It all changes

4. Changes

It was mom. She had been drunk as per usual. The house ha been tortured. There was not one bit of furniture left in it's perfect state.

Me: what have you done?!!

I knew I would've regretted saying that later on but it had to be said.

Mom: you little bitch, get here now.

Me: Why do you have to do this mom. Ever since dad left all you do is get drunk and beat me up. Is this the life you want to lead.

Mom burst into tears. I walked over to her and hugged her tight. Seeing her upset also made me cry.

Mom: I'm sorry baby. I was just angry and if I do this again to you please remind me not to. It's just that ever since your father left us I didn't know what to do. He left us in a bad state and I can't forgive myself.

Me: what happened between you two?

Mom: the day he decided to leave I was.. pregnant. I didn't want another baby at the time so I decided to take some drugs to kill it. But..... your dad... he left. He called me a worthless pile of shit.

Mom sobbed whilst telling me.

Me: mom I love you. It doesn't matter what you did in the past. That's over now. Lets both start a new life together.

Mom: I love you honey.

We both got up and made dinner together after an emotional evening. I thought to myself everything is gonna change.

I had never done anything like this with my mom. I hadn't been this happy in a long time. I loved this so much. I hadn't seen her smile this much since dad left.

Just that little talk made out moods from under the ground to higher than the moon. I felt ecstatic.

7:00pm

Ugh I have so much homework for Monday. I took out my school books and started to study. I didn't have any friends to hang out with. So I exert to studying. Mom would always ask me why I don't go out with my friends. I'd just shrug my shoulders and change the subject. Everyone would be making plans to go out and eat etc. but I was the one left out all the time. I wasn't going to tell mom that I was depressed because it would just be too much to handle. If I told her she would look at me in a different way.

Finally I finished my work and headed off to bed. I grabbed my phone from the desktop and surfed the Internet for 2 hours.

I logged on to Facebook and had 23 notifications! I opened the first one and read it:

Hannah: Sami did a poo in the irks toilets yesterday. Eww.

WHAT THE HELL!!!

She even posted a pic which was obviously not mine.

Chantelle: Hahaha she probably licked it off the floor.

I couldn't read anymore. I burst into tears.

Why are they doing this to me. It doesn't make sense.

I slammed my phone down on the bedside table. I took my blade and slit deep into my skin again and again and again.....

I woke up to someone sitting on my bed. It was mom. I smiled at her as i adjusted my eyes to the morning light. "You have to school now" she said gently. I rolled over and my smile disappeared.

Mom: what's up Sami

Me: I don't want to go

Mom: come one you have to go why happened? is someone bullying you?

Me:

Mom: aww okay you can take the day off today.

Me: thanks mom

She left me to go to sleep and exited my room shutting the door as she left. We did have a long night yesterday so maybe she understood that I didn't want to go back to school but in reality it was because of what everyone was saying on Facebook.

Mom is really making a change in herself.

I was sitting on my bench in school. Hannah and Maria came over to me and stabbed me with knives. One in my neck and the other in my heart. Twenty more knives fell from the sky. As I looked up they sliced through my eyes. Blood was dripping down my body. They all surrounded me and laughed and laughed and laughed.....

"AAGGHH" I yelled realising it was only just a dream. Mom rushed into my room and quickly said " what happened!" I looked up at her and he saw I was crying. "Aww honey" she came up to me and gave me a hug. "Do you want to come and have some dinner. I made pizza, your favourite."
"Thanks mom."

I got up out of bed and brushed my teeth. As I made my way downstairs I could smell something so delicious. It was pizza.

I ran into the kitchen and mom had cut out 2 big slices of pizza for me. "Here you go darling. It's nice and fresh."

I gobbled it up; sat on the sofa and watched 'how I met your mother' on the tv.

When things are going okay in life everything turns your back on you and all you want to do is die.