Love In Hate

24 Special Chapter: Inn

I blinked my eyes a few times because I couldn't believe it. Although he was back-facing me, I already knew it was him. I became his shadow for almost a year back then. Just by a glance, I still knew.

At first, I didn't want to go with the guys when he asked me to go greet Nash. Because I knew he didn't want to see me. Plus, I still felt guilty over the fight we had few years ago. I never had a chance to say sorry to him. I just left him like that.

But then, I made up my mind. I had hurt him for so long. I had to ask for his forgiveness no matter what. I saw that as my only chance so I showed up.

I saw him getting tense on his seat when I spoke out. I intended to do it. Because I wanted to know if he would still remember me. And he did.

But he didn't turn his face to me at all. He made an excuse to go to the toilet after he gave his smile to all of us. That excluded me. I followed his shadow until he disappeared behind the wall. Later, I stood up to follow him but I told the guys at the table that I wanted to make a call.

I saw him standing in front of the mirror. He didn't notice me as he looked like in a deep thought. I greeted him and he looked surprised by my presence. But he still answered me.

I thought he was already okay but he wasn't. He still had the memory and he clearly having grudge on me because of it. I couldn't blame him for that. It was my fault. But I did it again.

I hurt him again with my words. I wanted to punch my mouth so bad for not thinking ahead before saying anything.

And then, it got worst.

Nash was there. Both of us were surprised when we saw him. But Nash hadn't said a word and Sun also walked away like nothing happened. I was left there, getting nervous when Nash came into the toilet. I awkwardly smiled to him and planned to get out from there as soon as possible. But Nash's words stopped me.

"I need to talk to you. I'll come see you tomorrow. At your university,"

With that, he disappeared into the toilet.

***

I asked him to get inside my room. I was staying alone at this apartment. I called Nash last night to ask him to meet me here. And he just agreed with it.

He took a sit on the couch and I opened my freezer to get him a drink.

"So, what happen 3 years ago?" he bombarded me with the question. I grinned and closed the freezer.

"Can't you wait?" I asked.

"With me, no intro. Just straight to the point," he said. I just shook my head.

I took two glasses from the cabinet. "What do you think?" I still refused to tell him the truth.

"You broke his heart?"

I poured the juice into the glasses. "It's the opposite," I said slowly but to my surprise, Nash heard it. I didn't know if he was kidding me. But, if he was serious, did he knew already?

"What?" Nash asked in disbelief. "But you said that he was mad with you because you found out his secret?"

I handed him the glass and he took it. I sat beside him. "You heard us?"

He nodded.

I nodded my head as well.

"What secret?" Nash looked at me, waiting for my answer. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't just spoke it out in front of him. It was related to Sun's life.

"I don't think I can answer your question," I told him.

"Is it the one that he is gay?"

So, he really knew. "You know?" I asked him, getting a little worked up.

"Just knew." He said. "So, this is it? I guess it correct?"

I sighed and put my glass on the table. "Yeah."

"When did you know?"

"3 years ago. A week before last exam,"

Nash nodded. "No wonder,"

I turned to look at him. He drank from his glass and later put the glass down as well. "What is it?" I asked him.

"You still remembered when I told you he changed when we were in 11th grade?"

"Yes," I remembered it. Sun turned into a playboy. Nash told me he always go to clubbing, sleeping with girls and getting drunk so often.

You wanted to know why I never find him these past few years although I already promised myself to get to him?

Because he changed. He wasn't the Sun that I knew anymore. And the fact that he became a playboy really broke my heart. I thought that even if I confessed to him back then, I would never have a chance because he liked girls already. He wouldn't like a guy like me. Not to mention, he already told me that he never loved me even once.

So, what hope did I have? I didn't want him to hate me more than he already did. But now, I felt strange tho. Nash just knew about it. Did it mean that he never changed?

"I think I know why. The puzzle is completed,"

Nash's words got me back into reality. I furrowed my brows at him. "Puzzle?"

"He changed after you left,"

"What?" I was confused.

"You knew he was gay, right? Did you guys have a fight because of it?" Nash asked me.

I nodded my head.

"You know what? I always thought for a reason why he changed so much back then. That's before he turned to become a playboy. When he went for a tutoring session with you."

I nodded again, giving Nash a cue to continue. "He's actually keeping so much pressure inside him. You know, his family. He never told us anything about it. It's like he built a wall around him, not letting us into his life. But when he met you, he slowly became lively, happy. I'd never seen him like that. He even studied hard. He didn't smoke. He stopped fighting. Simply said, he left all the bad things when he met you."

I smiled when Nash told me that. I knew he changed along the time we were together. I was the one going through all that with him. But I never thought, he changed because of me.

"And then you left. He changed again. You know what he turned into right?"

"Yeah..." I leaned against the seat, letting out a sigh. What a stupid person I was. "Why I never thought about it? Because of me, he..." I couldn't finish my words.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Nash stared at me.

"Going after him. What else?" I answered Nash slowly.

He smiled while patting my shoulder. "Do you love him?" Nash asked.

I looked ahead at the wall although there was nothing there. "Damn love him."

"Then you know what to do,"