The Beauty Of A Broken Man

Secrets Damage The Soul

Later that night, we ate dinner quietly when he asked, "do you still have something you wish to talk with me about?"

"Yes and no." I replied in almost a whisper.

"I think you would feel better if you got it out." He convinced me with a reassuring smile. He was honestly one of my favorite people, besides Hagrid, but the trio was always hogging his time. Remus has a 'therapist' vibe to him, and I sort of looked up to him as a father figure. He was a great listener and always had perfect advice on anything you threw at him, which is why I felt a little confident to confide this secret with him.

"Let's start from the beginning... Just promise me you won't get mad," he nodded and I continued, "so, Severus and I... we were a thing. Shocking, I know... Anyway, we did some things that a professor and student shouldn't have done... multiple times, actually, and now I'm... I-I'm pregnant." I looked down embarrassed and not wanting to see his face.

Tonks, who had been eating silently, had her mouth gaped open in surprise as Remus stood with anger, "how could Severus do this to such a child!"

"In his defense, I'm seventeen now and it wasn't like he used me or anything. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him, so he thinks the secret I'm holding from him has something to do with you and I."

"That bastard! He got Lily killed, and now he's ruined your life!" He slammed his fists down on the table, making Tonks get up to try and calm him.

"N-no, it isn't like that!" I stood up without realizing that I had rolled my sleeves up out of nervousness when I told him my secret.

He gripped his chest and breathlessly exclaimed, "and you're a death eater?!"

"T-that's a whole different story! See, I was caught by death eaters after they killed my best friend who had run away because she was also pregnant. The only way of surviving was to join!" I quickly explained with despair.

"Was that Severus', too?" He accused which crossed the line.

"How dare you! None of this is his fault! He wanted nothing to do with me, but I still pushed for a relationship, so if you want to hate someone, hate me!" I stormed to my door with tears streaming down before screaming, "and just F-Y-I, the father of hers was Fred Weasley!" I, then, slammed my door.

It took me some time, but I managed to fall asleep after the crying used the rest of my energy. I really wanted to see Severus and explain everything to him, but the fear of his rejected kept me from going through with that plan.

I heard a knock on the door just past sunrise. When I opened it, there stood a shamed looking Remus with a tray of breakfast, "I apologize for my reaction, last night... I should've handled things more rationally. Even if it were for a short time, you're stay last year as made me think of you as a daughter and thinking about what you told me... I couldn't help the dad blow."

I giggled at the term he used and also apologized, "I'm sorry for yelling at you and letting my new hormones get me all worked up. Let me join you for breakfast." He smiled and walked me out to the table where we discussed my situation calmly, figuring I would stay with him during the next school year.

Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned. Severus was also part of the Order, so each time he was called upon by Voldemort, he called a meeting with the Order, which included Remus. Because of the frequent meetings, and seeing Severus so often, Remus usually came back in a bad mood. I was usually alone due to all the meetings, but also because of Remus' werewolf condition. Most of the time, he would be gone for weeks to heal, Tonks usually with to help with the process. If she wasn't with him, she was out doing work for the Order or the Ministry.