Bal: it starts with me & you

Together

*she must've spent twenty minutes in the floor in tears, she knew it was upsetting the twins but she just couldn't bring herself to stop, even to get up and do anything to calm them, she couldn't even calm herself, but it was then, twenty minutes later she had managed to come to her conclusion and in that moment she found it within herself to get up and wipe away her tears, it was no longer sadness that filled her heart but instead something else entirely, she was trying to find her balance half way between the island girl she's been raised as and the Auradon queen she was supposedly expected to become, this was where she would draw the line, she had a fire within her, it was with love she maintained it but as she stormed into their bedroom where Ben was led, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep, his mind still racing twenty minutes later*
Mal: we are not doing this
*her sudden appearance and rather harsh tone brought a surprised Ben out of his daze, not expecting her to be there, he knew he'd screwed up, he always knew when he had and every single screw up he'd ever made still haunted him*
Ben: what?
Mal: you aren't walking out on me, I'm not letting you, we aren't doing this
Ben: Mal, I didn't walk out
Mal: don't even try and talk around this, we are not gonna do this whole pushing each other away thing, it never works, we just keep screwing up more when we do!
Ben: Mal...
Mal: no! Ben we're both hurt by this! This has screwed us both up! We can't do this anymore! We can't just shut down when there's a problem! We have to be a team now! They deserve that!
Ben: 'we can't just shut down when there's a problem'
Mal: what?
Ben: you literally just said that
Mal: uhhh
Ben: WHEN THE FUCK HAVE I EVER DONE THAT, ITS ALL YOU EVER DO AND EVERY TIME I HAVE TO CLAW MY WAY BACK IN BECAUSE YOU CANT JUST ACCEPT YOU NEED ME! I NEVER DO THAT SO CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME A BREAK THIS ONE TIME!
Mal: YOU'RE RIGHT OKAY?! BUT I CANT JUST LET YOU GO OFF ON YOUR OWN AND PUSH ME OUT, I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU OKAY?! I CANT HANDLE ANY OF THIS WITHOUT YOU! I KNOW THAT I HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY ANY OF THIS BUT BEN I NEED YOU!
*the intensity of the situation was immense, neither one could identify why they were yelling at each other, but then Mal found herself shocked when Ben moved to sit up, he moved the sheets out of his way and began to stand up, Mal was frozen to the spot watching him, the man who couldn't even get half way up to get his son twenty minutes ago was now forcing himself to stand, she watched as he took careful steps to walk towards her, very unsteady and she could see how straining he was finding it, but he did it, he got all the way to her, nearly falling over a few times in the process, each time he did her heart dropping as he did, but every time he regained himself and forced himself to walk all the way to her, it wasn't a great distance but it was much more than he should have been doing or should have been able to manage to do, once he was stood before her they stood there, just staring at each other for a few moments before he instinctively wrapped his arms around her, she shut her eyes and hugged him back, resting her head against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat*
Ben: we are a team, I will never push you out
Mal: you can't just walk away then
Ben: I know
Mal: we both got screwed up by this
Ben: I know we did Mal
*silence falls upon them as they both begin to acknowledge how huge and life altering what had happened was, after a few moments Mal began to notice how shaky Ben was once again becoming and realised he couldn't remain stood up*
Mal: you have to rest
Ben: I'm alright
Mal: you're shaking, this isn't the rest you're supposed to be getting
Ben: alright then, I'll sit down in the nursery
Mal: you should probably rest properly
Ben: babe you really need to make your mind up because I'm either resting in bed or I'm in the nursery with you, it doesn't work both ways
Mal: then come sit with us?
Ben: of course
Mal: you want some help?
Ben: well I'm definitely not gonna get there on my own, I don't really fancy falling flat on my face
*with her help he manages to take it a step at a time and make it to the nursery where she makes sure he's alright as he sits down in the floor, she brings Mason over to him then slightly nervously scoops up Bella who seems much more content once again, something which allows Mal to come back and sit against the adjacent wall*
Mal: how do we get past this? How do we deal with all this?
Ben: if I ever figure out the answer to that I'll let you know
Mal: Ben, what happens now?
Ben: what do you mean?
Mal: all of this, what do we do?
Ben: honestly? I'm kinda hoping there's someone who figures that one out for me
Mal: I don't think they can
Ben: I know, but I've spent my life with unrealistic dreams so just let me keep going in my happy little world where things go the way I want them to
Mal: has any of this ever gone there way you wanted it to?
Ben: you did, the twins did, Evie, Carlos and Jay fitting in here did, some things go my way even if it doesn't all do that
Mal: do you....do you mind if I go see her tomorrow?
Ben: Mal, is that really a good idea?
Mal: I just have to see it for myself, see her for myself, I just have to see that she's really gone with my own eyes
Ben: but you were there, you did it
Mal: I know I was, but please, I just need to be sure I really did it
Ben: I'm not going to stop you
Mal: what happens about your father?
Ben: he'll be laid to rest with our ancestors in the royal crypt as is tradition
Mal: what do I do?
Ben: Mal?
Mal: well you're in mourning for your father, what am I supposed to be? I can't openly mourn my mother, I don't even know if I want to, am I supposed to just not be there? I mean my mother did it, what do I do?
Ben: whatever you want to do
Mal: they'll probably want to throw a damn party because she's dead, I didn't do it to stop her, I know I should say I did but I didn't, I did it for revenge, just out of spite, but I still don't want to see it being celebrated
Ben: the people aren't like that Mal, they're not going to do that when you are who you are, even if they did, I'd condemn it, I'm not going to stand by and watch you be humiliated by them making a mockery of your mother, no matter what she did
Mal: the people don't even know, they don't know either of them are dead, they don't know what happened to you, they just know there was a threat and it was neutralised
Ben: if only it were that simple
Mal: can we....can we not tell them it was me, I would prefer to keep that quiet
Ben: as far as your mother is concerned Mal you call the shots
Mal: but I don't
Ben: you're right
Mal: who is in charge of what happens to her?
Ben: I don't know, but I promise, I will do my best to make sure that you get as much of a say as you can
Mal: Ben you have to promise me you won't stick your neck out for me on this one, she's not worth it
Ben: but you are, I'm not having you get hurt because of who she was, she's already taken my father from me, she's not leaving you in disgrace or hurting you any more than she already has
Mal: can we please just try and keep this as mess free as possible, everything has been so messy for so long, I need something to not be like that
Ben: I'll try my best
Mal: just promise me that no matter what happens we're gonna stick together, that's all I really need
Ben: we'll always stick together

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AHHHH THIS IS SO BAD BECAUSE IT ALL GOT MUDDLED AND PROBABLY SHOULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS BUT I JUST KEPT WRITING SO NOW ITS IN ONE BUT YEAH HERE YA GO ILL BE BACK WITH MORE REALLY SOON! Xoxo