One and the Same

47

-'So you like this color palette?' She asked Lukas as they went through a digital wedding magazine. Lukas grabbed the iPad and squinted at it, -'I mean if it's gonna happen outside, do we really need a color palette?', Gaga shrugged, -'I'm just saying. Just to have a reference', Lukas nodded, -'I see what you mean', Gaga sighed deeply -'Okay well, at least we got most of the decoration ready. As in flowers and stuff', Lukas laid his head on her shoulder, -'We could be getting married behind a dumpster and I still wouldn't mind. As long as I'm marrying you', -'AWWWWW baby! What the fuck, that's so cute of you to say', Lukas blushed and kissed her shoulder, -'It's true Stef! Now, come on, you have to finish packing', Gaga sighed deeply and nodded, -'Can you believe I'm going on tour again in two days', Lukas shook his head, -'Nah. I'm so proud of you'.

The night was pretty cold but Gaga liked it that way. She turned off all the lights and went upstairs and out the balcony, watching Lukas sleep peacefully. She lit up a cloved cigar and poured herself a glass of cold white wine, just perfect. She stared off into her property, could see the ocean waves crashing in the distance, and the stars peeking around the hills. Maria came into the room and smelled the smoke of the cigar. She loved it, she was used to it.
-'What's up' Gaga asked without even turning around, Maria stood still and shrugged, -'Nothing. Can I be out here?', -'No', -'Oh, I-', -'I was joking, come on, here's a chair. Want some wine and a cigar?', Maria frowned, -'No, mom! Wha-', -'Don't take me for a fool...anyway, what's up', Maria saw that her mother had her eyes closed, she looked so relaxed. Or maybe it was just the wine.
-'I know we havent talked a lot lately' she began, -'Is it because of something I did?', Gaga chuckled, -'Of course. But I try to forget about it every day' Maria looked down, -'I just wanted to say I'm sorry...', 'I know you will still be sexually active. So I'm gonna tell you a horror story. How about that?', Maria's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets, -'Here we go. So you gain weight so fast you can barely keep up with it. Even if you don't want to. Fucking lettuce makes you fat. Not to mention the feeling of being breathless every minute of every day, your joints hurt, your back hurt, your feet hurt. And everyone around you is trying to tell you how beautiful this stage in your life is. You sweat a lot so you start feeling like a farm animal instead of like, a person. Then the child decides it's just time to burst out of your body, right? You feel like a chainsaw has gone crazy inside you and it's splitting you in half from your guts out. It hurts so bad you scream but instead of actually screaming you just puke on yourself like a fucking loser. Mind you, there's people talking to you and touching you at all times. And you wanna stab them all and hang them from a fence at this point. And then as the actual birth is happening you feel like someone just let an electric knife lose on your vagina, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Then the child is born and everyone expects you to be happy and smile as if you haven't just endured absolute medieval torture for fifteen hours straight. And minutes after that, the nurses force you to feed it and it feels like your fucking tits are gonna fall off your chest. And people expect you to fucking smile', Gaga made eye contact with her daughter, -'I'm not telling you this to make you feel comfortable, I'm here to tell you exactly how it was for me. Does that sound like fucking fun to you?', Maria shook her head, -'No', Gaga gave her a nod, -'No. exactly. Take better care of your god damn self, I don't wanna hear how sorry you are, I wanna know if you learn a lesson', 'Y-yeah...I guess', -'Whenever you wanna have sex without protection again, remember what I just told you and maybe you won't do something so DUMB, thank you'.