TRYING NOT TO LOVE YOU

~Fourteenth Part~

"How do you feel?" Jorge asked me when we walked to the car. I shrugged with my shoulders. "Are you hungry?" he asked again. I am not hungry, I am starving!!! "Actually, yes I am," I looked at him and smiled. "Well, I am inviting you to the dinner then," he said and smiled back. "No, I'll invite you. You were invited me to the cinema last time, so it's my turn now," I said when we get to the car. "Okay, you'll invite and I'll pay," he winked at me. I roll with my eyes and laughed. We sit in the car and drive to the city. "Do you want a pizza?" he asks when we stop at the traffic light. "Uhm, I'd like some French fries and a big hamburger," I admit when he laughs. "Okay, we can do that. So, McDonald's it is?" My eyes sparkles and he knows at the moment what my answer is, because he is already turning left toward McDonald's.
We both order a big Big Mac menu and sit down at the table. I immediately start eating fries when Jorge starts to laugh, so I look at him. "You still eat fries first?" I nod with full mouth and he laughs once again. "You know that I always leave the best for the end," I say later and take a sip of coke.
Well, it is true that I have the habit to eat fries at first and even then I start eating hamburger. I'm doing it from my childhood.
"I missed you, Sara," he said after a while. I smile, but I don't know what to answer so I stay in silence. After a while we begin to talk about the usual things and when we finish eating, we go to the car.
"You look very tired," he said when we sat in a car. Yeah, I really am. "I can only see the bed," I admit and yawn.
"It's a difficult day behind us," he agrees and drives away. We were driving to my house and listening the radio. With the rhythms of Latin music I close my eyes and fall asleep in few seconds.
"Sara, we're home," I hear but I can't open my eyes. Suddenly I get a gentle kiss on the cheek and I smile but I still don't open my eyes. I breathe in a gentle male perfume and I just decide to open my eyes when I see Jorge's face that smiles in front of me. "Oh, I fell asleep," I say quietly and smile. "Oh really? I thought you were only thinking deeply," he laughs, so I tap him on the shoulder and laugh too.
"Thanks for the ride," I say and unfasten the belt. "I'll walk you to the door," he said as we step out of the car and walk to the door. There are lights on the hallway and in the living room, so they are still not sleeping.
"Do you want some coffee?" I ask. "No thanks. I prefer it tomorrow morning, if I can?" he said with a smile. "Of course. We can go together to Marc. It would be nice if you visit him. Maybe he'll remember you when he sees you."
He nods and then he gently corrects the lock of my hair that escaped from the ponytail. At his touch, my skin bristled. I smile and look into his eyes that are sparkling. I step closer to him: "Thank you for everything," I thanked. He smiles and begins to lean closer to me. Oh, sh*t. My heart starts beating like insane and the little devil on my left shoulder is doing somersaults and making fireworks. I close my eyes instantly when his lips touches mine. This is not an ordinary kiss. It is a bit more, because I let myself go. I open my mouth and our tongues are suddenly intertwined. I wrap my arms around his neck and he hugs me around my hips. We're kissing - I basically don't know for how long. I only know that the kiss ends when he steps two steps away: "I am sorry, I shouldn't do that. I'd better go. Good night."
I don't say anything, I just watch how he runs to the car and drive away. I look after him until I get cold. I take a deep breath and walk into the house.
I take off the shoes and peek into the living room. "Hey," my sister greeted me. She's on the couch and watching family albums. "Can I join you?" I ask her when she nods and makes me a place so I can sit down to her.
"You want something to eat?" she asked. "No, I was with Jorge in McDonald's," I say and look into the ground. I feel the heat in my face. "He couldn't take you anywhere else?"
"I wanted to go there," I quickly say and look into the album.
"Would you like to talk?" she asks me, but I don't listen to her, because I ask her where the parents are. "They are with Roser and Julia. Let's talk, Sara."
"There is nothing. I'm worried about Marc," I say. I lied a little. Well I am really worried about him but that kiss five minutes ago... "Look at that photo when we were little," I say and point to the picture on which were Marc, Alex, Gloria and I for Christmas. Gloria closes the album and puts in on the table in front of us. "Sara," she said and holds my hands, "what happened?"
"Look, there is nothing, believe me. I am just tired," I say but I don't look into her eyes. "Are you in any doubt?" she asked. She still insists???? "No," I answer shortly. "Sara... you know you can tell me everything, don't you?"
I nod: "I know, thanks. Now I would like to take a shower and then go to bed. I am really tired. Tomorrow morning we're going to Marc," I say and want to get up but she's still holding my hands. "We're going?"
"Jorge goes with me. Perhaps Marc will remember him when he sees him." Gloria nods: "You really don't want to tell me anything else?" she asks me again. "Okay! We kissed," I say and sit back. "You and Marc?" she asks but I shook with my head. "No, are you insane??!"
"So, you and Jorge."
I nod and look to the floor.
"And... what did you feel?"
"We kissed before but that kiss tonight... I don't know...," I sigh deeply. "Do you think you're still in love with him?" she asks me. I shrug with my shoulders: "I don't know. I really don't know. I am confused..."
"What about Marc?"
"Marc doesn't remember anything. He doesn't remember that we were together yesterday. You know what I mean by this t o g e t h e r? We slept together. Without protection. What if we weren't careful enough and I am pregnant now?? Let me come and say: Hello, I know you think I am your cousin but in reality I am not because we've had sex and now we're going to have a baby!"
"Sara, don't panic," Gloria said and hugs me. "So it's possible that you love both of them?"
Is this really possible?
"I don't know, Gloria, I don't know," I begin to cry. "I will never forget how badly he cheated on me, but... when I look into his eyes, I see that he is very sorry and that he really loves me. And he knows that I am in love with Marc, but... I don't know. I feel something but I don't know what it is."
"What did you feel when he kissed you?"
"My heart went insane. I was happy for that kiss," I confess and wipe tears.
"I would advise you to spend more time with Marc and his recovery. I think that you can help him most."
"So I should tell Jorge that it will be better if we don't see each other anymore?" I ask. "No. you just need to spend less time with him. So you'll see if you miss him or Marc will be more important and you'll dedicate your time only to him."
"Marc is the most important in that moment," I say and hug my sister, who is one of my greatest confidants.