Hazy Love: A Treebros Fic

Chapter Ten: You Deserve Better

Trigger Warning: Bullying, Abuse, Drugs, and Mentions of Suicide Attempt. I hope you guys enjoy, thanks for 400 reads!! XXX

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Connor quickly pulled away, face totally red. He was mortified; he looked at Evan, who was frozen, face equally red, lips slightly parted. Evan stared ahead, totally zoned out, trying to process what had just happened.

"God, Evan, I-I'm sorry, I- I don't know... God, I'm such a fuck up, Evan I understand. Don't feel pressured to do anything just... I'm so fucking stupid." Connor had tears pouring down his face as he pulled his knees to his chest, burying his head into his hands.

Evan watched Connor, unsure what to do. He was still shocked. Connor had kissed him. And... he liked it? But... he was straight, wasn't he? Evan was so confused, thoughts going a mile per minute. They sat in complete silence, the only sounds those of rustling and Connor's sobbing. Evan broke out of his trance after a moment, and he gulped, scooting closer to Connor.

Evan grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers. Connor looked up , staring at their hands, shocked at the physical contact; he had assumed Evan would hate him.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Connor continuing to cry, before Evan broke the silence.

"W-why?"

"Why what?" Connor replied, staring at the ground, out of tears. He sounded miserable.

"W-why me? I... I'm s-straight." Evan stared at the ground, incredibly confused. Connor looked up, holding his breath. "A-and, I, um, I a-already like s-someone else..." Connor deflated a bit, but he had expected this.

"Who?" Connors voice was monotone, and he didn't look at Evan.

Evan hesitated a moment, but decided that Connor deserved to know. He blushed, before stuttering out, "Z-Zoe?"Connor looked at Evan for a second, before beginning to laugh hysterically. Evan was shocked, releasing Connor's hand, watching him cautiously. Connor stopped laughing, wiping away a few tears in his eyes.

"Sorry Hansen, but you're out of luck. Zoe's dating someone else. You know Alana?" Evan's eyes went wide, and he looked at the ground, disappointed, but having expected it. Connor's heart broke seeing how hurt Evan looked. He grabbed Evan's hand again, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry Ev, that was uncalled for. God, I'm a total asshole. And on top of it, I'm a fucking idiot. How could someone like you ever someone like me?" Connor squeezed Evan's hand, looking away from him. Evan looked at Connor, genuinely confused and shocked.

"W-what do you m-mean? I... I'm h-hardly even a s-someone. I... I have a-anxiety, I f-freak out when someone e-even l-looks at me, a-and I h-have to take med-medication to stay n-normal. M-mom is great, b-but s-he's never around b-because she h-has to pay f-for me by h-herself. D-dad left, and h-he never c-calls or w-wants to see m-me because I'm a mistake." Evan squeezed Connor's hand, huge tears rolling down his cheeks, eyes shut. Connor's eyes widened. Sure, he knew Evan had some issues, but he had never heard the smaller boy sound so... broken.

"Evan, look at me. In sixth grade, I started to drift away. I started getting bullied pretty damn bad. I always angry, sad, and just generally... stuck. I got into fights, cussed teachers and people out, and began to smoke. Mom tried to help after my first suicide attempt, but Larry was still convinced I had just done everything for attention." Connor spat bitterly, trying to regain composure, "Anyways, he refused to let me get help. So I turned to drugs, mostly pot and shit. I pulled away from everyone. If someone here is a fuck-up, it's me." Connor sucked in a breath, tears lining his eyes. He gave Evan a sad smile.

"Connor..." Evan said, choking back tears. Connor pulled him into a tight hug, both openly sobbing now.  Evan was the first to pull away, and Connor looked at him, tears coming to a stop. He put a hand on Evan's face, wiping away the remaining tears that ran down Evan's cheeks. Evan blushed lightly.

"C-Connor, c-can... um... canIkissyou?" Evan quickly said. Connor chuckled, leaning down, and the two shared a sweet, tender kiss. They remained like that for awhile, before Connor pulled away, seeming upset. He avoided Evan's gaze, choosing instead to watch the ground.

"C-Con? D-did... did I do s-something wrong?" Connor's head shot up. He felt like an asshole, but he was scared. He breathed in deeply before finally looking at Evan.

"Ev... you deserve better than who I am. At least, right now. Evan Hansen, I like you. But I can't... I can't hurt you. So... I'm gonna go to rehab. I'm gonna work this shit out so I can be who you deserve. You don't need an unhealthy relationship on top of everything. But, I need your help Ev." Connor smiled at him, reassuring the boy. Evan had tears in his eyes, and he threw his arms around Connor. Connor took a moment to adjust, but he squeezed Evan tightly, loving the warmth of Evan's small body. Evan lifted his head, looking Connor in the eyes.

"I'm so proud of you, Connor Murphy." He crumpled into Connor, snuggling against the taller boy. Connor's eyes yet again filled with tears, and he ran his hands through Evan's hair. They stayed like that until they were asleep, a tangle of limbs and love.

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A/N: Yay! Connor is finally getting help. I wonder who he'll meet at rehab... HMMMM. Anyways, see you guys in the next Author's Note, I have some things to explain. Love you guys! <3