Doubt Thou Stars Are Fire

Chapter Six

The soft noise of distant thunder promised rain as I sat to myself late at night. I began to chew my lip, I faced two problems. Dealing with an emotionally and physically distant fiancé and a love struck Captain, and then helping with Florence's mother's sudden death. Florence fell asleep hours ago, and yet I kept myself awake with these thoughts repeating the same questions over and over. Do I leave a distant fiancée for some man I've known for less than a week? I flowed through the camp, like storm that began to roll through the fields. The trees swayed in the wind as if they were dancing to the flashes of the oncoming lightening. I felt a shiver down my spine, something was about to change. I wasn't sure what it was but I had an idea about it. Like teardrops, the rain fell onto me, causing me to leave the night and return to my tent. I kept my eyes low on the walk back. Something uneasy settled inside.
_________________
The morning's clouded sky welcomed another day. I pushed into Florence's tent. She sat up, staring out at the same wall she was last night. "Flo, have you eaten anything?" I sat down next to her. The only thing she did, and could do was shake her head. I furrowed my brows and ran to get her an apple from the orchard.
Sure, I felt guilty stealing from a farmer again, but it was for Florence, it can't be that bad. Light dwindled through the apple trees. I found an apple which was the most beautiful color of crimson. I picked it from the tree and began to walk back. I remembered I saw no coffee sitting on the desk as I got up this morning. The smell usually filled the small space, it's absence made me sleepy when I returned to see Florence asleep in her bed. I frowned and set the apple near her head and headed off. Not seeing her in the morning being talkative made me miss her.
As soon as I left her tent, I was flooded by younger nurses. "Where's the food?" One of them shouted at me.
I widened my eyes,"What in God's name do you mean there's no food?" I asked, looking around.
"Matron Florence leaves it out for us to distribute." I tall and older nurse shot back.
"I...I'll take care of this." I pursed my lips and headed back to Florence's tent and began to shake her awake.
"..N-no! Madre!" She shouted.
"No, it's Winnie, not your mother." I watched her eyes open,"where in the hell is the food?"
Her eyes were crusted and the dark bags sitting under them looked deep purple. "They...They should be in the wagon behind my tent." She groaned and let her self down into the sheets. I sighed and let her go.
Sure enough, there the wagon was. I began to pull off plates, eventually I called the other nurses to come help me take food down, I gazed at the sun, rising in the sky. The food was supposed to be out already. I cursed and began to plate bread, and salted meat onto the plates and giving them out. A young nurse who looked to be only twelve was filling mugs with water to be sent out. Sweat beaded on my forehead as I pushed out the last two plates. "Do you do this every morning?" I asked the girl.
She turned her deep brown eyes to me,"mostly, but we've never been in a rush like this, where's Matron Florence?"
"She's sick at the moment." I smiled and tried to let her know there was nothing to be concerned about. She simply smiled back.
"I hope she gets better soon, I don't want her to join the soldiers." She joked.
I chuckled and shook my head,"it's nothing to worry about." I told her. It's shameful to admit that lying is my best quality.
Once again, I walked into Benjamin's tent and found him standing up instead of lying in bed. I debated on going in at first but I did anyways. I was shocked to see him walking,"Captain! You really should be lying down." I tried to lead him back to bed.
"Benjamin, Winifred, Benjamin." He tried to smile,"I'm fine." He looked as if he was hiding much pain behind his face.
"Whatever, Ben, you should be lying down, you're going to hurt yourself." I gave him a weak smile back,"and it's Winnie, not Winifred."
He rolled his eyes playfully,"The doctor said I needed to walk, you know, to get sun and exercise."
I pushed back last night's memories,"Sure, and you were going to ask me to walk with you, weren't you?" I joked.
"You must be a prophet," his grin was absolutely contagious. His flirtations began to draw me in again. I didn't want to ignore them, so I didn't stop him.
"Of course I am, I can also tell you the ground is going to be quite wet."
"How come?"
"It rained."
"Must have slept through it it."
"Must have." I smiled and led him out the door. His steadiness faltered as we headed around the camp. We both earned a few glances over by soldiers and nurses alike, I kept my eyes on the whispering nurses. If there were any romours to be started, I'm engaged, I hope they wouldn't think I was dishonorable and low enough in morale to be committing infidelity. Even though the thought crossed my mind, I wouldn't ever find it in myself to do it. I felt Ben's eyes gaze upon me. I offered a soft smile and a quick look back to the ground. He was too handsome. His blue eyes were so soft and clear. The slight stubble grew on his face made his rough appearance somehow more manlier.
"You look better in the sun." He said, holding my hand. He faltered again and nearly fell forward. I caught him and put his arm around my shoulder.
"You look better when your face isn't in the mud." I played.
He chuckled to himself,"You certainly aren't dainty."
"What makes you say that?"
"Most matrons, or nurses, would have called a solider to help me survey the camp." He tried not to put his weight on me. I felt my ankle begin to ache, I wasn't about to let him down.
"I'm stronger than I look, Ben." I smiled,"is there anywhere else you'd want to go in particular?"
He shook his head and limped on,"No," he murmured. I caught the noise of more hushed whispers.
"Whatever you want, Captain." I let him off my shoulder after the pressure of supporting him on my own began to hurt too much,"How about you try taking a few steps by yourself?" I kept a hand on him to keep Ben steady. He followed my words and started in a steady gait, only to then to lean on a tree.
"I don't know why it's so hard to walk." He grunted,"This is ridiculous."
"You've been off your feet for awhile, I would be surprised if they weren't numb." I pursed my lips,"Besides, your legs are getting used to having weight on them again." I leaned against the tree. The autumn wind drifted my hair into my face.
"You're quite smart, Winnie." He moved the hair from my face. 
"Don't flatter me, Tallmadge." I grinned at his blue eyes.
"Matron Winifred!" I heard a voice yell. The girl that filled mugs this morning ran to me with a letter in her hand,"I got a letter for you!" She called out to me. Once she came near, she shoved the letter to me. She panted through her words,"I...The..The messenger told me to bring it to you as soon as possible."
I took the letter from her and smiled,"I guess it must be urgent." I glanced over at Ben again. Like usual, his steady eyes were gazing upon me.
"'It is, may I leave now Mrs. Artois?" The girl finally began to settle down.
"Of course, dear." I read the letter. Addressed to me from my sister, Alice? She barely writes to me unless its gossip or news from my parents. I guess there isn't much else to talk of when you're part of a wealthy family. The young girl ran off. "Do you mind?" I didn't even look up at him.
"Not at all, who's it from?"
"My sister," I answered Ben,"she never writes to me about anything important so don't expect anything." I began to tear the letter open. Gingerly, I removed the letter and thumbed it over before opening it.

My Dearest Winnie, I have the most unfortunate news for you. Now, I don't know if this is necessarily true, but I do know that you and your beloved Fiancé, Jack, are apart of the romours. No one wanted to tell you what happened, but Sally mentioned that she saw Jack with a prostitute, and that Mary Heeler. The same Mary Heeler whose father owns the mending shop across from our Father's. Never have I imagined Jack would be apart of such scandalous behavior. I apologize for not getting this to you sooner. Please come home soon. Jack's name is being slandered across the city, I cannot bear to let them see you as the weak one in this. Smite him or let him beg forgiveness. Evermore, I am disgusted with His crudeness. Please come home, please. Your affectionate older sister, Alice.

My heart stopped. Everything around me stopped for only a moment. He...cheated? I was only gone for three days, less than a week. I bit my lip and began to tremble. I can't believe that he'd do such a low thing. I shook my head and leaned back to the tree. My knees began to feel weak.
"Winnie..." Ben said softly,"what did it say?"
My only response was shaking my head. How could this happen? I'm a respectable woman. I did everything I could to please Jack. Even if that meant sex, even if I didn't want it. I put up with his distance. I let him do as he please. I whimpered and out my head in my hand. More tears flew from my eyes. Damnit, why me? Sure, Ben was handsome and very respectable. I would never leave my fiancée for him though. I'm loyal.
"Winifred, please..." Ben said, putting an arm around me. I shoved the paper into his hands.
"Then read it yourself, god damnit!" I cried. The anger and sadness was all too sudden. Florence hinted on it. I never thought she would be right. I thought I meant more to Jack than that. I shook my head and closed my eyes. I tried to remember his dark curly hair. His beautiful eyes. I tried to remember how they looked at me whenever we engaged. I tried to remember how he looked whenever we first met in my aunt's garden.
"Oh, god..." Ben dropped the letter and hugged me tightly, he wobbled for a moment but regained his balance. I began to cry onto his shoulder with muffled sobs. How could this have happened? The garden smelled so nice when I met him. Why in the hell does this happen to me? I'm helping me country, OUR country by helping the wounded and the sick! So, then Jack thinks it's okay for him to lie and to commit such a crime against "the woman he loves." What a lie. What a fucking lie. Tears, hot with pure anger began to roll down my pale cheeks. Ben stroked my kept curly red hair.
"I'm so sorry," he cooed to me.
"I'm going to kill that selfish basta-" Benjamin cut me off swiftly.
"We will not make emotion based decisions right now. We don't even know if this is true, it's gossip." He replied. Ben picked up the letter and handed it to me,"I recommend you write to him tonight, or go see him. If needed, I'd gladly be by your side if you do go see him."
"Would you?" I asked. Maybe, seeing that I have friends in higher places, especially those as handsome as Benjamin, it would make that fiend jealous. Ben nodded to me.
"Whatever would make you most comfortable would be my pleasure." He smiles at me genuinely. Was he happy that this happened? I bit my lip and nodded.
"And you too, my Captain."
"My Captain?" He smirked, trying to be playful.
"I didn't stutter." I gave him a weak smile and batted his shoulder,"let's get you back inside." I declared while whiling the stray tears under my eyes. I felt myself become dizzy, the land in front of my faded in and out, until it finally went black.

// Hey guys, I'm glad you guys seem to like this book! I'm trying my best at the moment but I'm dealing with writer's block at the moment so please deal with me. I apologize, it will get busy soon so my posting might be a little bit crazy, but I'll try my best to keep in somewhat in order. Thank you! Don't forget to vote and leave a comment. Your word's help me continue with all of this silly writing. Much love.