TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU

~Twelfth Part~

Jorge drove as fast as he could. We both were quiet. I was thinking about everything possible. I was most afraid that something very bad would be with Marc. I briefly looked at Jorge, who was grabbing the steering wheel tightly and stared at the road. He neither winked with the eyes. I saw he was thinking. Although they are big competitors, they are still friends. Years ago, when I and Jorge were a couple, Marc supported us and he was very happy for us. Marc resented him very much when he cheated on me. He was convinced that they would never be friends anymore. He set his goal to beat him in every race and also in the championship. And – he did it. Several times. Jorge has a special relationship with everyone. He looks so unapproachable, selfish, conceited. But he's not like that. I know him very well and I know he's far from this. He has a good heart, he is very loving and very kind. Precisely because of these three things I fell in love with him years ago. He knows how to impress a girl.
With my thoughts, this time I sailed a little bit away from Marc. The angel on the right shoulder waved in front of my eyes to think about Marc and how I would save our relationship, but the devil on the left shoulder complained that I should forget about Marc and continue with Jorge. Totally in #99 style, right? Each of them has its own right, but at the end I'll decide whether I will listen to the left or right. At the moment, I'm more drawn to the right. Marc is a lifetime part of my family, in any case. He always was my cousin (although this is not really true) and for this reason he is currently the most important.
"We're here," Jorge's voice wakes me from my mind. I sat on the seat, I was afraid of what to expect. Is Marc okay? Does he really have just a broken leg? What if it's something worse?
"Sara, are you coming?" Jorge called me again. For a moment, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Hey, everything will be fine. You'll see that smiley Marquez is waiting for you," he said cheerfully. This time I smiled: "I hope you're right," I said and stepped out of the car. "Jorge?" I said before we left. He turned and looked at me questionably. "That what happened between us earlier..." I started. He smiled: "Nothing happened, okay. We're friends and nothing else." That smile. I nodded. "Let's go?" he asked and offered me a hand. "I..." I started again, "I don't know what I feel," I admitted. "Look, there would be time for everything. The most important is that you get to Marc as soon as possible."
I nodded again and accepted Jorge's hand. Then we walked into the hospital.
Alex, Gloria, Roser, Julia and mum sat in the waiting room. "Sara," my aunt said crying and came to me. "How is with him?" I asked and I gave her a strong hug. Aunt was crying inconsolably so uncle came to us: "There are still doctors with him. They have already confirmed that he has a broken leg, but they are afraid of internal bleeding because he has lost consciousness."
At that time, everything went black before my eyes and before I tumble across the floor, Jorge catches me. "Sara, are you okay?" I heard his voice. "Help her sit down," I heard my uncle. Soon, I didn't hear anything.

"The pressure strongly dropped down, otherwise she's fine. She will wake up soon," I heard a man's voice. I opened my eyes: "Where am I?" I asked.
My mum and sister stood on my right side and on the left was an unknown person – the doctor I guess. "You're in a sickroom, sweetheart," mum said, caressing my hair. "Why? What happened?" I asked. "You lost consciousness," my sister said this time. "Now you look much better, miss. The pressure has also improved. You'll stay here in observation for a few minutes, then you can go," the doctor said, then left us alone. "Do you want water?" Gloria asked and I nodded. I drank a sip of water then I asked: "How is Marc?" Mum and Gloria looked at each other. "What? Tell me how is he!" I shout. "Calm down, Sara," mum said. "How can I calm down if I don't know how it is with him!" I shout again. "Marc is..." Gloria started when mum interrupted her: "Gloria, it's not a good time to tell her." I quickly sit up in the bed: "Stop it! I want to know how he is!"
At that moment someone knocked. Mum stepped to the door and opened them. It was Jorge. "Sara, the doctor said you feel better," he said as he walked to the bed on which I was lying. "I'm fine. Please, tell me how Marc is," I said. He looked at my mum and sister, then at me. And he was quiet. What the hell is going on?! Why is nobody wanting to tell me how is my... cousin!? Because they were still quiet, I jumped out of bed despite the fact that it started to spinning around me everything again. "Where are you going?" mum grabs my hand. "To Marc! I deserve to know how he is. If you don't want to tell me, I go to find out by myself."
I took my hand off my mother hold and ran to the door, as Jorge spoke: "He has a concussion. He doesn't remember anything."
I turned around immediately: "What does that mean?"
"He only knows his name. He also remembered his parents and brother," mum said. "What about that he's a world champion? Riding a motorcycle? To travel around the world?" I started asking. All three of them shook their heads. "That's not possible!" I shouted and began to cry, "this is not possible."
"Please, calm down," Jorge said and hugged me. "He doesn't remember me, right?" I asked during a crying. "He has not ask about you. He may remember you when he sees you," mum said. That made me hurt. It is very painful. Besides Alex, I spent my childhood with him. We were inseparable, how he couldn't remember me? "Drink a little water. You become pale again," Gloria said, giving me a glass. I drank a few more sips. "I want to see him," I said in a trembled voice. "Okay. Currently, Roser, Julia and Alex are with him. When they come out, you can go in," mum said.

We slowly walked to the waiting room, where I sat on a chair and stared into the floor. How it is possible? Why did this happen to him? If I didn't behave so rude against him, it would not have happened. It's all my fault. I started to cry again. Uncle, aunt and Alex had not been out yet and I became impatient. Jorge and mum were sitting beside me, while sister walked up and down the waiting room. "Gloria, come with me to take some coffee," mum said and Gloria nodded. "Do you want it too?" she asked us. "I'd like some tea, please," Jorge said. "Of course. What about you, Sara?" mum said. "I don't want anything, thanks," I said quietly. "Okay. Jorge, please take care of her," mum said and kiss us both on cheeks. I started to shake and Jorge embraced me. "Why is this happening?" I asked. "It's such a fate. Please, don't worry. Everything will be okay. The doctor said that this is only a temporary amnesia. It is possible that he'll remember everything in a few days."
"Is it possible that this will take a long time?"
For some time he remained silent. "Please, tell me," I pleased. He looked into the ground and quietly said: "Some things may never be remembered anymore."
"Things? Events? Even the people?" I asked. He nodded. "It's all my fault, Jorge," I started to cry again. "Sssh, please, don't cry. I can't watch you like this. Please, Sara," he caresses my back. My good loving Jorge. "Sara, are you all right?" I suddenly heard aunt's voice. I looked up and saw that aunt, uncle and Alex had returned to the waiting room. "How is he?" I asked and stand up. "Okay," aunt answered shortly and embraced me. "He's little confused, but our old Marc will soon be back," uncle said. I looked at Alex, who was leaning against the wall with his arms on his chests. I walked up to him and hugged him. At that moment he began to cry. "Hey, little one... it's okay," I said with a broken voice. I am feeling very bad, but right now, watching my younger cousin crying, I feel even worse – but still, I had to be strong. "He doesn't even remember what he has achieved in his life, Sara," he said through his tears. "He doesn't know how many fans he has and how the whole world admires him." I squeezed him even harder in hug: "We'll help him to remember everything again. I promise, Alex."
Jorge approached us: "Take some tea to calms you," he said and offered Alex his tea. "T-thanks," Alex stutters and took a cup with tea. "It's time for you to go to him," Jorge said to me. I nodded: "Will you stay with Alex?"
"Of course, don't worry."
I hugged Alex once again, and then I kissed Jorge on the cheek.
"He's in room 25," Alex said, then I left.

The whole time I was feeling sick in my stomach and my heart was beating like insane. My legs barely hold me and I had to stop several times and breathe deeply. It tooks a lot of time to get to the right room. I stand in front of the right door and look at number 25. Only this door separates me from him. I close my eyes and once again take a deep breath, then I lightly knock on the door and step in.
At first, I hear a steady beep of the device to which he's connected. I look toward the screen and it seems to me that his heartbeat is normal. Then I look at him. His eyes are closed, there are some bruises and scratches on his face and his leg is in the plaster. I'm still standing at the door and looking at him. He's so weak. Yesterday he was all smiling but now he's helpless lying on a hospital. When I want to turn to leave, I hear him saying: "Hi," with a sleepy voice. I slowly turn back to him and our eyes meet. When he smiles at me, the tear slips down my face. For a moment I think that he knows who I am. I walked to the bed and smile. We're watching each other for a while. "How are you feeling?" I ask him after a while. "Now that they've filled me with the medicines, I feel great," he said. Yeah, he's still the same Marc. "I'm glad," I said and look at his broken leg. "It will take some time for healing. They've said that it's a compound fracture," he said, "the treatment will take a long time," he continues. I nod. "I'm not worried about the leg. I am young and I know that it will be better soon. I'm afraid that it'll take a long time to recover my memory."
Yes, he's definitely the same Marc. When he starts speaking, he doesn't stop. With this thought, I briefly smiled.
"Is it true that you don't remember anything?" I ask. "Well, I know that I'm Marc Marquez from Cervera. I have an elder brother Alex, my mum is Roser and my dad is Julia," he says proudly.
"Alex is your younger brother, Marc," I fixed him. "Isn't he born in 1993?" he asked confusedly. There are tears in my eyes again: "No, you're born in 1993."
"Oh, thank you," he said and smiled again. "Em, they mentioned to me that I have two cousins. I'm sorry to ask, but... you're one of them, right?"
This time it hurts again. I feel that my heart has burst and I stop breathing for a moment. It is true. He doesn't remember me.