Love In Hate

8 Changes

Sun's POV

"I want to sit here," I slammed the books on the desk beside Nash. The boy got startled by my sudden approach. He looked at me and Nash, back and forth. Nash's face was full of confusion but he signaled the boy to change his seat.

"Go sit at my place," I told him. The boy nodded and carried his bag along with him. I later took my sit. The class would start soon. Nash was still looking at me.

"What happens to you?" he asked me. Before I could answer, Zac and Pong came to us. Pong patted me on my back.

"Yo, dude. Why are you sitting here?" Pong sat on my table. I leaned against my chair, looking up to them one by one.

I shrugged. "Nothing's happen. I just want to sit here,"

Zac reached out his hand to feel my pocket. "Where is your mp3?" he furrowed his brows.

I pointed to my bag. "In there," the bag was at my old seat. "Hey, give me my bag," I said to the boy that was sitting at my seat now.

He stood up right away to hand me my bag. Those guys were bewildered to see me behaving like that. "Today, I want to study," I said.

They widened their eyes. "Why is the sudden?" Pong smirked.

"Just felt like it," I answered them.

They all looked at each other and shrugged. "Whatever, man." Zac punched me lightly in the shoulder and walking towards the back of the class. Pong followed him later.

I turned my head to Nash and he raised his brows at me. He smiled and gave me a thumb's up.

***

"How're you doing nowadays?" Inn asked me while sipped on his drink.

I was eating my anchovy's bread. "Better I guess?" I replied.

Inn nodded although I wasn't looking at him. But I could see him at the corner of my eyes. We were hanging out at our usual spot. We didn't meet everyday. Just when I felt like I wanted to come here, then I did. No matter Inn was here or not.

It's been a week after we talked at the park. I was getting used to my new lifestyle. This past week, 2 times my cigarettes were taken by Inn. But I still kept some though. I didn't smoke like before. One cigarette per day was a small amount. I planned to cut it more but I still need time to fully stop.

My gang never questioned me where I was going. They knew I always hanged around here. But the thing they didn't know is that, Inn was here as well.

They also didn't ask me anything about my sudden change. Liked how we never asked Nash about it. But nothing's changed in our friendship. We still hanged out together. It's just that I wasn't fighting anymore and I didn't ditch class. I still smoked and sometimes I drank.

"Sun..."

"Hm?" I hummed.

"If I ask you something, would you get mad?"

I glanced over to him. "You don't ask me yet, how would I know I'm going to get mad?"

He was looking at me, a bit hesitant. I waited for him to shoot his question. He opened his mouth then closed it back. I was a little nervous actually. What did he want to ask me?

"You smoke, you ditched class, you fight, you drink..."

I raised my brows. He was telling me all my bad attitudes? Yeah. I was bad. Gotta admit that.

"So, do you do pills?"

I was looking at him coldly. He was wearing a guilty face but he still waited for my answer. "You think I'm too stupid to get involved in that thing?" my voice was stern.

"But you got involved with gangsters. It's not imposs..."

"You're being judgemental!" I raised my voice a little bit. I knew what he was thinking. "Just because I did all those things, it doesn't mean I do pills. Have you seen me getting high? Have I ever carry something like needle or pills? Have you seen all that?"

He looked at me in surprise. All these while, I never raised my voice at him. But his question this time really ticks me off.

"Sun..." his tone changed. He let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way,"

I bit my lower lips and averted my gaze to the tree. "I never did that," for the last time, I said it.

"I'm sorry again. I'm afraid to assume that's why I want to ask you in person. I don't want to think badly of you. I know you're a good guy inside."

I didn't have an answer for that. Inn was right. It's bad to assume and judge people by looking from the outside. The one you called a slut might actually be a virgin. The one you called as poor already worked hard to earn one baht. The one you bullied might already have a problem at home. We never knew. So, don't judge.

"Sorry for raising my voice," I turned to look at him.

He smiled. "Never mind. I was the one that insensitive,"

I shook my head. "I'm glad you ask. If not, you must be thinking wrong about me. But Inn, don't judge people. Even if we did bad things, taking drugs is the last thing we ever thought to do."

He chuckled. "You know what? I kinda shocked when you called me being judgemental. I think I do. And it slapped me hard. It's a lesson for me," he shook his head.

I just nodded. I already finished eating my bread. I opened my drink and took a gulp. I didn't bring my mp3 here with me but I did have it in class. I forgot to bring it actually.

"That night at the park, you drank because you're getting stressed?" Inn suddenly asked me.

I put down the bottle in my hand after I closed it. Inn was throwing his empty bottle to the trash bin. It took me a while to answer him. "Not really. Just sometimes,"

"What did you do then?"

"To release my stress?"

Inn nodded.

I put my right leg on my left one, straightening forward. "Listening to music. Out. Sleep."

"If you go out, where are you going?"

"To the park. Or somewhere silence. When there is no one,"

"A club? A pub?"

I looked at him while he put up his hands dramatically. "I don't assume. Nash told me that. He said sometimes, you guys would hang out at the club,"

I nodded. "I didn't join them. I don't like a place with too many people. It's suffocating,"

This time, Inn was the one nodding his head. "I don't like it as well. It's too loud, too packed and people always got drunk."

"You never drank?" I asked him.

"No. We are still underage you know," he grinned.

I chuckled. I started drinking last year. Pong got us some. I didn't know how he got it. "I drank but I was never getting drunk,"

"Are you telling the truth?" he asked me in disbelief.

"Yeah. Pretty much. I can tolerate a can of beer. But beyond that, I never tried. Plus, I hate getting drunk. Your head can get fucking hurt. That's what Zac told me. And if I got drunk outside of my house, who knows what would happen,"

"Can't argue more,"