Tough Love

Chapter 9

Chapter 9-

Few weeks later—

               I listened to my audio version of Pride and Prejudice. Swiveling around in my rolling chair, I threw my bouncy ball up and then caught it. The smell of my favorite Chinese dishes drifted around the house. But I wasn’t going to eat.

I’ve stopped eating later. Maybe its depression, I don’t know... I’ve just lost interest in everything, everyone. I’d go downstairs for the bathroom or if I got hungry, which was rare. I sort of isolated myself from everyone else that came to visit. Sleep also became my last priority. Most of the time, I just lay awake, focusing on not trying to think of unpleasant thoughts about my sad past.

Dad and Mom are pretty upset with all these new habits now. They’re so worried and concerned with my health. Mom says I’ve lost a lot of weight. That my frame is in an unhealthy size now. I think Kelsey is trying to treat me for my depression, trying to get me to eat and talk out my feelings. That will never happen. I’m not the type of person to tell people about my feelings. Saying “I love you,” to anyone, even my parents or sister, is equivalent to going on the world’s fastest rollercoaster, and trust me, I’m deadly afraid of roller coasters.

As I sat there thinking, I couldn’t help but finally allow myself to think of Brandon and Katie. Closing my eyes, I pictured them both happy. Their familiar laughter echoed inside my head and I felt like crying, but I didn’t. I haven’t cried since the first day when I met Kelsey, and I wasn’t going to cry ever again.

I walked slowly to my bed and leaned into my soft fluffy pillows. After about 30 minutes, I could hear footsteps coming from down the hallway. Within seconds my door was pushed open. “Do you know what time it is?” Mom’s tone was furious, like it usually is now-a-days. I didn’t move a muscle. “No.” I answered.

“Do not be sarcastic with me, young lady! Last night you promised you’d have dinner with the family. I made your favorite! Why aren’t you downstairs?” She yelled.

And I promised the night before that, and the night before that night too, I thought. After a few seconds, I said, “Are you done?”

I think that was her breaking point. She stomped over to me. “That’s it! You’re rude and that is not acceptable! You will come down for dinner and you will eat at the table like a regular child!”

I stood up, hopefully facing my mom. “I’m not a regular child though! I will never be one!”

Mom groaned loudly in frustration. “You are a regular child! You just don’t want to believe it. You’ve isolated yourself, you barely eat anymore, and the only time you get out of your room is for the hospital.” Mom’s voice got soft and concerned. “What’s gotten into you?”

“You think I don’t know what’s wrong with me? That I don’t eat? That I’m antisocial? That I don’t have sight? Mom, I live with it every single day. I know.”

“Then try to fix it. Live past it. Make the best out of your life, you’re just a teenager!” I tuned her out until she said, “Emily! Are you listening to me?”

“Yes, yes.” I said, groaning internally.

“You have so much more to experience and live for! Your life isn’t over. Just look at yourself-“

I didn’t let Mom finish. My tone was cold, flat, and emotionless. Anger boiled inside me. “I can’t look at myself. Remember?”

She didn’t say anything. I didn’t say anything. Footsteps sounded from up the stairs and to my room. Dad walked in, bringing his cheerful attitude with him.  “Hey kiddo.” He ruffled my hair and kissed my Mom.