From The Ashes We Rise

Chp 27: I'm Leaving?

The next month didn't go too well for any of us. School had become a bitch to us because it was our senior year and we're gonna sit for our finals in the next couple of months. Our teachers were pressuring us by giving us a shit ton of homework.

These 'presents', as they call them, were bugging me. The more I was given, the more I procrastinated and the more I stressed.

It has really come to a point where I, a smart kid, had finally started to feel dumb. I really couldn't understand what the hell my teachers were droning on about. Consultations with them almost never seemed to work at all.

We were also given a multitude of tests for us to practise what we've just learnt, and these tests happen at least 2-3 times a week. Normally, you'd expect me to at least get a good grade for these but no.

As time went on, I started to score badly for almost every test I'm given. I'm worrying my teachers as well as myself. However, it's not completely my fault; I've been reading textbooks, asking for practice papers and consulting teachers. Maybe it was because I really couldn't apply things I've learnt properly. Sciences weren't a problem for me so it was only Maths which annoyed me the most.

The countless failures I've had with Maths really bummed me out; I was pretty good at the subject and I rarely ever did badly, besides that one time I got a B on a Maths test and triggered my powers a few hours later. Sometimes I looked back and shuddered at how high my expectations were.

On some days, I suffered from depressive episodes. They rarely happened but I still hated it; they were a nightmare. I made sure I stayed sane for the rest of the school year so that I don't do anything stupid. I've also told Kyran to keep a watchful eye on me because he knew what I had gone through in the past.

Aside from the stress from school, I finally came around to cut my hair. I was really lazy to do so over the past few months so Kyran and Cassidy had pretty much grown accustomed to my Revenge Gerard Way hair. Kyran somewhat 'congratulated' me on finally being a boy again, whatever that meant. It's been quite a while since I've had short hair cause I've been too anxious to leave my house during those 'dark' times.

"So hey, wanna study together?" Kyran's voice broke whatever trance I was in. I blinked a few times and nodded my head.

"Should we get Cas?"

"I think I remember she said she has karate class today."

"Ah well. It's only us guys for now."

Our study sessions had become more frequent. Sometimes both Kyran and I would go for consultations with the same teachers together. We don't really hang out to play so much; we only came together to study for upcoming tests and improve on what we don't understand.

I've started to really feel the stress pulling at me from all sides. It's painful and noticeable, like any injuries I've received within a few days. I'd sometimes stay up late to complete my assignments because of my procrastination.

Soon enough, that developed into insomnia and every time I tried to sleep early, I could never do so. I found myself sleeping at around 1-2am every night.

"You should really get some sleeping pills," Cassidy suggested one day.

I took a sip of my coffee and just gave her a blank stare. "No. I have loads of work to do and I've got coffee."