Becoming Kelly

Amerie

I laid on my bed as I contemplated whether or not to send Air to Savoir. He said he’ll come to me if I do. A lot has been on my mind and their isn’t anyone to talk to about it with. He would help heaps. I mean, I could probably send Air to Anila and she would be here in a heart beat. But then again she’s probably doing something and she’ll act like she isn’t. But I know her, She was always willing to drop everything to me. 

Ever since I was young its been like that with her. That's actually one of the signs that your an advocate. You have this one person who is not only your best friend but you can trust with your life. You can trust that they would die for you. An unconditional love you can’t explain.

 In all honesty, when I realized all the things that Anila would do for me that none of my friends would even dare to do, I freaked out. I told my mom and she said that its a sign that i’m meant for so much. Mom said that Anila will be the one to follow me wherever life may take me. Turns out, only Advocates are given what Anila is to me.

I was meant to be an Advocate. Anila was even assigned to me. I don't belong on earth. BUT LOOK WHERE I AM! I slammed my fist into my pillow. I flipped over onto my stomach and screamed into my pillow. After letting out some of my anger on the unsuspecting grey suede throw pillow, I got up and looked out the window.

 Sunset seemed to be settling in soon, maybe in half in hour. I yanked all my clothes off and wrapped a towel around myself as I picked my shower caddy. After I showered, I stepped into Delia’s room to find something to wear. You could imagine my surprise when I saw cork boards placed on every wall. The bland beige color of her walls were barely visible. On the cork boards were lots of photos of people I’ve never seen. 

“Please disregard the boards on the walls.” I jump at the voice behind me. I look behind me as Delia zooms by. My eyes follow her. She seems to be walking with a confidence I hadn’t ever seen her walk with. 

 I hesitate but I ask her anyway. “Whats- whats going on in here?”

Delia sighed. “I’ve been neglecting my duties. I need to get back to pairing up.”

“This is how you pair up?”

“No, but the prayers are coming in by the thousands. These people believe they know who they belong with. They are so wrong sometimes. But sometimes they are right, its just that its the wrong time for them to be with that person. Meeting and dating the wrong one is a good thing! You grow up, realize whats important, and what you need in a partner. If it weren’t for your experiences the couple could fall apart. Its all about timing.”

“Oh.”

“Going somewhere today?” Delia asked me as she placed more head shoots next to other head shoots with a tack.

“I- yeah. I’m going to Savoir’s home today. I’m hoping he’ll swing by there today.”

“Why?”

“Well, I want to rid myself of Elizabeth already. I’m done mourning for someone I never knew.”

“You sound like such a cold person. If I didn't know you better, I would think you were the angel of death.”

“I know it is hard to understand. But she haunts me. Her opinions mean nothing to me. Her thoughts are becoming mine. I want to be my own person again.”

“Is meditation not enough anymore?”

“Meditation was an out for me. I need to face this problem head on.”