TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU

~Third Part~

"Alex, can I meet your new girlfriend?"
Alex puts me on the floor immediately and I turned around. It's him. "She's not my girlfriend," Alex shouts and wraps his hands around my waist. Really, Alex? "Oh, she's not? Well, then she'll be mine," Marc smiles. God, I've missed that smile! I look at Alex and then at Marc. "Marc, it's me, Sara. Your cousin," I waved in front of his eyes. Marc laughs: "Hahahahaha, yeah, sure. Her hair is dark and..." He stops talking and starts staring at me. "And?" I asked. "Oh, God! It's really you!! How is it possible that I didn't recognize you??? Come here!" he shouts and pulls me in strong embrace. "Finally!" I laughed and squeeze to him. I could stay like that forever.
"Marc, who's this?" Some girl asks. I get off of embrace and I start stepping back, but Marc pulled me closer to him again and gave me a kiss on a cheek. "My cousin. Why are you asking?" he said. "Oh, it looked different," that woman said. Who is she? "Sara, this is... ehm... Ruby. Ruby, this is Sara." We shook hands and she couldn't stop looking at me. "Nice to meet you," I said quickly. A-ha, so not true! "Yeah... same," she answers, then she steps closer to Marc and kisses him. You understand, right? She kisses him! With a tongue! I opened my mouth and my eyes almost fell out of surprise. I look at Alex, who shook with his head and covers his eyes. I looked down into the floor and waited for them to end up with their "eating each other".
"See you tonight," she said to Marc and then left without saying goodbye to me and Alex.
I and Alex were waiting for Marc to say something. "Uh, yeah... that was..." he started and wiped his lips. "Disgusting," Alex says, "what do you see on her? She's like a plastic doll! Aren't you afraid that something can fell down of her? Maybe a nose?" I could hardly keep myself from laughing. I nod of agreement. "Yeah, you know... there is nothing serious between us," Marc says, looking at me. I shrug with my shoulders: "If I can add something?" Marc nods and Alex smiles and crosses his arms and I immediately saw that he was barely waiting for what I would say. "I would really like ice cream right now. Let's go get it," I said. Marc laughs, Alex gives me a disappointed look. "Sure, I just need to change myself and then we can go," Marc caresses my cheek and taps Alex's back. "Seriously? You never stick with me," Alex says offended when Marc leaves us. I roll with my eyes: "Come on, you know him. If he says that there's nothing serious, he's telling the truth. He can do what he wants and with whom he wants. She's not that... bad," I said after a while. "Yeah, I know very well what you really think," Alex winks at me. "Are you still in love with him, like you were in childhood?" I laughed: "What nonsense are you saying. To be in love with him?? Please. He's my cousin."
"Funny, Sara. Really funny," Alex says, kicking a little stone. "I see how you look at him."
"How? The same like the other relatives. Don't be jealous," I said punching his shoulder.
"I am not jealous, but I know you never look at me like him."
"And how do I look at him, if you can tell me?" I asked and try to get away from the mess into which I fell. "Nice. Your eyes are sparkling, you smile all the time, you're blushing..." I sigh and shake with my head and kiss him on the cheek: "It just seems to you."
He knows me very well. And yeah, he's totally right. I am in love with Marc. I am in love with my cousin! My cousin! What is wrong with me?! This is forbidden, right? Love among relatives IS forbidden. In all these years in London I was really trying to forget him, but right now... He's standing in front of me, we're hugging, touching, breathing the same air. I swear I try to not love him. But... like the Nickelback song said: Trying not to love you, only makes me love you more... that's soooooooooooooo f*cking true!!!!
Back to reality, Sara.
"Are you ready?" Marc shouted when he approaches us. I stay speechless when I saw him. He was wearing a green shirt and jeans. I smile unwittingly and look to the floor. "If you could see you right now!" Alex whispers to me. I didn't answer him back because he was right. I was totally in love! In my cousin. "Why are you standing there like a heap of misery? Let's go, ice cream is waiting on us," Marc says, grabbing my hand and pulled me with him. Alex stayed behind and still stood there like dead. Marc didn't care about him, but I turned back and stopped Marc. "Alex, are you coming?" I asked. "Leave him, he has strange moments recently. Sometimes he talks to himself," Marc says. "Just like you with your bike?" I smiled and he laughs: "Hey, that's my sweetheart. I am the most kind with her."
"Hmm... I saw your kindness on my own, yes," I said and he winks at me. Well, Alex is now finally walking with us. We sat in Marc's new Honda Civic Sport and drove to the town to get ice cream. All of us, like the years before ordered exactly the same flavors: I strawberry, Marc chocolate and Alex vanilla. We sat down on a bench and talked about everything possible. "Will you try chocolate?" Marc asks me. "She doesn't dare to try it," Alex says. "Really?" I laugh and try Marc's ice cream. "Mmm, it's still as good as it was years ago," I said. "Can I try yours?" Marc asks and I nod. "Oh, yeah, the strawberry is the same, too." We all laughed. "You know Sara, since you left, Marc never wanted to go on ice cream here," Alex said. "Is that true?" I ask and look at Marc. He looked into the floor and nodded: "I was coming here only with you and with no one else. Well, except with Alex. That's our place. Do you remember when we were kids?" I nod. Of course, how can I not remember our afternoons here every summer? Everything remained the same, only the man who sold the ice cream was another. The bench was still standing in the same place, behind of it were playground where we used to play when we ate the ice cream and there was still the huge spruce tree that offered us a shade. "I'd like to go back to childhood," I said sadly when I ate the last piece of cornet. "Me too. Do you remember when you fell down of the swing?" Marc asked and I laughed: "Of course I remember! What a gigantic bump I had in my forehead. If there weren't you I don't know what I would do." We remember memories, but Alex watched us silently and smiled from time to time. "Alex, do you remember when we were running around and you fell over the root?" I asked Alex to join in conversation. He smiled and nodded. "Then you cried and limp at home with a bloody knee," Marc smiles. "And what did you two do while I was away?" Alex asked. Marc and I exchange looks. "What would we do? We were playing," I said and Marc nods. Alex didn't say anything more on that. I knew that this socializing could end badly so I decided to go home. "It's getting late, I have to go home. I even didn't say hello to Jonas... I mean - dad."
"Can we walk you home?" Marc asked. I shook with my head: "No, it's okay. See you tomorrow. What are you doing in the morning?"
"We usually go running or biking," Alex said. "Do you want to join us?" Marc adds. "Yeah, that would be nice. I miss the nature." I hug them and then I ran at home.
When I walked through the front door, I smell my mum's cooking. She was very happy when she could cook for the whole family. "I'm home!" I shout and walk to the kitchen. Mum smiled to me and blow me a kiss: "I'm preparing your favorite dinner, honey."
"Thank you, mum," I thanked to her. "Where is Gloria?"
"She's in her room. She's doing something for her work."
"Oh, then I won't disturb her. Where is... dad?" I asked difficulty.
"In the working room. I think it's time to say hello to him." I nod: "Was uncle Julia here?" Mum nodded, so I took a breath and went to father's working room. I gently knocked and opened the door: "Can I come in?"
He was on the phone, so he nodded me to step forward. I stepped in and closed the door, then I walk to the window and looked towards the house where Marc lived. I saw Marc, Alex and uncle playing soccer outside. I smiled. "Did you remembered to come and say hello to me?" Dad said. I turned around and saw that he was staring at me. I step to him and give him a weak hug. "Hi, dad. I didn't manage earlier. I was with..."
"Marc and Alex, I know," he interrupted me. "Are they more important than me?" YES, THEY ARE! "No, but I really missed them and I wanted to see them. Are you angry?"
"As a family head you should have to come first to say hello," he said in a cold tone. "You would come to the airport to pick me up," I said contemptuously. "Don't speak like that to me! You know that if I wasn't be rich you wouldn't be in such a good school as you are now!" He said angrily and with a stronger voice. "Yeah, really good school. We're isolated from everything! I can't call home more than once a month! We're in 21st century! You can be ashamed that you sent me to such a school!" I said angrily and with tears in my eyes.
"You're a disgrace to our family! God knows where you would be if I didn't send you there!"
"I would do what I always wanted!" I cry. "What is it? Would you dance? This is not a job!"
"Look at Marc and Alex! They are athletes and they are not a disgrace to the family! The whole world knows them. Roser and Julia are very proud!" I shouted. "Don't you compare with them. They are much better than you. They showed a talent even they were kids!" Jonas shouted now.
"You never tried to come and see me dance! I am ashamed that you're my father!" I shout and in that time I was hurt. He hit me for the first time in my life. We've always been fighting but never so hard to hit me. But today he did exactly that. I hate him from the bottom of my soul! Tears ran over my cheeks, but I said nothing. When I wanted to turn around to leave, he said: "Only God knows where you could be right now if we didn't save you. You can be happy to come in our family." I wiped my tears and turned around: "What do you mean?"
"We adopted you when you were two months old. Maria found you in the park, on a bench wrapped in a blanket," Jonas said with a calmer voice, but nothing gentler because he was never gentle. At least not with me.