cigarettes & a full moon

( 20 )

( 20 )

   "cole. what're you doing with her?" i heard felix's voice call. here i was thinking he wouldn't come back.

   "felix goldsworthy, my brother is still pissed at ya," cole smiles. once we reach the porch, where felix is standing, there's an awkward silence until i move to unlock the door, and felix stops me.

   "don't go in yet, anya," felix says, and the bad kind of butterflies fly around in my stomach, what is he thinking of doing..?

   "anything you wanna say, felix?" cole asks, sounding brave, but there has to be something getting to him, his eyes are clouded, and he's sporting a fake smirk.

    "i don't want you two-," felix begins, but cole cuts him off with a stone cold glare.

    "i'm leaving. you don't have to worry about her anymore, okay? but i just need five minutes with her. five, that's all i'm asking," cole says, and i give him a curious look, but his eyes are trained on felix's.

     "fine." he sighs. he walks into my house, and shuts the door behind him.

     "anya.." cole trails off, looking pained as he stares into my eyes. i hope he doesn't want to leave, i don't want him to leave...

      "cole, please stay," i whisper, barely any strength to my voice. i don't know all of him yet, he hasn't told me about his childhood, or why he suddenly decided to climb up that damn ladder, and introduce himself to my roof. there's not enough of him for me to hold onto, and the risk of forgetting him is weighing me down.

     "i can't, baby," he sighs, and my heart drops. this is not okay, he can't do this, he can't.

     "where are you going?" i question.

     "i don't know yet," he laughs, and he reaches his hand up and cups my cheek. i feel like i'm blushing like mad, and i probably am.

     "i've loved you, for a while, anya, and i'm sorry that i'm doing this to you, but that's why i have to leave." his eyes drop to my lips, and i'm begging him to kiss me. one last time, but he doesn't. he presses me against him, wrapping me into his arms, and suddenly i don't know why i'm so attached to him, and at the same time i do. it's the most confusing thing i've ever felt, and everything put together is driving me crazy.

       i push him off me, tears in my eyes, "you wouldn't do this if you didn't want to! you wouldn't have stayed, you knew what you were doing, cole, you wanted this!" i cried, pushing him each time he'd try to console me. for a second we just stand there, he's bewildered, and my tears make trails down my face.

       "time is up.." i hear felix say, and before i can give cole one more look i run into the house.

       "i didn't mean to," i hear cole say, and god he sounds so broken.

       "just leave, man." is felix's response, and then the door slams, and i feel empty, empty, empty.

     

     so, what did ya guys think? (;
     ILY ALL LOL DON'T KILL ME