Doubt Thou Stars Are Fire

Chapter Seven

I tried shaking off the dull pain in the back of my head. When I fell, I apparently hit a growing root. I leaned over my trunk and began to fold together my dresses. Ben sat at the chair across from me. "Are you coming back?" He asked, watching me take my things into my trunk.
"My work is here, I just need to attend to things back home, I'll be back." I rubbed my temples to calm down a headache," of course I'll be back."
"Do you want one of my men to accompany you?" He asked me.
"No, I should be fine," I said bluntly. Something inside hurt deeply. A certain sickness grew in my stomach when I thought about Jack being with another woman. Never did I ever think that it would come to this. I glanced at the silver band on my finger. A terrifying thought entered my mind, what if he did this every time I was working at the camps. I felt stomach acid rising in my stomach. I put a hand over my mouth and hurled yesterday's dinner on to the floor of my tent.
"You shouldn't travel when you're this unwell." Ben frowned,"you already went cold not too long ago." He held back my hair when I puked on the floor. I bit back tears and shook my head.
"You don't understand Ben," I mumbled out to him.
"How do you know that I don't understand?" He queried
"I just know you don't," I added one last fold to my dress before setting it into the trunk. The dull pain still pressed on.
A growing anxiety came into me. What if, every time I was gone, he was with another woman? I bit my lip and shuddered thinking about it. A dense pain formed in my throats while I tried to hold back heavy tears. How could he have done this? I was so caught up in my imagination I almost ignored Ben's question.
"May I come with you? Or at least call one of my men to accompany you on this?" His face was filled with quiet concern.
"I would be happy to take you with me, Captain, but I believe that you have other duties to attend to." I shut the trunk and closed the lock. The tears were beginning to be hard to hold back. Of course, I wanted him with me, he's offering me comfort. I wouldn't feel right taking him with me.
He nodded his head to me,"Then I'll ask one of my men, I don't want you to journey so far alone." He reached for my hand and gripped it,"I'm always here for you, Winifred."
I glanced at his hand then up at him. His blue eyes glimmered in the candlelight. I pursed my lips. "If you do insist on it, then go ahead."
_________________

My sister's letter was grasped in my hand. The man who Ben had sent me with, a lean but muscular young man, was quite the talker. "It's cold isn't it, don't you think?" He asked.
"It is, it's just the beginning of autumn." I loosened my grip on the paper after realizing I was beginning to white knuckle it.
"So, why are you going all the way back to town? Captain Tallmadge didn't mention the circumstances I was under on this mission." The tall brunet asked.
"Visiting family," I said, keeping my eyes low to the ground. I was relieved Ben didn't mention the circumstances. "What's your name by the way?"
"Edmund Brandenburger," he glanced up at the clearing sky. The clouds that hung around in the morning finally left us.
"Very Germanic," I commented. The fog around the two of us began to clear. Talking to Edmund helped ease my mind. A large gust of wind blew by us, sending my hair swirling into a mess, and toppling his hat off of his head. I laughed as he picked it up,"Don't think the wind likes us too much."
"I don't think so either," he picked up his hat and dusted the leaves from it. He set the thing on his head again. "Now, Ms. Artois, I don't mean to offend, but I do see you and Ben together very...frequently."
"And?" I asked defensively. I felt some shame rise inside.
"I was just wondering if anything was happening between the two of you." He continued to look ahead. I could tell he truly didn't mean to offend mine by asking such a question. I still felt uneasy.
"There is nothing between us, I have just gotten close to the Captain recently, he's very intelligent," I stated, trying to make it sound as if I had no feelings for the man.
"Oh, alright, well everyone in the camp was just wondering if your intents with him or the status of your "friendship..." he trailed off.
"What? We're friends." I said, rising up in defense again.
"Everyone knows that no one spends that much time with someone and not have any sort of romantic feelings for someone." He shot back. He knew he was onto something with me.
"How would you know?" I questioned.
"How would I know? I might just be wooing one of the young women under your care, she visits me a lot in my tent," he laughed to himself.
I blushed,"one of my girls? Who?"
"Iris Summers." He said confidently.
I felt bad for not having a memory of her face. I did remember running through her name a few days ago before I had arrived at this camp. While the name rang a bell, the face wasn't matched up. I pretended to know who she was though. "Her? Well, she is beautiful." I declared.
"And smart, very witty." He yawned. "It wouldn't be too much longer before we get into the city," Edmund replied.
"Hoped so," I answered. The sun was beginning to dip behind the trees. The cold wind made me shiver through my heavy dress. It seemed so much colder than the night before.
________
We entered into the city sometime later that night. The cold lights made the warmth of a bed seem so far away. It wasn't long before we got into the limits until it began to sprinkle with rain. I shuddered, the rain was always so cold in autumn. I began to recognize the buildings of my old town. Our house, I mean, my house stood on the corner of the street across from a tavern which seemed to never close.
"Are we close, Matron?" Edmund asked. I bet he was shivering under all of that blue and gold.
I nodded to him in reply, the windows of my house were lit up. I peeked my head to one and glimpsed in. In front of me stood the parlor room that Jack had designed for me. The shelves stood dense with books and other things. Chairs stood together. In another room, a fire was burning. I saw two silhouettes standing together.
The same sick feeling made my stomach drop. So, it was true? My head felt clouded as I stepped away. I shut my eyes tight to try and hold back some tears, but I cried silently anyways.
"Winnifred, are you alright?" The young man asked me, his voice was filled with concern. I shook my head and moved to the front door. I swung the red door open and stormed inside. A weird mixture of anger and sadness filled my heart. How could he have done this to me? I stormed into the kitchen, where the fireplace flared.
My heart couldn't bear to let the scene in front of me process. My sweet and handsome Jack was kissing another woman. The woman's neat brown hair cascaded her back. Her body wore just her undergarments. I gripped the wall. What a pitiful excuse for a man. 
"You liar!" I yelled, storming towards the two of them. I hit Jack on the shoulder and sobbed. "You filthy man! How dare you do this to me!" I hit him over and over again.
"Y-you weren't supposed to be back for another month! I promise this isn't what it looks like my darling!" He put up his arms to try and defend himself.
With thick tears in my eyes, I pulled off the ring he gave me. "And what does that have to do with this? you son of a-"  I turned to the girl who looked in just as much shock as he was.
"John, who in the hell is this woman, w-why does she have a ring?" The girl's face began to break apart.
"John? It's Jack! I'm his fiancé!" I yelled, holding out my ring.
The brunette girl opened her eyes wide," you said you were single and that's why you courted me!" She howled, tears formed in her eyes too,"two years!"
My jaw dropped. Two years? He's been unfaithful for me for two years? I threw the ring into the fireplace, which burned with the same rage that matched mine. I turned back to Jack, who now was hunkered in the corner and raised a hand to him.
"Matron!" Edmund yelled from the doorway, I lower my hand. He came to me and grabbed me by the arm,"we must go." He began to pull me from the room, leaving the poor brunette girl sobbing to herself on the fireplace mantle.
"Send my regards to hell!" I shot at Jack one last time.
I felt some pity in my heart for her. She believed he loved her just like I did. I watched their shadows disappear as Edmund lead me outside. Something inside felt numb. "Matron, what happened?" Edmund addressed. I did nothing but cry. What a terrible man. How can someone convince another that they love them deeply and then do the same to another? Edmund, unsure of what to do besides embracing me to tried and calm me down. I felt almost bad for him too. He had no idea what he got himself into, and to be honest, I don't think I did either. Needless to say, my heart was shattered.