Love In Hate

12 Ordinary life

Sun's POV

I opened the gate and walked in. As I opened the door, I saw my sister was sitting at the diner table, doing her homework. My mom was sitting at the couch, watching tv. My sister looked up to me and cracked a smile on her face. I smiled back to her.

Just as I wanted to make my way to my room, my mom's voice stopped me from stepping ahead.

"What's gonna happen with you? If you're going to stay this late outside, next time don't have to come home. Can't you see your sister? She's studying although she already got the best grade. And you?"

I didn't answer my mom even a single bit. My sister's face looked kinda guilty but I didn't need her sympathy.

"Why can't you be like your sister? Be at home. Don't go anywhere. I don't even know what type of guys you're hanging out with."

You didn't know because you never asked and paid attention to me. You just know that I was the bad son and I had to be like my sister. It's always my sister. Always need to be compare although you knew the differences between us was like the sky and the earth.

I didn't give my mom any more time to blabber when I quickly made my way upstairs.

I landed on my stomach after I put away my bag. When I climbed up the stairs just now, I could still hear my mom. But now, I was in my room so I couldn't hear her anymore.

If you asked me whether I was hurt, I felt it a long time ago. If it was someone else, maybe they already became immune with it. But I wasn't. Each time, I felt like a sword being stabbed into my heart. It's a big deal because they are my parents. That's why.

I wish I would have another brother so that I could share the pain with him. Even though my sister and I are the only two siblings, we aren't closed to each other. We talked only when we felt like it. When I wanted her stuffs or she needed mine, then we talked. If not, I would lock myself in my room and she would be busy with her books.

I let out a breath of frustration. What a stressful and boring life I had...

I think I can understand why people tend to do suicide when they find life was hard on them. And usually, family was the main reason for someone to turn out bad way. There's a lot of people out there whom their parents were drug addicts, drunkards, hot-headed that the wife and children became the victims of abusing.

I should be thankful enough not to having those kind of parents. I wondered how to live in the hell-houses like that. In those situations, people might probably seek suicide because they were stress and couldn't handle being hurt anymore.

No matter how much I was mad with my parents, I never thought of having suicide. No matter how much my parents hurt me with their behaviors and attitudes, I never wanted to end my life. If there is a way, then I wanted to actually get out from this house. To live on my own out there, even though I knew too well life is not that easy. And with the way I am, it would take much effort for me to survive.

Can't I have an ordinary life liked other people? I kept asking this to myself but as usual, it's a question with no answer. If I asked the most intelligent person in the world, they couldn't answer it for me as well.

Ordinary Life?

I just remembered about it. I rolled over to land on my back. I took out the phone from my pocket.

I opened YouTube to search for the song Inn had told me at the restaurant. What is the band's name again?

I think it's SevenCollar T-Shirt.

I found it!

I clicked on the video and let the song play. The music boomed out with the loudest volume.

I can see your heart is changing
trying to hide the truth, its in your eyes
You built a wall around your body
I can sense resistance in your dance
We sit in silence, talk is over
I would never say surrender
but nothing I can do can change
Your mind

You praise the world in all its glory
Hiding by the shadows of your doubts
You turn your face towards the laughter
I can sense the hunger fill your mind
Don't feed me lies to ease your worries
'cos I just heard a similar story
Nothing you can do can break
My heart

Ooh, I just want an ordinary life

Don't cry, Don't grieve, Don't argue
Don't stop, Don't stop, continue your lines

Ooh, I just want an ordinary life.

It is an amazing song with inspiring lyrics. That dude really had great taste in music. I had to admit that.

Don't cry, don't grieve, don't argue. The vocalist kept repeating on those sentences.

Yeah, Sun. Don't cry. Men don't cry. Be strong.

Don't grieve. Everything will be better.

Don't argue. They are your parents.

And for the last few hours, I ended up listening to all the band's songs. I already liked them so much.