One and the Same

42

Maria could feel her mother shaking against her body, tears streaming down her shoulder, -'Mom, I'm here, take it easy' she chuckled, wiping away some of her own tears, -'I know that, I just missed you so much...why did you do that to me', she looked at her daughter in the eye and held her shoulders, -'Why girl? All I've ever done is love you, every single second of my life since before you were born...', Maria looked down, -'I was seeking a new life' she whispered, -'A more normal life I guess. Wanted to forget about all this' she pointed around the house, Gaga frowned, -'Come here, sit down', Maria and her mom sat down, -'Is this a new couch?', -'Yeah, Gustav bit a hole into the old one', Gaga chuckled and sniffled, now getting serious, -'Why would you ever want something other than this?', -'Because THIS distracts people from the person that I am, okay? I have to dig deep to find good friends, every personal relationship I have has the potential of being absolutely fake. And that hurts me', Gaga now looked away, -'I'm sorry if that's the life you think I've given you. I've tried my best. I tried my best going through high school and graduating with honours  feeling sick all the time. I tried my best giving birth to you. I tried my best sustaining you at 17 years old. I tried my best working hard so we could have a good life and...I'm sorry again, if that's what you think of all the effort I have made for both of us', Maria sobbed and shook her head, -'I don't wanna be ungrateful but you say it all the time too! Having all this is worthless without quality human interaction. THAT's that I was seeking when I was with dad...', Gaga looked away and held Maria's hand so tight her knuckles turned white, -'So what happened with your dad. Why are you here again?' , -'He told me to leave because I didn't have no money left. He kicked me out on the street. Made me gather my shit, say bye to my siblings...he even ordered me an Uber to the airport. 11pm, freezing cold and my father just kicked me out', Gaga was holding back so hard she felt her chest tightening. So she gave in. 'i told you so' she whispered with a sarcastic chuckle, -'Didn't I?' , -'Yes you did mommy', -'Mhm and one day you'll learn how to trust me fully. So your learned a lesson', -'I learned that he's trash but I'm missing my siblings', Gaga nodded, -'That's understandable', -'And his wife is pregnant again and I wanted to stay there with her and just...BE there for her', that made Gaga finally cry, -'...Why are you crying?', -'I have thought of what would've happened if the miscarriage hadn't occurred. You would've been a great big sister you know?', -'Awww...stop it mom, it's all in the past now. I don't wanna see you sad anymore about that, ok?', Gaga nodded and collected herself. Her demeanour changed to the strong, stern and intimidating authority figure she was, -'So you learned a lesson?', -'Yes, a hard one, but I did learned', Gaga smiled wide and nodded, -'I'm happy you're here' she kissed her and hugged her tight.