2.9 | early morning talks

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"Hey, Minmin! You're awake!"

"You are too... Is something wrong? It's two in the morning..."

"Nope, nothing's wrong at all!"

"..."

"Y-your voice."

"What about my voice?"

"You sound like you're lying."

"Pfft, no I'm not."

"Y-your voice gives it away."

"How so, Minmin?"

"..."

"You sound like there's a rock in your throat. Like you're trying not to cry right now. What's wrong? Another nightmare woke you up and now you can't sleep?"

"Who said I was asleep in the first place? I'm fine, Minmin. Nothing to worry about at all! Heck, if I wanted to fall asleep, I'll go ahead and count sheep. But I hate calculating how many sheeps there are so I'll probably play this song from a Barbie movie called Barbie as the Island Princess. You know that song she sings when Tika couldn't sleep? That song always makes me sleepy."

"..."

"When I was young, I wasn't like this."

"What?"

"When I was young, I used to be confident and able to speak well. In front of an entire crowd."

"W-what happened then?"

"Middle school. Middle school happened."

"Oh."

"I was in a new school but I easily befriended people. Until this one guy thought it'd be fun to make me his target. So he bullied me everyday. Took my lunch money. Called me names. Beat me up for fun. My self-esteem started decreasing when people slowly joined him with the name calling. Eventually... I developed social anxiety. It isn't that severe where I need a therapist. I don't shake that much but my heart does beat really fast whenever I need to talk."

"Seungmin, I... I didn't know..."

"When you first called me, I was reluctant to pick it up but I thought it could've been an old friend. I didn't know what I was thinking but I... I answered. And then you spoke to me. You called me. You... you... you made me feel a little better, in a way."

"Seungmin..."

"I don't know how to say it properly. Maybe it was because you didn't judge me at all. You didn't know what I looked like so that made me feel less insecure."

"Well, of course. I don't care if you're good looking or not. I've seen what you're like. You're an amazing human being. And when you told my sister that I said I liked Chinhei better than you, that's not true. Okay, not entirely. I still love Chinhei too but you matter to me more."

"Point is... you're something good that has ever happened to me. I'm... I'm able to talk more. I don't stutter too much now."

"Wait, back then on the day of the competition, you weren't actually at the court from the start... were you?"

"No... I was by the fountain area. There were less people there."

"Ahh... I would've said something like, "So that's why I didn't see you there!" but then I remembered I didn't know what you looked like. Whoops. What a fail."

"So, uhh, what I'm really saying is that, if you have anything to share, you can always trust me. Those nightmares aren't there for no reason. There's always some sort of reason. Of course, if you don't want to tell me, you can. I respect your privacy."

"You're amazing, Seungmin. And there is. I'm... I'm just not ready to share it yet."

"Of course. I'm always ready to hear."


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