Love In Hate

20 Love in hate

The presence...

Sun's POV

I ate my meal while glancing to Nash in front of me. We were having meal at business faculty. Nash was sipping on his drink, looking anxious. I knew why he was behaving that way.

Later, the person showed up. He was panting when he arrived at our table.

"Sorry I'm late," Win said, putting his bag down.

"It's okay," Nash smiled to him.

Win smiled back to him and flashed his smile to both Zac and me too.

"Have you eating yet?" Win asked Nash.

"Nope. I was waiting for you," Nash told him.

"Next time, you don't have to. You can eat first without me," Win said.

"I want to wait. I don't mind,"

"Okay then. What do you want to eat? I'll go get it for you,"

"I'll come with you," Nash said. Later, they both went to the food stall to buy their meals. I turned to look at Zac. He was also looking at me.

"They are happy, don't they?" Zac raised his brows.

I turned my head to the front, looking for the couple again. "Yeah," I replied slowly. I was shocked when I found out about them at first. Couldn't believe it but now I do. They never showed their lovey-dovey scene in front of us that sometimes I wondered, were they really a couple? But they cared about each other. It was obvious. I could see that. Liked how someone used to care about me.

Well, it was a long time ago. To be exact, 3 years ago until he suddenly disappeared from my life.

I had a choice actually. I could ask Nash about him whenever I wanted because I knew Nash kept a contact with him. But I didn't. He was the one that started it.

Back then, I couldn't live without him. I thought of saying sorry to him. I wanted him to become my friend again. But he was avoiding me. I still hanged out at that spot although we fought. Hoping to see him there but he never appeared. You wouldn't expect me to go see him after class for tutoring session and acted like nothing happened when I'm fucking knew something actually happened?

Not to forget how scared I was during that time to think that he might spill my secret to others. But until now, no one knows. I was the one coming out myself. Because I think that the time had come for me to be honest to my friends.

I wanted to keep it until when? I was tired to live in pretentious. And I couldn't afford to break anyone's heart anymore. I pitied those girls that I had slept with. I didn't mean to treat them like trash. Even if it just for one-night stand, but they also have heart. Although I might be the number hundred man who had slept with them.

So, I decided to quit. I wanted to change to my old-self. I'm gay. So, that's who I was going to be.

When did I decide to become a playboy? When I think back, it was when I knew Inn wouldn't be at my school anymore. He moved out and never came back. When I first heard the news, I couldn't help but to think that he was running away from me. Yeah. I knew from Nash he was moving to music college to pursue his study. Nash said that he want to chase his dreams to be a musician. I knew about his dreams. But I never knew his parents allowed him to do that. As far as I know, his parents wanted him to do medic.

Huh. How would I know about it when we fought big time? It made sense.

I changed to become a playboy in a hope that when he came back, he would know that I wasn't gay anymore. But, to whom do I lie? I did know he would never come back. But I still did it because I wanted to hide it from my friends as well. I didn't want them to leave me liked Inn did.

I went to the club and pub every weekend's night. Even weekdays sometimes. I hate crowded places but I forced myself to get used to it. And I managed to continue my life in that way.

Even though I sounded terrible, I didn't neglect my study. I even lowered my ego to ask my sister to teach me. We were on good terms now thanks to the time we spent during that time.

Why I still studied hard when he wasn't there anymore?

Because although he wasn't there, I kept his words in my mind.

"Do you want to jeopardize your future because of your parents? You need to show them that you can do it. You can success as well. Nothing is impossible if you want it. You just need to work hard,"

Inn... you changed my world. You changed my life. And I thanked you for that.

If you asked me, did I hate him?

I do. He just left me like that. Bare and empty. I was left empty. I never felt like that in my whole life.

I almost failed my exams when we had the fight. But again, thanks to his words, I was saved.

I couldn't put a word to my feeling. I hate him and yet I loved him?

Love in hate?

I wish I could forget him sooner. I had enough already.

A/n: Nash and Win are my characters from You Know You Win My Love. These two stories are related to each other. But just a piece of it. But still, if you want to read, go ahead.