Barely Holding On

Chapter 17

I sat alone at the party glaring at Nash who was making out with some girl. If he was trying to make me jealous, it was sure as hell working.

Cameron came up and wrapped his arms around my waist kissing my on the neck. Well, this was different. He spun me around and started to kiss me. He was a great kisser, but like previously mentioned I felt more fireworks kissing a wall.

I tried to intensify the kiss to make Nash jealous. When I realized what I was doing I immediately pulled away, “Oh my god,” I muttered and ran away from Cameron. I was using my boyfriend to make some other guy jealous. I was seriously fucked up.  

I pushed my way through the crowd needing some fresh air. How had everything gone so completely wrong? I thought back to it and I realized it all started when I told Nash to pretend to be my boyfriend…

I finally made it into the front yard and gasped for breath. Somewhere along the way I had pretty much hit rock bottom. I was failing classes now and drinking almost every night, and for what?

I ran my fingers through my hair and kicked an empty beer can. I was angry, angry at myself.

I needed to get out of there.

I walked back in the house in search for Cameron. Eventually I found him doing shots, well there went my plan. I wasn’t going to have him drive me home drunk. “Vi!” he called out when he saw me. He came over and tried to drunkenly kiss me. I pushed him away, I was done with this. Done with him.

“Cameron, stop.” I said weaker than I should have.

Cameron grabbed onto my arm, hard. “No Violet, you stop. I’m fucking sick of you being a tease.” He dragged me through the crowd into any empty room, locking the door.

Oh fuck. He threw me onto the bed and started kissing my neck. “Cameron stop. I don’t want to do this.” I tried to push him off of me, but he only pressed down harder trapping me.

Cameron played with the short hemline of my tight dress, “Oh please, you do. Look at all the tight clothes you wear. It drives me crazy. I’ve been patient for so long…waiting for you. But I want you now.”

My breathing quickened, I had to get out of here. He started to move my dress up; I squirmed around trying to stop him. “Stop moving,” He grabbed my arms and put all his weight on top of me, leaving me immobile.  There were going to be bruises.

I stared at the ceiling. I was seriously considering just giving in, why not? It wasn’t like Nash or anybody else wanted me. It also seemed like saying yes was a lot easier than saying no.

But I wouldn’t do that. I owed myself more than that, “Cameron get the fuck off of me,” I said with as much authority as I could.

Cameron laughed, “Oh Vi… you don’t mean that.”

“No, actually I do. So get the fuck off of me before I start screaming.” I tried to push him off of me, but he was so much stronger than me.

“You wouldn’t-“ but he was cut off when someone ripped him off of me. Nash. Nash punched Cameron in the face and then grabbed me pulling me out of the room.

“Wait,” I said and pushed Nash’s hand off of me.

I ran back into the room and saw Cameron lying on the floor clenching his eye. “In case that situation wasn’t clear enough, were over.” I said and left the room.

I found Nash again and we walked outside towards his car. I grabbed his arm stopping him. I really wanted to kiss him, but I didn’t know how he felt about me so I didn’t want to push my luck. Instead I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thanks,” I whispered against his chest. He just kind of stood there at first, but then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close.

He pushed me back so he could look in my eyes; I kept my hands on him, needing to touch him. I saw another internal debate going on in his eyes. He shook his head and completely detached himself from me. In fact he took a couple steps back so I couldn’t easily grab him. “Come on, let’s go home,” he said quietly, almost sadly.

I just nodded and followed him to his car.

--

After I had changed out of my dress, I walked back into our room seeing Nash already asleep. I looked down at my bed and sighed. I really didn’t want to sleep alone tonight.

I walked over to Nash’s bed and pushed him a little to make room for me. He groaned waking up. He actually looked really cute. In about the sexiest voice I have ever heard he said, “What?”

“Scoot over,” I whispered. He groaned again but scooted over.

I crawled under the covers and snuggled up against him.

He wasn’t wearing a shirt like usual, but I didn’t mind.

I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep to the sound of his breathing.