It all changes

13

I didn't know what to do after that. It was too much for me. I have never had anyone say they love me. It was a big change and I couldn't handle it. I didn't go back to the place; I feared seeing Adam again. I didn't want to make that commitment. I'm not good enough for him. He deserved someone better. Someone who isn't broken like me. Someone who will smile and is beautiful. That is not me. That will never be me. No matter how hard I try. I can never be like the other girls.

Finally, my mom had come back from wherever she was.. I was so worried about her. Even though she didn't care about me.

Me: where were you, mom?

Mom: it's all your fault. Everything is.

Me: mom, what are you talking about?

Mom: ALL BECAUSE OF YOU YOUR DAD LEFT ME!!

Me: what do you mean?

At this point I was breaking into tears.

Mom: ever since I have birth to you your dad left me alone. He abandoned me because of you.

Me: Mom don't say that! You're lying to me! dad only left because he... he...

Mom: exactly, you don't even know yourself why he left. It was because of you! now I have give this house away to him too!

Me: so is that what the letter was about?!

Mom: Ye and now you will have no where to stay.

Me: how is it all my fault?!

Mom: your dad didn't want any kids and I got pregnant but it was too late for abortion.

Me: ...

Mom: he forced me into having sex all the time. He was so violent towards me and beat me up for everything. I had no choice to do what I had done.

Me: what did you do?

Mom: I stopped taking contraception and didn't tell him. I got pregnant and kept it away from him. He would beat me up because I didn't want sex. So I told him later on And we broke up.

I ran up to my room and slammed the door. I couldn't believe what had happened.

I got my phone and text becky.

Me: hey xx

Becky: heya xo

Me: you okay? xx

Becky: yeh I'm good wbu x

Me: yeh I'm fine

Becky: you sure? xo

I couldn't lie to her so I just ignored the question. We talked for a while longer and then I went down to eat. I was hungry and fat but I didn't care. The smell of pizza filled the air. I made my way to the dinner table and grabbed a slice of pizza which I put on my plate. I slowly ate it as my mom's eyes pierced through my body. The atmosphere did not feel natural. What had she done? The sound of people laughing and having fun in the neighbourhood echoed through the walls. I was in this hell hole while everyone was being a normal teenager and smiling. I had an expressionless face. There was no light in me.

Mom was coming closer to me and sat on the chair right beside me.

I couldn't take it anymore so I ran to my room. I felt so sick so I laid down on my bed. There was a pecking noise at my window again. It was Adam. I walked over to the window, sobbing.

Me: what do you want?

Adam: princess, are you okay?

He had a huge smile on his face as soon as I came to the window but it disappeared when he really saw me.

He managed to climb up to my house as there were vines leading up to my bedroom window. He climbed inside and pulled me close to his body. "It's okay. Everything will be fine." He repeated to me whilst rubbing my tears away. He was so gentle and caring. Why does he live a mess like me? I'm ugly and I can never get a guy like him. People will laugh at me. I'm a freak and I have to deal with that. My north was a mistake. My mom didn't want me alive and my dad left us because of me. Everything bad that happens is because of me. My fault.

Me: I'm sorry Adam. You can't be here.

Adam: what's wrong princess?

Me: I.. I... you just can't be here. Sorry.

Adam: okay. If that's what you want darling.

He winked at me and left my room.

I turned around to see my bed and saw that he left a rose. I picked it up and placed it into a glass of water to keep it alive.

Suddenly, a drop of blood fell into the water. My nose was pouring with blood. What is going on. I fell to the ground. The earth had blanked me out. I had no one to help me.

......