From The Ashes We Rise

Chp 34: Let Yourself Go

~Saturday evening~

Delta and I arrived at Ariff's house just before 6. The door opened to reveal a shirtless Ariff. He was only wearing a pair of shorts and I could see his abs. I realised my face was getting warm then turned away quickly.

"Huh, why you blushing?" Ariff asked.

"I-I'm not. It's just... hot," I muttered, my face still red.

When we entered the house, I was amazed. It had a pool outside and the rooms were all huge. There was a flight of stairs next to the living room that led up to the bedrooms. A cat was sleeping in its bed peacefully. Ariff's house was better than my Minnesotan one.

"You guys wanna eat?" Ariff asked, closing the door.

Delta and I shook our heads and told him that we ate already. We went to watch tv while he ate with his little sister, Ariana. We heard them talk about something, most likely about the full moon that night. The living room and dining room weren't that far apart, so we could easily listen in to their conversation.

"Abang, there's full moon tonight. You're going into the basement again, right?" she asked.

"No, I'm in my room."

"Why? I thought you told me you're dangerous? You always sit downstairs so I don't get hurt like last time."

"My friends will help me become not dangerous. For you, and for me," Ariff replied.

This was something I had never known before. Ariff had hurt his little sister before? From the sound of his voice, I could tell that he didn't want it to happen again.

I leaned towards Delta. "What's up with that?" I whispered.

"Ariff hurt Ariana the first few times he turned. He tries to avoid repeating it by hiding downstairs. There's a special room for him down there. And from what I remember, she was fucked up pretty badly. I'm honestly surprised she doesn't have trauma from that," he explained, in a low voice. "I guess if we manage to help him out, he doesn't have to run downstairs all the time." 

After dinner, Ariff led us to his room upstairs. He seemed to ignore the small discussion in the living room earlier, as he never addressed it when walking with us. Perhaps he just wanted me to have a little more insight into his personal life to understand him better. When we reached his room, it was actually pretty big and had guitars, both acoustic and electric, tucked in one corner of the room. It was a bit messy but I didn't mind.

"Yeah. It's nothing much," he said, finally putting on a shirt.

I sat on a chair and looked out of the window. The sun was setting and the sky was blotched in orange, red and yellow streaks. The clouds were a mix of yellow and orange and littered the sky like leaves on the ground. Ariff's room had the perfect view and I envied him.

"So, when you shift, are you actually aware of it?" Delta asked, sitting on Ariff's bed.

Ariff shook his head. "Most of the time, I only feel the pain. After I shift I don't really know what's going on and I have literally no control over myself. My human mind is there but I don't have the power to control. My cat mind does almost all of the work," he explained.

"Harsh. So that's why it's always painful?" I asked.

"Yeah. I keep resisting because I don't wanna kill anyone. My anger also always triggers it and most of the time I don't wanna shift," he explained again. "But to be fair, even when I can't control it, I just fall asleep anyway. Just cat things, I guess."

"Does that second part happen a lot?" I asked.

Ariff shook his head. "I don't think my feral mind likes being inactive all that much. Only sometimes, it decides I must sleep."

He flopped on his bed, almost kicking Delta in the face. Delta grabbed his leg and lifted it over his head.

"That's why we're trying to help you. If you willingly let your panther out, maybe you can control it better?" Delta asked.