

MY NAILS ARE UNNATURALLY glittery. Hope has always been good at looking great, and she's finally roped me into getting my nails done. The glitter shines against the lights of my room, reflecting against the winter candles that I bought a little bit.

Right now, my room smells like Candy Canes. 

It's freaking awesome. 

Remember how excited I got about Halloween? Well Christmas and I have a bit of a rocky relationship, since it's a family holiday, and I really only have one family member, who is almost always gone. 

But this year, I feel like Christmas is going to be amazing. Liam is having a party, my mom is in town, and every inch of me smells like candy canes and/or gingerbread. Thank you, Bath and Body Works. 

My house is covered in lights, and there's a big ol' tree in my foyer. It feels like there's a dozen people here, instead of just two. 

Hope and I are sitting on my bed, drinking hot chocolate and watching Elf on my Macbook. My head is on her shoulder, and she's scrolling through her phone, showing me memes from time to time. I'm so grateful to have her in my life. 

"Hey Hope, I kind of need to tell you something." I say, feeling a bit of guilt build up inside. 

She looks over, and the expression on her face is unreadable. "I kind of need to tell you something too." 

I sigh. "You first, or me?" 

"Rock, paper, scissors?" She asks, extending out her hands. 

I smile. 

"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!" We exclaim in unison, gesturing until I get rock, and she gets paper. 

I guess I'm going first. I look down, biting my lip nervously and feeling my hands quake. "Hope, I don't know how to say this, but uh, in Canada, I maybe sort of got a tattoo." 

She laughs. "Oh my God, I thought you were pregnant or something." She says, laughing. "What is it?" 

I shove aside everything telling me not to say it. All of the worries of judgement still peck at my mind like birds, but I ignore it. I exhale deeply. "I uh, have this scar on the top of my rib cage, that I didn't like, so I covered it up." 

I pull up my sweater to reveal the small peach flowers on my pale skin. They extended under my breasts, making the white scar invisible. The lines were thin and artistic, and the picture looked simple, rather than covered in elaborate shading. 

She smiles. "It's pretty." Hope notes. "You're like thirty times edgier than Liam now." 

I laugh. "You know that Liam has like five tattoos, right?" 

Hope widens her eyes. "Where? I haven't seen them." 

I give her a confused look. "On his shoulders and upper arms? And on his chest? You can see them when he wears a tee shirt." 

"He's always wearing that leather jacket or a hoodie or something, why should I know? And why have you seen his chest?" She asks, wiggling her eyebrows and giggling. 

I hit her arm. "Nothing sexual." 

"Yet." She retorts. "For all I know, you're a sex maniac. You could be going at it every time I'm not here." 

I roll my eyes. "Yes, and Harry Potter married Draco Malfoy." I respond, dramatically. 

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were a nerd. ROASTED!" Hope and I erupt into a fit of laughter, probably so loud the neighbors could hear. My mother certainly could, but I don't think she cared. 

The giggles subside, and I pull my legs to my chest. "So what did you want to tell me?" 

Hope's smile fades into nothingness, and I feel my heart drop. I know what she's saying is going to be serious, because there are few times when my best friend isn't grinning from ear-to-ear. "I um, I don't know how to tell you this." 

I swallow the saliva that seems to be streaming through my mouth and nod. 

"I'm, uh, not completely straight. I think I'm bisexual." She says. 

I smile, and feel a giant load get lifted off of my chest. "I thought you were going to say you had cancer or something. That's such a relief. I don't care who you're attracted to, so long as it's not James Woods or my mom I couldn't care less." 

Hope's normal face is back, and she pulls me into a hug. "God, I love you, best friend." 

"I love you too, best friend." 

* * * 

I always panic, but not like this. I feel like this outfit is too much, but also too little. I felt like my breath smelled bad, so I brushed my teeth four times, but now I think it smells too minty, and he'll think I tried too hard. I got a little bit of mascara on the top of my eyelid, and now it's not coming off, and I want to cry, but that'll ruin it more. Is he going to notice the microscopic black spec and hate me forever? Probably. 

I hate anxiety. 

Before I can worry more, the doorbell rings and I run down the stairs so fast I nearly fall on my face. Thankfully, I catch myself on the railing. 

Today is going to be a rough day, I can feel it. 

I approach the door with shaking hands and turn the knob. Liam is smiling, shyly. His messy hair has somehow become slightly more managed, (though not as much as it was for the Winter Memorial, I don't think he cares that much.) he's wearing a light thrasher tee shirt with a leather jacket and semi-nice pants and shoes. He still looks like himself, just more put together. 

But the thing that surprises me most is that in his hands, there is a small bouquet of flowers. I don't know anything about plants, but the ones inside are beautiful. There's dark red roses, big leafy things, and a splash of light pink dahlias. 

"Hey, uh, I don't know how to do the whole date thing, but Lizzie told me to get you flowers, so here you go, I guess." He says, awkwardly. 

I take them, they smell soft and fresh. "Where am I supposed to put them? Do I bring them inside? I don't know." I'm kind of nervously rambling, but also kind of joking. Liam is laughing quietly. 

"I have no idea." He tells me, honestly. "But to be honest, I don't think it matters." 

I smile, turning around and setting them on the table. "Where are we going?" I ask, feeling this awkward energy starting to fill up inside me. 

"Surprise." 

okay ya'll i know the top picture is a little ~scandalous~ but that's the closest thing to what i imagined i could find on google so deal with it

okay but the cliche where the character comes out by kissing the protagonist is stupid. like not all lesbians/bisexuals/anyone else are attracted to all girls. it's like, i don't think my boyfriend is kissing every girl he sees, and i don't kiss every boy i see. 

idk. i know the lesbian/bisexual best friend thing is a cliche, but this whole book is a twist on a cliche. YOU'LL SEE WHERE IT MATTERS IN ABOUT TEN CHAPTERS :)

and jake asked me to hoco before i could ask him. rip me.

fun fact: the next chapter is super important. it's also called "under the bridge" so that's fun.